Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
by BurpingBubbles
Summary: Lily Evans is no angel. She’s a redheaded fireball of temper and occasional embarrassment. She can’t stand needles, spiders and James Potter. What happens when they somehow end up stuck together for 3 months worth of detentions? Watch out for fireworks...
1. Chapter 1

Sirius Black has to be the most notorious player Hogwarts has ever seen, and when you look at people like James Potter and Alicia Finnigan that is really saying something.

Oh, he struts into the common room with Potter (who is his best friend, big surprise) and everyone automatically glances round. Everyone secretly (or not so secretly in SOME of their cases) hopes to catch his eye, for him to smile at them. Seriously, he has one killer smile that boy. Even I have to admit it. He smiled at Marlene and she came running, without a second thought for her best friends warning (i.e.: me)

I can still hear her voice, whispering constantly about him. "_Sirius is so sexy! I'm sure he's the one…bla bla bla…make's me feel so special…la la la…is a great kisser…_"

Marlene found out he was a great kisser. And so did that other girl she found him snogging a fortnight after he asked her out.

I swear to god, I have never wanted to say 'I told you so' so badly. But I didn't, because I'm a good best friend. So I handed her tissues, and hugged her and assured her she was worth ten of that stupid, ugly Sirius Black.

That just made her cry harder because we both know that's a total lie. Black is neither stupid nor ugly, and on the social scale he is certainly worth way, way more than Marlene.

But you know what? I couldn't care less about his good-looks, or his rocketing-above-average intelligence. To me, he is a total git for hurting my best friend along with countless other girls. He can smile that quirky, alluring smile all he likes, because to me all he is is a toad. A huge, slimy, heartbreaking toad.

And that is why, ladies and gentlemen, when Black wolf-whistled at me passing by him in the common room this afternoon did I stomp up to him and slap him with a resounding _crack. _

I don't think he liked it very much.


	2. The Art of Slapping

It was a great slap. My best yet, I have to say.

Black didn't seem to appreciate the art of slapping. On the contrary, he looked kinda shell-shocked, as though no-one had ever done that before. His buddy Potter (next up on the social scale) snorted with laughter.

"I'm sorry, was there something funny?" I ground out through clenched teeth. He straightened up and saluted me, the stupid berk.

"Sir, no, sir!" he barked, army-style. It didn't impress me. I mean, Petunia can do a better impression than that, for heavens sake. I tried staring him out for a moment, only he just cracked up and muttered something in Black's ear, who also proceeded to laugh like a constipated ostrich.

"What?" I snapped, because really, nothing winds me up more than people laughing at me when I don't know the cause of the joke, "What the hell are you laughing at?"

Ok, I didn't say _hell. _I said something much worse, which shows you how riled I was. Potter and Black mock-gasped.

"Meow, Evans, language!"

"Potter, quit dodging the blooming question!"

Or words to that effect.

Potter smirked some more, then leant down to my level. Hate to admit it, but he did have to bend down quite a bit. Not because I am small. Because he is a bloody bean-pole. He then proceeded to whisper confidentially, "Well, Evans, the thing is, from our position we can see quite a way down your blouse." As my eyes widened and my cheeks flooded with colour, he added with a wink, "And a very nice view it was too."

Potter was the next person to experience my skill at slapping. This time I did it so hard I had to shake my hand and blow on it to cease the sting, but that could only be half of what Potter was feeling.

His face. It was hilarious.

Marlene met up with me after I ran back upstairs to the safety of the girls dorms. "Lily! I can not believe you did that!" she cried, her voice very high pitched. For a moment I thought she was seriously angry at me. Then she threw her arms around me and almost knocked me over backwards with an extremely forceful hug.

"I'm so proud of you!" she choked out in this little, quavering voice, "I love you so much!"

Ok, right, let's hold it right there before you go raising any eyebrows. Marlene gets like this when she's emotional. She's often tells people she loves them, especially me. I once caught her telling a _tree _she loved it once.

Mind you, she was pretty drunk at the time.

"Marlene, don't…I was just angry, I…" Nope, no good. Marlene was now an official sobbing wreck.

Oh, and did I mention? She also cries a lot. At absolutely anything.

Well, at least no-one can ever accuse her of bottling herself up.

"Y-you was so b-b-brave!" she got out at last. I sighed and rubbed her back, deciding it was best just to agree with her.

"Yes, I know."

"Y-you really showed them!"

"Yes, I know."

"Lily?" she raised her head and looked at me. "I love you."

"Yes, Marlene. I love you too."

It was at that moment the door burst open, and our other three dorm mates burst in. The air was full of 'Omigod!'s and 'Ican'tbelieveyoudidthat!'s and 'You go, girl!'s.

Wow. Only three weeks into fifth year and already a mini-celebrity. Not bad.

Not bad at all.


	3. Laughter ringing in my ears

It was safe to say that Marlene was back to her old, dippy self. I woke up this morning to her humming 'the sun will come out tomorrow' as she slammed down the toilet lid in the bathroom, ran the tap then came striding out, a bright smile on her face.

"You know, one of these days the porcelain will crack on that bog and then what will you do?" I mumbled darkly, making her jump and spin round.

"Lily! I didn't think you'd be up at this time!"

"I'm not. I'm just going to go back to sleep. Night."

With that, I rolled over and didn't surface again until midday.

Hey, it's Saturday, and I'll do with it what I will. No-one else seems to mind especially. Petunia always hated it when I stumbled into the kitchen at half eleven, still in my pyjamas, and if it annoys her then that's fine with me. So it's become kind of a habit.

Only as I shuffled sleepily through the common room, eyes half closed and hair still in its rat-bag, loose bed-time ponytail, I hear a voice call out to me, "Hey, Evans!"

Surprise, surprise, it was Potter and Black and some other dude I didn't know. After looking them up and down, I yawned as though the mere sight of them bored me then continued to walk wearily towards the portrait hole. It's a new tactic I've discovered, when people try to be all threatening and stuff I just act like they bore me to pieces. It unnerves them no end.

Potter, clearly, wasn't one to be put off by that. He put out a hand to stop me. "What the hell is wrong with you? You look like you just got punched in the eyes."

"Well, gee, thanks so much!" I snapped at him. I mean, I know my eyes are kind of black because I didn't take off my eye-make up last night, but really! I turned away to go, but he caught me on the shoulder again. Berk.

"No, Evans, don't go. Who's been punching you, eh? Want me to sort them out for you?" I stared at him in unflattering disbelief.

"Are you serious?"

"Nope, that's me," quipped Black, grinning at me. I scowled at the pair of them, but especially at Potter.

"You're wasting my time." I said, nice and cool, "I'm going."

And so I went.

And walked straight into a table.

You know, Potter and Black can laugh really loudly when they want to. I mean, it's still ringing in my ears.

Oh, God…

At least Marlene was sympathetic, that's all I can say.


	4. Thunking Idiots

History of Magic lesson. Quarter to three on a Friday afternoon.

Those ten, no, wait, eleven words alone can drive a stake of horror into any Hogwarts student's heart. But I am not any Hogwarts student. No, I am Lily Evans, and I have an addition to stick on the end of that terrible, terrible title:

History of Magic lesson. Quarter to three on a Friday afternoon. Potter and Black sitting behind me.

It doesn't take much intelligence to figure out what happens next, does it?

_Thunk. Thunk. Thunk. _

For the third time in five minutes, I turned around in my seat, and glared long and hard at the sniggering, wholly annoying outline of James bloody Potter.

"Do. You. MIND?" I snarled through clenched teeth, making Black lean over his desk and bite into his knuckles in a fresh wave of suppressed sniggers. Potter blinked 'innocently' at me.

"It was him!" he whispered, in his 'sincere' voice, pointing a finger at Black, who straightened up at once to blink innocently as well.

"Don't listen to him! It was _him_!" he hissed at me, nodding gravely. I narrowed my eyes at the pair of them.

"I don't give a sod _who's _doing it," I snapped in a whisper, "Just _stop kicking my effing chair_!"

"I try to stop him," sighed Potter, unable to keep his infuriating smirk off his face, "But he just won't listen to me!"

As I rolled my eyes and turned around, I thought I heard Black mutter something to him, and then both of them (quietly) cracked up. Angrily, I pushed my hair out of my eyes and glared up at the wrinkly Professor Binns as he continued to drone onwards in his lecture. 'Merlin,' I pleaded silently, 'Please, for once, let him notice no-one is listening. Let him take pity on our bored souls and let us go early. That is all I ask.'

_Thunk. _

Ignoring it, I carried on. 'I will always listen attentively in every single HoM lesson from now on if you do.'

_Thunk. _

'I will be extra nice to Professor Binns, and not laugh at his wrinkly ears behind his back.'

_Thunk. _

'I will take copious notes - '

_Thunk. _

'- and study really hard for the exam - '

_Thunk. _

' – and…'

_Thunk. _

' – and...'

_Thunk. _

' – and…MURDER BLOODY POTTER!'

With a shriek like a banshee, I grabbed the first thing that came to hand (Marlene's pencil case) whipped round, and threw it as hard as I could at the messy haired GIT otherwise known as James Potter.

Merlin, how I was looking forward to watching that pink, fluffy pencil case strike Potter square in the forehead (WHACK!) and bounce elegantly into Black's eye (POW!) then watch and laugh as the pair of them fell to the floor, unconscious. (SLAM!)

Pity it missed.

Pity it soared straight over their heads.

Pity it went bouncing straight off Severus Snape's head, making half the class laugh at him and making him give me the nastiest glare in the history of the universe.

Damn, did I feel bad.

But on the plus side, at least it made Binns wake up from his lecture filled sleep to give me a detention. I mean, at least it gave everyone else a break from listening to him.

They all laughed at me instead.

I am hating Potter so much right now; I think it may have become the centre of my life.


	5. Detention or not?

Marlene had decided to keep me company as I was forced to write out, time and time again, 'I must not throw stationary at my fellow class mates.' Wow, Binns was getting original at making up his detentions. I bet he sat around in his office for _ages _thinking that one up. Anyway, he hadn't turned up to supervise me yet, so I had started without him, with Marlene 'helping' me.

"So, (chomp, chomp, chomp) what made you (chomp, chomp, chomp) throw _my _pencil case at Snape?"

Grateful as I was for Marlene sitting through my detention with me, I really, really wished she wouldn't chew her pumpkin pasty right in my ear. And that she wouldn't keep repeating herself.

"I've told you," I growled as I began my fifty-first line, "I wasn't aiming at Snape, it was meant to hit _Potter_!"

"But why did you have to throw _my _pencil case?"

"Why not!"

Marlene didn't have anything to say to that. She just stared reproachfully at me as she took another massive bite of her pasty (scattering pastry crumbs as she did so.) Thanking Merlin for the sudden silence, I ended my fifty second line and began the next.

"It will have grease all over it now."

"Huh?" I mumbled, concentrating on spelling 'stationary' correctly. Trust me, by then it didn't look like a real word any more.

"My pencil case. It will have grease all over it."

"Marlene," I said, looking up from my parchment to glare at her, "Much as I am fascinated to hear about the greasiness of your pencil case, you are putting me off. Talk to me when I've finished all two hundred lines."

She got a bit shirty at that, for some reason. "Well fine then," Marlene huffed and puffed, "I just won't bother talking at all then, shall I?"

"That would be good, actually," I muttered, re-loading my quill with ink. And the next thing I knew, she had jumped off the desk she was sitting on, picked up her bag with a loud 'hmph!" and stormed out the classroom, banging the door behind her. I was left alone. Alone.

"Alone!" I mumbled to myself, but nonetheless, bravely struggled onwards with my lines. After all, I only had…one hundred and forty eight left. Not that many when you think about it. Cough

Anyway, as I sat there with my wrist aching, my eyes burning and whatnot, I hear the door swing back open again, which made me jump out of my skin.

"Marlene, thank God you came back!" I exclaimed loudly, turning around in my seat. Only unfortunately, it wasn't Marlene. It wasn't Professor Binns, either.

It was Potter.

"_You_!" I spat, taking in his grinning face and looking over his shoulder to see where Black was. "What are you doing here?"

He only grinned wider and just strolled right in, like he had every right to be there. "Just come to see how my Snape-tormenting-partner is doing," he said casually, leaning against the wall and watching me with laughing eyes. I ground my teeth, but decided it was best to just ignore him, and carried on with trudging out my lines.

"That was a really excellent shot, by the way," he carries on, "Couldn't have aimed better myself. I think he might have a bruise there tomorrow, if we're lucky."

That did it.

"If _we're _lucky?" I ground out, keeping my eyes fixed on my parchment, "What are you talking about, Potter?"

"Well," I saw him shrug, out the corner of my eye, "By 'we', I mean you and me."

Was he for real? Did he honestly think I had _meant _to throw Marlene's stupid pencil case at Snape?

"Don't ever put the words 'you' and 'me' together in the same sentence again, Potter!" I snarled. I heard him give a low chuckle.

"There are so many things I could say to that, Evans, but I'm just not going to."

"Great comeback," I said sarcastically. Wonderful – now I had written 'I must not throw comeback' on my lines. Furiously, I crossed it out and started again.

As I concentrated on keeping my writing neat, I didn't hear him walk up behind me and sit down on the desk directly behind my chair. In fact, I only noticed he had moved at all when I felt it, the shuddering 'thunk' and jolt that had tormented me throughout the History of Magic lesson.

"Oh, Evans, Evans, Evans," he said lazily, with another added 'thunk' for impact, "You are so naïve. So innocent. It's quite amusing to watch."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I snapped, trying to ignore the extra 'thunk' shuddering up my chair legs. I could almost see him smirking at the back of my head. Distractedly, I re-filled my quill.

"You've never had a det' with Binns before, have you?" he inquired, now whacking his foot into the back of my chair repeatedly, "Actually, no, scratch that. You've never had a detention at _all _before. No wonder…"

"No wonder what?" I snarled, trying desperately to maintain a hold on my temper. My fingers were itching to just get hold of my wand, point it at his head and say…

"Well, if you'd had a det' with him before, then you would know." He laughed.

"Know _what_?"

He got up, and leant over, putting his mouth close to my ear. "You would know," he whispered, causing goose-bumps on my neck and tiny shivers to roll down my spine, "That Binns never actually turns up for his detentions. He just forgets all about them. You've been sitting here, wasting your time…"

He laughed softly into my face, then got up and walked away. "See you tomorrow, Evans," he said at the doorway, then went, closing the door after him.

I just sat in shocked silence, staring at the wall. No way. He had to be lying. Binns wouldn't just forget about his own detentions.

Would he?


	6. Oversleeping

The common room was almost empty by the time I stumbled back in through the portrait at around half eleven, absolutely exhausted and with the bags under my eyes to prove it. After Potter had made that oh-so helpful little statement to me I had proceeded to write another fifty lines in which Binns still hadn't turned up, got angry, threw the parchment at the wall and stormed out in a fit of rage (after picking up the parchment again and chucking in the bin on my way out.)

Well! What kind of a teacher does that, anyway?

And why didn't Potter tell me SOONER, for Merlin's sake?

I hated him. I hated him. I BLOODY HATED HIM!

So, when I stamped through the common room muttering darkly to myself, I wasn't exactly enthralled to hear this lazy drawl say: "So you finally decided to believe Jamesie then, Evans?"

It was stupid Black, accompanied by stupid Potter, and their stupid friends who I didn't know. I stood stock still and glared at him, trying to burn out his eyes with the fire in mine.

Unfortunately, like I discovered last time, it didn't have much of an effect. Black only put two fingers up by the sides of his head and imitated a bull, barking hysterically as he did it. God, he has such an annoying laugh. Sounds like a bloody dog.

"You know, normal people actually laugh when they find something funny," I said icily, making him stare at me in confusion. I walked away in triumph. Let him figure out the hidden insult later. I thought I heard one of them snigger slightly as I ascended the stairs, and smiled as I flopped face first into my pillow. It seemed one of them had got it.

The next morning, I woke up to the less than lovely sight of a view directly up Marlene's nose.

"Lily!" she was yelling into my ear. "LILY!"

"Bloody HELL, Marlene," I croaked out, sitting up so fast she had to leap out the way so we didn't crack foreheads. "What's your problem?"

She stared at me with what looked like something close to amazement in her eyes. "I've been trying to wake you up for five minutes now!"

"Whoop-dee-do, five whole minutes," I muttered sarcastically, kneading my knuckles into my eyes. "So what's with the yelling and screaming?"

She rolled her eyes at that. "You've overslept. Breakfast will finish in about fifteen minutes."

"WHADT?" I'd never jumped out of bed so fast in my life. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I did," she replied, inspecting her nails as I tore around the room, looking for a clean pair of socks. "You told me to piss off and rolled over."

Throwing dignity to the winds, I ripped my nightshirt over my head while I had only my underwear on, and ran about in the half-nude as I rummaged around for bra and tee-shirt. "When have you ever taken anything I say in my sleep seriously?" I cried, tossing various clothes over my shoulder as I practically tore the drawer apart. "You know I sleep-talk!"

She blinked over at me, all innocently. "Lily, when _you_ tell someone to piss off, I think you'll find they take it very seriously. Especially when you're screaming at them, and start chucking pillows into the bargain."

Moody cow. She always exaggerates.

Anyway, ten minutes later found us both running down the stairs, my hair standing out about a foot around my head in a tangled _bush, _Marlene holding my shoes and comb while I knotted up my tie, and a couple of fourth years laughing hysterically at us as we scrambled by.

"I'm glad you find it so bloody funny!" I snapped at them, before swearing loudly as I mucked up my tie. That only made them laugh louder. Cows.

As we reached the bottom step, I was hopping on one foot trying to fit a shoe onto the wrong foot (only, of course, I didn't know that at the time) and Marlene was attempting to rake through my tangles as I did this, which was rather difficult as I was jumping up and down like a blooming jack in the box. Result was, she kept poking me painfully in the scalp with my comb, which did wonders to improve my mood. Or not.

"Ow! Marlene!" That comb was damn _sharp_ when it was hitting you repeatedly in the head.

"Well, if you'd just keep still!"

"How can I do that, I'm putting my shoes on!" In frustration, I hurled my shoe across the room, which wasn't the best of ideas as there were several people in there at the time, and I don't think any of them would have appreciated my shoe sticking out of their forehead first thing in the morning. Luckily for me, however, it only bounced off the wall and landed on a sofa. Nice.

I groaned. "Now I have to go all the way over there. It's a Wednesday morning and I'm tired and hungry, Marlene. No-one cares."

"I care!" she goes, sounding all sincere and nice.

"No you don't!" I moaned, tears of self-pity welling up in my eyes. "If you cared, you'd have woken me up at a decent time this morning. But as it happens, you didn't. Everybody hates me. I have no friends."

"Lily!" Marlene sounded shocked. "Don't you dare say that! I've been your friend from the word go! Now stop pitying yourself and go pick up your shoe. What's wrong with you?"

That was just it. I didn't know what the hell was wrong with me. "I don't knoooOOOW!" I cried, stamping over to where my shoe lay. "It's just going to be one of those days, isn't it?" I picked it up and waved it in the air. "I mean, I've only been up for ten seconds and already everything's gone wrong. And it will be like that for the rest of the day." I lifted up my foot to slot it into my shoe, wobbled, lost my balance, fell over and whacked my head on the table. I looked up at Marlene. "See what I mean?"

She stared at me, bottom lip shaking for a moment, before bursting into hysterical laughter.

Yup. That's it. Yet another person to laugh at me that day. Just call me Lilbo the clown, why don't you.


	7. Soggy black stuff

"Now, remember, children: swish and flick, but this time with a slightly more _forceful _flick!"

I scowled in annoyance at the over-happy Professor Flitwick as he balanced on his stack of books, swishing and flicking to kingdom come. Why did he always have to look so damn cheerful about everything? And sound so excited? That little squeaky voice was driving me nuts. It would be so good to just hurl a shoe at his head and watch him fall to the floor, screaming…

Marlene poked her wand into my ribs. Was she insane? Did she _want _me to catch on fire?

"Do you want me to catch fire?" I snapped at her, batting her wand fiercely away with my hat. "What have I ever done to you?"

She raised an eyebrow at that, making me sigh in despair. Merlin, a little humour goes absolutely _nowhere _around her. It's like trying to squeeze water out of a desert. And I mean the sandy place with cacti, you fool, not the kind with ice cream you have after dinner.

Anyway.

"I was trying to make you concentrate!" she hisses back. "You were just sitting there staring at Flitwick!"

"Don't go getting any ideas," I warned her, and she stifled a laugh at my hilarity. Not. "What are we supposed to be doing, anyway?" I quizzed her, because everyone around us were swishing and flicking like windmills, but nothing actually seemed to be happening.

"Making objects levitate, then rotate and move around the classroom."

"Oh." Well, that seemed pretty simple. On the other side of the room, I could see Potter was leaning back in his chair to chat with Black, who was sat behind him. As I watched, they both cracked up laughing at something, then simultaneously turned to look at me. I clenched my jaw and stared at the heavy book in front of me. It would be so good to make that levitate, soar over to where Potter sat, then watch it gracefully smack into his head…I have very violent visions, don't I?

Next to me, Marlene had started her swishing and flicking jiggery-pokery. "_Alasto Meando_!" she cried dramatically, and what would you know? The book didn't go anywhere.

Looking determined, she tried again. "_Alasto Meando!_"

The book stayed on the desk. Frowning, she poked it with her wand, and it promptly set on fire.

Sweet nipples of Merlin.

"What are you doing?" I yelped, helpfully putting it out with a bit of water from my wand. I sat there and looked at her. "Are you trying to kill us all?"

She was shaking slightly. "I didn't mean to do that!" she whispered fearfully.

"Try telling Professor Flitwick that," I replied. Her face went white. We both knew how protective Flitwick gets over his books. Sometimes he has trouble letting go of them when he hands them out to us in lessons.

"Let me have a go," I said, deciding it was best to change the subject. Pointing my wand at the soggy, black 'book' I pushed all my concentration into my fingertips and said firmly: "_Alasto Meando_!"

Flipping heck. Not even I expected that. The book rose, dripping heavily, then just _hung there, _in mid air, as though waiting for my next command. Marlene's mouth was open. So was mine, for that matter. I mean, not bad for someone who wasn't even listening when the class began, eh?

Somehow, weirdly, I just knew what to do. I flicked my wand upwards, and the book went sailing up as well, as though pulled on a bit of string. I swung my wand to the right, the book slid smoothly through the air, in a perfectly straight line, to the opposite wall. A few people were shouting at me because it was dripping black stuff all over them, but I didn't care. I was entranced. It was…beautiful…the book was at my beck and call…of this one, burnt book, I was queen…I began making it drift casually over to where Potter sat…

"Miss Evans?"

Looking round, I lost my concentration and out the corner of my eye I saw the book drop like a stone. Someone yelped loudly, and the next thing I knew the entire class were laughing so loudly it hurt my ears. Dreading the worst, I looked around. And there, glaring angrily at me through glistening eyes, with a mound of solid black _stuff _on his head, sat Severus Snape, butt of everyone's joke yet again.

"I'm so sorry!" I mouthed at him, horrified, but it made no difference. He scowled horribly and tried to sweep it off his head, dumping it in disgust on his desk.

I felt like such a bitch. Especially when Black pinged a paper ball right at him as well, to add insult to, well, insult.

Not that I meant to insult him, that is…

Oh Merlin. Must make it up to him. Must make it up to him. Must make it up to him (but not in that way.)

0o0

**Hi guys! I'm here to say thanks SO MUCH for all the reviews you've been giving me so far. I was nearly knocked over backwards when I recied about thirteen reviews for one chapter. Hell, that was scary. **

**But come on, people. What is the deal with adding me to your author alert and then not reviewing? Hmm? DON'T YOU KNOW I THRIVE ON REVIEWS? I love them so much they do literally make me write. Especially if you tell me exactly what about my story you like so much. Or you tell me you found a bit funny. Just getting feedback reassures me that there are people out there who genuinely like my story and want more. **

**Bye bye for now. **

**Bubbles xxx**


	8. Meeting the Idiots

That evening I stayed in the library until past midnight, working on getting all of my homework done, then after realising the time, had to leg it back to the Gryffindor tower all on my own. Marlene had swanned off with Rio, a friend of hers from Divination (which she was stupid enough to take and I wasn't. I took Ancient Runes. Go me.) so I was all aloney, on my owney. As I sprinted along the corridor which I knew led vaguely in the direction of the common room, I heard voices coming towards me, so, being sensible, I stopped and flattened myself against the wall as it was pretty skinny corridor and it sounded like there were quite a few of them.

I only realised who it actually was when it was too late.

"Why, its Evans wee Evans!" drawled Black, spotting me as he came around the corridor, followed as ever by the two other guys I don't know the names of. Who _are _they, exactly? All they ever seem to do is hang around with Potter and Black and snigger when they insult people.

Hang on a second. Black, nameless guy A, other nameless guy B. Wasn't there someone missing out of that equation?

"Black," I responded coolly as they all drew to a halt in front of me, "Where's your bitch?"

He frowned. "My bitch?"

"You know. Potter."

He quirked an eyebrow at that. "Sorry, you confused me. I thought you were the only bitch around here."

"Confused is your natural state, Black," I bit back. (Oh yeah! Brilliant comeback, Lily! High five!)

Nameless guy A sniggered slightly at that, and I gave him my best 'prepare to die' look.

He stopped sniggering.

Black meanwhile, I was pleased to see, was still floundering way out at sea searching for a comeback that could beat mine. "Yeah? Yeah? Well…well, you're just a loser!" Was the best he could come up with.

The high level intelligence rate was starting to suffocate me. I decided to bring to conversation down a level.

"You never answered my question. Where is Potter?"

"For someone who supposedly hates James, you seem to be awfully interested in where he is," stated Nameless guy B in a bland sort of way. I looked at him.

"Who the hell ARE you?" I exploded, "All you ever do is stand there and not say anything! In fact, I think that's the first time I've ever heard you talk!"

Black creased up laughing. "Priceless. He's been here five years and you've never even heard him talk." He laughed harder. "I've told you you should speak up more, Moony!"

I looked at Nameless Guy B. "Your name is Moony?" I asked disbelievingly. Black went into a fresh wave of laughter. NGB smiled slightly.

"No, that's just what he calls me," he practically shouted over Black's laughter. "My actual name is Remus." He looked kind of hurt. "It's weird introducing yourself to a girl you've known for five years."

I arched an eyebrow at him. "So you're telling me you know who _I _am?"

He nodded. "Of course. You're Lily Evans. Top of Potions and Charms class."

Ok, that was downright odd. He knew my name.

And he still hadn't told me where Potter was.

"So…you were going to tell me why you've all ventured out without Potter?" I said in the first available gap in Black's insane barking.

I saw him and Moony exchange glances. Sorry – I can't stop calling him that now. Hope it doesn't slip out.

"Ask us no questions, Evans," said Black eventually after the _smallest _hesitation, "And we'll tell you no lies. Why does it matter to you, anyway?"

"It doesn't," I replied immediately. "I was just…curious."

Moony's eyes sparkled weirdly. Creep. "Curiosity killed the cat, Lily," he said softly, then looked round at Black. "We should go, Sirius."

"Yeah," he agreed, flashing the briefest grin at me, "See you later, Evans."

And with that, all three of them just walked off, leaving me to stand there and frown at the wall.

That had been extremely odd. What had Black meant, I mused, when he said "ask us no questions...and we'll tell you no lies'? Did that mean they were up to no good? I hesitated, squinting down the corridor at the corner they had disappeared behind. That Moony bloke had been decidedly weird as well. And they had all clammed up when I had asked about Potter. Like they had something to hide…

I turned to carry on with my path to the Gryffindor tower, but another thought bought me screeching to a halt. It was after curfew – well over it in fact. They were _definitely _up to no good.

Hmmm.

Now, Lily, lets not rush into anything here. Let's think about this logically. Don't do anything hasty. You have just seen Black, Moony and Thingy out for a late night stroll, probably going to meet Potter, they have just left around the corner, if you run you could catch them up, you could catch them in the act…

Before I knew it, I was running as fast as I could back up the corridor, determined to catch them up before I lost them.

**0o0**

**Hey dere. I love all you guys who reviewed last time! You are ALL wonderful. You should be proud of yourselves - you made me that much happier. But I have the tiniest request. It won't take you much time. Just before you review, scroll back up and choose one thing you liked about this chapter, then tell me about it. It doesn't have tobe poetry!Or about the story in general - it doesn't matter. Or just copy and paste a line you likedinto the review box. I love it when people do that! It makes me feel warm and mushy inside. I'm sorry if that's too much effort, but sometimes I can't tell if you've read the story at all. Telling me to to update isn't what motivates me y'know. And as for you gorgeouspeople who do that already...I LOVE YOU! (Tosses roses and chocolates)**

**Love and stuff, **

**Bubbles xx**


	9. Running away from the Idiots

By the time I had skidded around the end of the corridor, the three Potter wannabe's had disappeared from sight. Bum.

Cursing loudly, I started running down a sloping landing and whizzed around another corridor, just in time to see them disappear down a staircase. With a feral smile I ran nimbly forwards and stood quietly at the top of the stairs, watching them dismount. I could hear them laughing about something. Well, they wouldn't be laughing for much longer. Not when I caught them red-handed doing…whatever it was they were doing.

Oooh, I could just hear that Mission Impossible tune start up in my head as I tiptoed down the stairs after them, my back pressed to the wall, invisible gun in my hand…and then Moony turned around.

I swear to Merlin, my heart had never leapt so fast as it did when he suddenly stopped and spun around, looking _directly _up at me. I mean, like, what the bloody hell? I was being so quiet I couldn't even hear myself! But no…he had frozen at the bottom of the staircase, face pointed directly up at me, and, oh bugger, he had his wand raised as well.

My thought pattern at that moment in time was: "omigodhesgoingtokillmeandidontwanttodiesomeonehelpmearrraaaaaaaaahhghh!"

So, as you can see, I was prone to act quite rationally.

I watched as Moony muttered something to Black, then to Thingy, then they all started coming back _up _the stairs, directly towards me.

Oh come on. What would you have done? Stepped boldly out of the shadows, let out a warrior cry and shot curses at them?

I don't think so. I mean, that's what would I would have liked to have done, but really, that's just not me.

I let out one, petrified _squeak _and turned tail and bolted back up the stairs, in plain view of them, tripped over when I got to the top, squeaked again, then carried on running. I was running so fast if I stopped I would fall over, and my feet were thundering along landing after landing, up staircase after staircase…I was convinced I could hear them all behind me, brandishing their guns and yelling stuff after me…Gryffindor tower was getting closer, I knew it, I was getting there, to safety…

Only as I was streaking like lightning down that corridor, I suddenly heard this deafening "AIEEEEEEEEEEOOOOWWWW!" from in front of me, and in horror, I looked up and saw the small, damning outline of the caretakers cat, Mrs Norris, wailing for all the world to hear, her yellow eyes fixed maliciously on me.

I didn't even stop to think. One second I was just desperately running, my chest heaving and with stitches in my sides, the next second I had my wand in my hand and I shouted "STUPEFY!" at her with all the breath I had left.

Mrs Norris crumpled to the floor, motionless.

I skidded to halt before the portrait. The Fat Lady opened her eyes and stared suspiciously at me.

"Well, if _you're _out after hours, then we know all hope is lost," she sighed, smoothing down her dress (does she ever get sick of being so damn Professor-like? I mean, all she is is a painting!) and eyeing me wearily. "Password?"

"Bu…Buttercup Muffins!" I choked out, and scrambled inside when she swung forward. I collapsed into a couch in front of the dying fire. The common room was deserted.

Oh my God.

I had just shot Mrs Norris.

I had abused an animal.

Come to think of it, would a cat even survive a stunning curse? What if the force of my spell had actually killed her? What if she was lying out there, dead? Oh my God. I was a cat murderer. I would be expelled from Hogwarts. Would they send me to Azkaban for accidentally stunning a cat dead? Merlin, I could see the headlines now: 'Evans the Evil Kills Karetaker's Kitty." My name would be mud for the rest of my life…I would be left in my prison cell to rot…maybe Potter would visit me sometimes, to laugh in my face…

I was running through the corridors of Hogwarts again…people were chasing after me…I heard Mrs Norris wail, then a gun-shot…

"Lileeeeeeee…."

The bleeding Mrs Norris had morphed into Marlene, who was smiling scarily at me and brandishing a newspaper. Good Lord.

"Lileeeeeeeee…"

For the second time in two days, I was treated to a lovely view up Marlene's nose first thing in the morning.

"Alright, calm down, I'm up," I mumbled, rolling over and feeling faintly surprised when I fell and hit the floor with a thump.

"Ow."

Too tired to move, I lay there with my face in the carpet and closed my eyes again. Mmmm, sleep…lovely…

"You must have fallen asleep down here last night," came Marlene's annoying voice, directly above my head. "What were you doing, homework?"

"Hrrruffghmph," I told the floor, hoping that Marlene understood that as: "Bugger off and leave me alone."

Sadly, she didn't. "Sorry, what was that?" she chirped cheerily. Giving up, I rolled over and squeaked slightly as blinding daylight shot into my eyes through the window next to me.

"Nothin' much," I muttered, climbing with difficulty to my feet and leaning heavily on the wall. Bloody hell, it must have been a wacky night last night for me to feel this bad. If only I could remember…

And then, unfortunately, all of last nights gory details came flooding back into my mind. Groaning, I buried my head in my hands as Marlene started rabbiting away about what she was going to do today.

"Marlene, do me a favour and shut up for a while, yeah?" I croaked out miserably. Oh God. I had just remembered Mrs Norris. Marlene, bless her, took that as her cue to get all mother-like. Standing with her hands on her hips, her sternest expression on her face (which actually reminds me of a constipated giraffe) and fire blazing in her eyes, she goes, all seriously:

"Have you been drinking?"

"Oh, _yes, _Marlene," I snapped back, "With Potter in fact. While we had sex. All night long. In a cupboard."

The frown turned to a look of horror. "You didn't!"

I gave her a long, hard look. "I'm going to take a shower now," I said slowly, "And when I come back I want you to have found your brain and restored it to your head. Ok?"

At her blank stare, I rolled my eyes and stamped moodily up the stairs. It was going to be a long day.

**0o0o0o0**

**Reviewers...I love you all...velly velly mucho. You have no idea what you did for my ego, 'Badger', when you said you'd be using that quote for the rest of your life. I'm pretty sure you won't, but it wasgreat to hear. Thank you! **

**And, like last time, if you liked any particular line in this chapter, or have any questions and/or complaints, stick it in your review. Buttercup muffins to you all!**

**Bubbles xxx**


	10. The Sad Travesty of the Great Hall

By the time I had come back down the stairs, I had clean hair, nice smelling skin, and a cleared out head. Suddenly, I was feeling a lot more optimistic about the whole thing. After all, that wasn't any innocent cat I had stunned last night. That had been Mrs Norris, as in, _Mrs Norris, _the cat almost every rule breaker there is longs to give a good kicking. And I had done what they had never dared to do. Feeling slightly heady at the thought, I grinned confidently at Marlene as I strutted my way to breakfast. I was a rebel. Watch out, world, and lock up your cats, Lily Evans has come to town.

So wrapped up as I was in my own thoughts I didn't see Professor McGonagall until I nearly walked into her. Ready to spread the love, I called out to her cheerily, "Morning, Miss!"

"Tuck your shirt in," she snapped back, striding straight past.

Which is what you get for trying to be friendly once in a while. "What's up her arse?" I muttered to Marlene, who only shrugged. Raising my eyebrows and deciding to shrug it off, I continued to step my merry way to breakfast, chatting happily all the way. I didn't even notice everyone laughing and whispering excitedly to each other on the way there. I only gave Black the merest glance when I spotted him and Potter high-fiving each other. In fact, I only realised something was up when I saw several teachers outside the Great Hall doors with their wands drawn, turning people away.

"What the hell?" I muttered, as me and Marlene sped up to get a closer look. A small group of people were gathered before the teachers, who were all shaking their heads and looking severely stressed out. Professor Flitwick, standing on a stool and pointing his wand threateningly at a bunch of indignant second years, caught sight of us.

"Miss Evans!" he called out shrilly, bouncing on the balls of his feet to gain attention, "Miss Evans, over here immediately!"

The bottom dropped out of my stomach. Marlene was looking at me with her mouth open. "Oh my Gawd, Lily, what have you done?" she hissed, as we both pushed our way through the twelve year olds. I couldn't even answer. My heart had left my chest and was thumping its way somewhere around my ankles. Ohhhhhhhmiiiiiiiiiigoddddddddd…

Professor Flitwick was able to look me in the eye so high was his stool when I approached him. Brilliant. "Yes, Professor?" I squeaked, sounding like a female version of him.

Flitwick jabbed his thumb over his shoulder. "All Prefects are to go in there!" he said shortly, firing off a stream of sparks at an eleven year old boy. "Yes, well, you shouldn't have tried to get through, should you?" he snapped as the boy burst into tears and ran off, howling.

"Professor, what…?"

"Miss Evans, I have no time to talk to you about it!" Flitwick practically shrieked, looking almost hysterical. "Just go into the Great Hall! Alone!" He added to last part threateningly to Marlene, who immediately backed away, looking terrified. Feeling pretty damn intimidated myself, I edged around Professor Sinistra, who was looking close to tears as well, and slipped around the huge doors, careful to close them after me.

The Great Hall stretched out before me, looking strangely much larger and emptier than I remembered it to be. Frowning, I took a step forwards, then made the mistake of looking upwards. I vaguely felt my jaw drop. Somehow, _incredibly,_ all four gigantic house tables were stuck, legs first, to the dome-like ceiling overhead. And that was only the beginning. As I strained my eyes and walked zombie-like forwards, I could see there were words painted over each table. In flashing colours.

"Cheese is for life, not just for Christmas!" proclaimed the one which looked like it could have been the Ravenclaw table, while another cheerfully had, in screaming pink, three foot wide letters: "Take it from us: snorting Floo Powder will ruin your life." Each table was packed with the stupidest sayings I had ever come across in my life, and each individual letter was eye-watering orange, neon yellow, flashing red, gold, silver, indigo…

The overall effect? Was giving me a headache.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed someone approach me. Dragging my jaw off up the ground, I managed to tear my eyes away from the sad travesty of our old Great Hall ceiling, and looked round at the person.

It was Moony.

"Hi, Lily," he said, not quite looking me in the eye and shifting from one foot to the other.

I could only blink at him for a full minute, before my brain finally caught up with my mouth. "Oh, hi, er, er…" Dang and blast, what was his real name again? Something beginning with R, wasn't it? Robert? Russell? Richard? Oh, for God's sake. "Hi!" I compromised, hoping he wouldn't ask me if I remembered his name. "You alright?" Don't be so stupid, Lily. He won't suddenly demand: "What's my name?" We are fellow Prefects. Obviously I know these things.

He looked stunned. "Fine, thanks."

We looked at each other in silence for a moment. Finally I gestured up at the ceiling. "This is pretty wild, isn't it?"

He looked, if it were possible, even more gobsmacked. "Yeah…pretty…" he swallowed. "Wild. Yeah."

What was the matter with him?

"I mean," I twittered lamely on, "Who could possibly have done this?"

"Uh," he replied intelligently. "Not sure."

Is it any wonder I didn't know his name until last night? I opened my mouth to say something witty and interesting, but then suddenly, something hit me. Last night. I got his name from last night.

_Last night!_

"You!" I cried, my eyes pinging wide open and bugging out of their sockets (mmm, attractive) "You did this!"

He glanced around nervously. Damn right he should look nervous! I had caught him red handed! "Lily, please, keep your voice down!"

"AND WHY SHOULD I DO THAT?" I screamed at him, and he took a step backwards, looking shocked. He pulled himself back together pretty damn quickly, unfortunately.

"Because you can't tell on us," he replied quietly, "Otherwise you'll get yourself into trouble. You know that, don't you?"

"_Excuse me_?" I said incredulously, "But I'm not the one who spent all of last night gluing our house tables to the ceiling!"

"No," he agreed, those stupid eyes sparkling creepily again, "But you were out after hours last night, as well. Who's to say you _didn't _take part in this, other than yourself?"

I stared at him, unable to believe it. "But I didn't!"

"You know that. I know that. But Professor McGonagall wouldn't, if you took the matter to her. Face it, Lily; we were all doing something against the rules last night."

Don't you just hate cryptic people? "So what are you trying to say?" I snapped, suddenly wishing I had never caught sight of them last night.

"Just a simple 'you don't tell on us, we won't tell on you' theory."

I stood there looking at him, my mind working overtime. Suddenly I felt furious. Bloody hell! He was right! I couldn't tell on them without them telling on me. So I had to keep my trap shut and he knew it as well, judging by the wide smile he was giving me.

"Deal?" he asked softly. I didn't even bother with a reply. I simply turned on my heel and stormed off to a teacher to see what I could do to help.

Oh, Moony might think he was all big and clever now. But he should just wait. He had just added himself, along with Potter, to my personal hit-list, and being on the hit-list of Lily Evans is a dangerous thing. A very dangerous thing indeed.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

**Sweet fluffy muffins. Have you any idea how much I smiled in delight when I recieved all of your kind reviews? No? Well, let me give you an idea. My grin was about THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS wide. I LOVE ALL OF YOU! Even those of you who lurk mysteriously below the surface, reading but never reviewing. I was very happy to get your appreciative psychic vibes (sarcastic cough) to let me know how much you liked my story. **

**Love to all of you reading this, **

**Bubbles xxx**


	11. No Morning Coffee

I couldn't help it. I was angry. I was mortified. I was ready to stand on a podium in the middle of the Great Hall and scream "POTTER AND HIS CRONIES DID THIS!" …but, obviously, I couldn't. Not with Moony Washisface's eyes on me, following my every move. I wanted to march up to him and punch his bloody lights out. I mean, how _dare _he outsmart me?

And you know what the really annoying thing was? I couldn't say one bleeding thing about it. Not one…effing…thing. I was apoplectic with rage. (Yeh-hes, Lily! Big word! Go me!)

And I was hungry, because, thanks to Potter and Company, breakfast was being missed that day due to obvious problems. And trust me, a Lily who has missed her morning coffee is an _angry _Lily.

So it wasn't surprising that Marlene flinched when she saw my thunderous face move towards her an hour later, outside Transfiguration. "What's wrong?" she asked instantly.

"Nothing," I replied darkly, as we all lined up outside McGonagall's classroom.

"Oh, come off it, Lily! The last time you had a face like that was when you had PMS last month and you discovered I'd eaten all your chocolate…"

Someone behind us sniggered, and I felt my face flare up. "_Thank _you for that!" I snarled at Marlene, who only grinned inanely back. Merlin, just wait until _she_ had PMS. I would tie her to a chair and eat all of her chocolate in front of her face…

"So tell me what's wrong!" she goes, all concernedly, trying to link her arm into mine. "Is it anything to do with whatever happened in the Great Hall?"

"You might say that," I replied stiffly, shaking her arm free of mine. You might well say that indeed.

Before Marlene could make any more of her helpful (ha!) comments, McGonagall opened the door and snapped at us to come inside. Her hair looked dreadful. Guess she didn't get her morning coffee, either. I tried to give her a sympathetic smile as we all filed past her, and her bulging eyes glared at me.

"What are you smirking at, Miss Evans?"

"N-nothing!" I stuttered out in reply, startled.

"Well get a move on then! Go on! In! And tuck your shirt in!"

What is her obsession with tucked in shirts, for crying out loud! Growling, I stomped over to my usual place next to Marlene, only another ringing command fromThe Crazed One stopped me in my tracks. "Just a second, Miss Evans! There has been a slight change in the seating plan."

I stared at Marlene, who shrugged back at me. What was she talking about? Seating plan? We don't HAVE a seating plan. Confused, I turned around and looked quizzically at the messy-haired McGonagall, who immediately eyeballed my loose shirt. I hastily drew my robes around myself. "What do you mean, Professor?" I asked as politely as I could.

She glared at me all the same. "Swap seats with Mr Black please!"

I looked blankly at her. "Change places with Black?" I revolved slowly on my toes and caught sight of Marlene's horrified face. Looked like she would have to put up with Black for a while. But who was I destined to sit next to? Praying it was no-one horrible, I found Black's dark haired head and looked at the person sitting next to him.

Oh, for God's sake. Not him AGAIN!

"Professor!" I cried, whirling back around and gazing imploringly at McGonagall, "I can't sit next to him, I'm sorry, but I can't! Please let me remain where I am!"

I swear her nostrils went white. "I'm sorry, Miss Evans," she hissed, her eyes steely, "But who is the teacher in this classroom?"

"Professor, I didn't mean it li - "

"DON'T ANSWER BACK, GIRL! SIT WHERE I TELL YOU TO! THIS IS MY CLASSROOM, AND I _WILL BE RESPECTED_!"

"ALRIGHT, KEEP YOUR WIG ON!" I _didn't _yell back at her, but I damn well wanted to. Almost crying with rage, I made my way over to Black and Potter, and addressed Black's eyebrow. The pair of them was in fits of silent laughter.

"I have to sit here," I mumbled, resolving to kick him in the balls if he daredmake any kind of fuss. "Move."

Surprisingly, he didn't say a word as he scooped up his bag and walked over to Marlene, but I saw his face as he passed me. I sincerely hoped he wet himself, I thought savagely as I sat down in Black's vacated seat. Potter lounged back in his chair and sighed "Good God" as I put my books and quill on the table with shaking hands. Trying to ignore him, I added my ink-bottle to my desk, then slammed my bag on the floor and gazed intently at the black board.

Potter, however, clearly wasn't looking for an easy life. "Blue ink," he commented, picking up my ink bottle and twirling it round in his fingers.

"Oh, well done," I snarled back, snatching it away from him. He quirked an amused eyebrow at me.

"No need to be rude."

"No need to touch my stuff!"

"Miss Evans, DO BE QUIET!"

Shockingly enough, that wasn't Potter, but a very pissed off looking McGonagall. Snapping my neck back around I stared at her, totally appalled at the un-fairness of it all. I mean, for God's sake, couldn't she SEE Potter talking as well? Or were her glasses set on Lilyvision today, so she could only see me?

I hated her. I hated this class. But most of all, I hated Potter.

As the class settled down and quiet fell over most of us, McGonagall strode up to the front of the class, her hair looking like a birds nest gone wrong. She gave no sign she knew about that, however, as she slammed her briefcase down on her desk, ripped a piece of chalk out of its packet and stood holding it like a sword as she surveyed all of us. Then she gave a snort through her long, white nose and chalked up on the board: "REVISION: ANIMAGI"

Out the corner of my eye, I saw Potter smirk and fidget slightly. God knows why.

"Seeing as you will be sitting your OWLs at the end of this year," snarled McGonagall at us, spraying spit all over the front row, "We will be going over human transfiguration again." She glared at us as though daring someone to protest. ("No, Professor! I refuse to revise human transfiguration!") "Who can tell me what is required in the process of becoming an animagus?"

Oh, crap. I remembered this topic now. Never understood it. Potter's hand, however, pointed lazily in the air.

"Mr Potter?"

"You need to make a Jhoobanian potion."

A what?

"Excellent, Potter. Five points to Gryffindor." WHADT? She had just given POINTS to the bloke who had trashed the Great Hall, and put her in this mood. Oh, the irony of it all. "Can anyone tell me what the key properties of the Jhoobian potion are?"

This time Black put his hand in the air. "Liquid amethyst," I heard him drawl out behind me, "And Fluxweed which has been picked on the night of a lunar eclipse."

"Very well done!" McGonagall looked astonished, my feelings exactly. I mean, it's not every day Black and Potter actually bother answering questions in class. "Another five points to Gryffindor!"

Grrr.

"One last question," she continued, looking a lot more cheerful now, thanks to Black and Potter (oh, the IRONY) "What is the incantation which must be uttered the first time a wizard transforms himself into his designated animal?"

Hang on. I knew this one. Raising my hand tentatively into the air, I tried not to quail in terror as she turned her laser beam onto me.

"Yes, Miss Evans?"

"Um…is it: 'Nervier Latimer?'"

Potter snorted loudly, and even McGonagall seemed to suppress a smile. "Good try, Miss Evans, but not quite right, I'm afraid. Would anyone like to help out?"

"It's: 'Neuvore Latamora,'" said Potter loudly, without raising his hand. I heard him snigger and mutter "_Nervier Latimer_!" under his breath. McGonagall beamed at him.

"Wonderful, Mr Potter!" I waited for her to reprimand him about not raising his hand. She never did. She just kept on going with her exciting (cough) lesson. I resisted the urge to groan and bury my head in my hands. This was turning out to be one of the worst weeks in the world.

Eventually McGonagall decided to set us some textbook questions (oooh, _someone's _feeling original today) and, because the Powers That Be decided to have a laugh and wind me up even more that day, the textbooks had to be shared one between two.

I set my teeth and growled, just once, to relieve the stress. It didn't help. Potter, thank God, didn't notice, and only yanked the book over to his side of the desk like he hadn't heard anything. He then set it open at the right page, right in front of him, and started writing. Needless to say, I couldn't see a bloody thing in the book.

Hmmm. Think, Lily. How to settle this in a calm, mature, adult way?

WHACK.

"OUCH!"

Potter glared at me as he nursed the swelling red bump where I had smacked him one with the book. Flashing him a smug smile, I set the book down in front of my parchment, and began work.

He didn't like that very much. "Professor!" he called, raising his hand. "Professor McGonagall! Evans just hit me with the textbook, Miss, and now she won't give it back!"

Oh no. Oh – bloody _hell_. McGonagall was approaching me with a look similar to that of an executioner. Not that I've ever met an executioner. "Is this true, Miss Evans?" she asked, red dots going boing-dee-boing in her eyes.

"Er…yeah," I muttered reluctantly. Well, I couldn't exactly deny it when I had practically given Potter concussion. She smiled grimly, and said one word.

"Detention."

My heart hit the floor with a messy _phut_.

0o0o0o0o0

**Oh, poor Lilykins. Is there anyone out there who has been forced to sit next to someone they hate before? Or are me and Lily the only ones? I had to sit next to a right &£!$! in a maths lesson today. But on the bright side, I don't have to put up with him again until next Tuesday...**

**TWENTY REVIEWS LAST TIME, PEOPLE! TWENTY! (Does back flips) That's the most this story has ever recieved! I love all of you. I know I have said that a lot, but it's true. IdoIdoIdoIdo-ooo! **

**Special mention to 'Harold' who is no longer a non review lurker. YAY FOR YOU! May many others follow in your example. **

**Starfish and rainbows to all of you, **

**Bubbles xxx **


	12. Dreaded Dungbombs

The next morning, I woke up feeling like poo.

Honestly. There was just no other word to describe it. I peeled open my eyelids and rolled over, shivering slightly even though I was sweating. Opening my mouth, I attempted to talk but all that came out was a weird sounding croak. My throat – Merlin, let's not even get started on how raw and swollen my throat felt. I tried calling out for Marlene.

"Mar!" I called as loudly as I could, but all that came out was a tiniest whisper. I cleared my throat (which felt like someone was scraping a fork down my gullet) and had another go.

"Marlene!"

I sounded horribly nasal now. My head swam slightly as I attempted to sit up, my body feeling like a sack of lead, and I snuffled miserably when no-one came. Oh, god. I was dying. McGonagall had poisoned me in my detention with her yesterday. She must have slipped it into the polish when I wasn't looking. My eyes filled up with tears as I wondered how Marlene would manage without me. Oh, God, my life was wasted! I hadn't even reached sixteen! I would die a virgin. I hadn't evened _tasted _fire whiskey. Why hadn't I done something rebellious when I had the chance? I could have ran around the school naked if I had known yesterday was my last day on earth. I tried calling out one last time, desperate for Marlene to be by my side as I spoke my last words.

"MAR!" Ouch – bloody hell, that hurt. It had done the trick though, as Marlene bounced up from God-knows-where and stood beaming down at me as I lay dying on my bed.

"GOOD morning, sunshine!"

I was starting to regret calling her. Merlin, she was never unhappy. When they cart me out in my coffin I swear she'll be smiling and saying cheerfully: "Ah, well, never mind, who's for a cuppa?" My eyes filled with tears again. God, I would miss her.

"Mar, I'm dying. I want you to have my clothes and jewellery," I just about managed to croak out. My chest gave a wheezy rattle. "Tell my family I love them loads. Say thanks a lot to all my Professors for teaching me, but make sure they sack McGonagall, because she killed me, you see."

"Lily, what are you talking about?" Marlene bent down, putting her face right up close to mine. "Do you have a cold?"

Cold? She though this was a COLD?

"No, I told you, I'm dying!" I went into a hacking cough. Marlene raised her eyebrows.

"Riiiiight," she goes, "Do you think you can survive long enough to get to the Hospital Wing?"

I shook my head sadly. She was still in denial. "Marlene, that's very sweet, but you forget. No spell can bring back the dead. I love you very much. Slap Potter for me…"

It was getting harder to talk. My eyes were starting to drag closed. The world faded away…

…and then someone was shaking me, calling out my name. "Miss Evans? Miss Evans?"

Did all angels sound like Madam Pomfrey? Or was she some twisted form of the devil? Reluctantly, I opened my eyes and stared blearily at the blurred outline of the healers stupid white hat. "Am I dead?"

I heard her chuckle. "No, but you do have the flu. Just sit there while I find you some Pepper-Up potion, then you should be feeling much better."

I wriggled slightly as I heard her rummage around in something, then looked about me. I was still in the dormitory, and I could just see Katy, one of my room-mates, peering interestedly at me out of the corner of my eye.

I glared at her. "Bugger off."

She looked mildly offended. "I was only concerned!"

"I don' need yow pity," I slurred, wanting to slump back into my pillows and fall asleep forever, but Pomfrey chose that moment to violently grab hold of my head and force a load of honking potion into my mouth. Merlin – she is BRUTAL, that woman. I wouldn't be surprised if she was a gorilla in a previous life. After choking and nearly hurling the lot over my bed, I managed to gulp it down, and surprisingly felt a lot better. Like all the fog had been pushed out my head.

Katy giggled at me. "Your ears are steaming!"

I gave her a withering look. "Shut up." Tentatively, I pulled my legs out of my tangle of blankets and rested my feet on the floor, and then stood up. Hooray! No spinning room! Three cheers for Pepper-Up Potion and the gorilla woman! I gave Madam Pomfrey a smile as she packed away her potions, and she gave a curt nod in reply as she swept out of the room.

"Yes, thank you for being such an obliging patient, Miss Evans! Not at all, Madam Pomfrey! I feel much better now! Good morning!" Katy gave me a strange look as she picked up her brush and started running it through her bouncy blond hair, rolling her eyes at me in the mirror.

"You're so weird, Lily," she sighed loudly, "You do know talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity, right?"

I was stung. "Yeah, well, you do know that…that brushing your hair… is the first sign of loserness?" Oh, class, Lily, just class. What a wonderful insult. She was sure going to regret messing with me after that. Right on cue, Katy started giggling.

"_Loserness?_" she repeated, thunking down her brush and striding out the door, "Yes, Lily. Of course." She went downstairs, still laughing away to herself.

She was faking it. She was crying on the inside, I bet you anything.

A shower soon spring-cleaned my head for me, and three quarters of an hour later I had made my way into the common room, hair dripping wet and making a damp patch on my robes. Alright, don't panic, it was a _Saterday, _ok? Feeling moderately happy with the way things were turning out, I looked around for Marlene, couldn't see her, so I grabbed a magazine no-one was reading from the table and flopped down into an armchair with it.

"_Ten X Rated Make-Up Secrets Never Revealed – Now Revealed_!" Ah, well, that sounded interesting. Or not.

"_Black lipstick – striking or ugly?" _Maybe for McGonagall, but black lipstick just isn't my idea of – er – strikingness, ta.

"_Celestina Warbeck answers the top 100 questions **you **have always wanted to ask!" _Celestina who? Sounds like some kind of vegetable.

Why would I want to ask 100 questions to a vegetable?

Whose magazine _was _this?

"OI, Evans! Getchur paws off my magazine!'" Someone snatched the glossy mag out of my hands before I could so much as open the front cover. Outraged, I turned around so I could decapitate the thief.

My eyebrows went so high they hit the ceiling. "Black? This is _your _magazine?"

He stood there, glaring at me as he cradled it protectively to his chest. "Yes it is! And I'd thank you to ask next time you want to read it!"

I stared at him, long and hard. He started stroking it, glaring back at me. "Uh…" I began slowly, unsure of his sanity, "You do realise that that's a girl's magazine?"

For one long, scary moment he locked eyes with me.

And then he burst into tears.

Honestly. That is what he did.

"All m-my life, I've had to p-p-put up with narrow-minded people like YOU!" he shrieked into his hands, which were pressed over his face. Great racking sobs came out of his mouth. I sat there, staring at him, feeling as surprised as a…very surprised thing.

He wasn't finished yet. "Y-you're all so prejudiced! I h-hate you all! Goodbye, cruel world!"

And with that, he threw the magazine at me, ran off with his hands flying dramatically in the air, and went running up the stairs. Almost everyone had stopped to look at him. A few of them were giggling nervously, as though unsure if it was a joke or not. As for me, Merlin, I felt I was going to faint with the sheer randomness of it all. I mean…it…him…how…_why_…

And then, I smelt it.

"Urugh!" exclaimed a third year, clapping a hand over his nose and glaring accusingly at me. "That's disgusting!"

I watched, horrified as his mate took a long drawn in sniff, gagged and bolted out the room. More and more people started sniffing at the air and choked, backing away and pressing themselves against the common room walls, staring at me, left on the sofa. All around me came muffled "Jesus _Christ_!" and "Damn!" and "Silent but violent, boy!" I breathed in deeply, and nearly threw up. Rotten eggs. Sewage. Sulphur.

"Oh, no!" I protested, going crimson as a couple of first years pointed at me with their mouths open, "That was _not _me! I swear!"

Silence. From somewhere in the distance, a cricket chirped. Someone coughed. Tumbleweed went bouncing past my ankles. _Everyone _was looking at me, and I mean everyone, from the scandalised looking Head Girl to Potter, who was cracking up on the sidelines…

And then it hit me, just as I was looking at James Potter's tears of mirth.

"YOU!" I shrieked, leaping to my feet and pointing a finger at him, "You made this smell!"

Grinning broadly and swaggering to the forefront of the crowd, Potter grinned at me through the fingers pinched on his nose. "Oh, trust me, Evans," he said, his voice sounding rather nasal and trembling with laughter, "If _I'd _done that, I'd be proud of myself." He took a tiny sniff, then staggered back dramatically. "Who'd have thought you had it in you?"

With everyone glaring accusingly at me, with Potter, Thingy and Moony all laughing in my face and with a smell that made me want to vomit going up my nose, I did the only thing I could think of.

I ran.

And you know what the last thing I saw was before I went thundering up the stairs? Black, running over to Thingy and saying loudly: "Did my distraction work?"

00o0o0o0o0

**Ah, the dreaded dungbombs…heh heh. Hope you all enjoyed reading! You know something? I wonder if anyone gets the same amount of reviews as hits. You know, 117 people at least looked at my last chapter, but only ten of you actually bothered reviewing…what I'm saying is, I wonder if ANYONE actually gets exactly the same amount of reviews as hits…**

**What I'm trying to say is: if you've looked at this chapter (and really, you can't have visited a chapter this far along by accident. It's not like, oh my mouse slipped and pressed the scroll button, then selected chapter twelve by pure coincidence. Silly me!) then just review. Even if you want to say its utter crap and…I don't know, that you've thrown your computer out the window so you never have to read it again. Come to think of it, that would probably just make me laugh. Yeah. Anyway. Going to stop babbling now. **

**Peace out, dudes. **

**Bubbles xxx**


	13. Follow, or not to follow?

I couldn't believe it. I just…I really couldn't…

ARRRAGH! HOW COULD THEY _DO _THAT TO ME?

I was Lily Evans. Respected Prefect _extraordinaire. _Well, slightly respected. By the first years at least. A few of them, anyway.

AND HE HAD RUINED ALL OF THAT!

I flung myself into my bed, tried to bury my face in my pillow, missed and whacked my nose on the bed post instead. Which hurt. A lot. Rolling onto my back (safer that way) I nursed my rapidly swelling nose and tried very hard not to cry.

Oh, alright then. I actually lay there and sobbed until I was damn near blue in the face and had to do breathing exercises to calm me down. Happy, now?

Someone knocked on the door, then came in before I could shout at them to go away. It was Marlene, and she gasped when she saw my tears, which just made me feel so much better. It's like, oh my god! Lily is crying! Let's all gasp at her!

"Lily! What's wrong?" Gaspy said, running over to my bed in a concerned flurry. I looked up at her blurry outline through my tears, and blinked, trying to get her into focus.

"Where have you been?" I said through gritted teeth (gritted to stop my voice shaking, not because I was mad at her or anything) "Didn't you see what happened just now?"

"No, I was in the – _phwaor_! What is that _smell_? Lily, was that you?"

"NO, IT BLOODY WASN'T ME!"

Marlene almost fell off the bed in surprise, but grabbed onto my hair just in time to stop herself slipping off. Y'know, having your hair yanked out in fistfuls really does do wonders for your mood. I'd say try it some time. "There was no need to shout!" she goes, all hurt and blinking, "It's just that there's a really bad smell in here."

Oh, great. I lifted my sleeve and sniffed at the material. True enough, rotten eggs wafted under my nose once more, and I gave a scream of rage, hurling my pillow at the wall. This time, Marlene really did fall off, and hit the floor with a thump.

"BLOODY POTTER, AND HIS BLOODY FRIENDS!" I screamed at the top of her head, which was all I could see of her. And I didn't say bloody either.

"Whoa!" was the best Marlene could do, scrambling to her feet again. She went to sit back on the bed, hesitated, then stayed standing. She held up her hands as though frightened I might start throwing pillows again. Which was stupid of her, as there wasn't any left on the bed.

"What's he done this time?"

"What has he done? What _hasn't _he done?" I took a great, steadying breath. It didn't help much. "He set off a stink bomb, or a dung-bomb or whatever they're called, right in front of me! And everyone thought it was _me_ who made the smell!" I stared expectantly up at her, waiting for sympathy. Or at least for her to offer to hire the Mafia to murder Potter or something.

Marlene frowned. "You saw him do this?"

"Well, no, I didn't _see _him do it, because of Black. He made a distraction so no-one would see him do it!"

She raised an eyebrow. Why was she raising her eyebrow? You put that eyebrow back down at once, missy. "So, you think Black made a distraction so Potter could make everyone think you'd made a smell?"

Why did she sound so sceptical? "Yeah, I do!" I retorted angrily, "Because that's the truth!"

Her other eyebrow went up as well. God, I hate her eyebrows. So damn skinny and perfect. Bit like Marlene, really. "Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked her.

"Well, Lily…you know you can never own up to it when you stink a room out…"

Oh no. No way was she doing this to me as well.

"…I mean, you might not have _meant _to have done it, it might have slipped out without you noticing…"

"So you're telling me," I interrupted angrily, "That I managed to fart and cause everyone around me to go _green _without noticing?"

"Well…yeah."

I didn't even dignify that sentence with a reply. I got up and stormed into the bathroom for a second shower, slamming the door behind me.

0o0

My stress ball had, at the beginning of the week, barely been touched. It had been a joke present from my muggle friend, Claire, and it was meant to release a calming scent of lavender every time it was squeezed in a spasm of fury…

An image of Potter's laughing face flitted into my mind, and I clenched the stress ball, imagining it to be his nose. Lavender scented beads exploded from my hand and scattered over the floor, making me jump.

Great. Now the whole room stank of over-powering lavender. Not to mention there were tiny purple beads everywhere.

"Wassat?" I heard Katy mutter, and she rolled over in her bed, then sat up, tousle headed and stared over at me. Although it was dark and I couldn't see her face, I knew she was glaring at me.

"Don't tell me you're still wigging out over that whole farting incident," I heard her say incredulously. "Honestly, Lily, get over yourself! That happened four days ago!" I squeezed my torn remnant of the stress ball hard.

"Easy for you to say!" I spat back at her, "Every time I see them, they laugh at me. Even the Head Girl can't look me in the eye without her lip quivering!"

"Whatever, Lily…" she muttered, then lay back down. I wish I could say snoring filled the air ten seconds later, but Katy is much too perfect to snore. No, she sleeps in total silence. Cow.

Marlene had fallen asleep propped up on her elbow talking to me. Or listening to me rant. Same thing. Now she looked like she was in some weird porno pose, only a really bad one as her mouth was wide open and she was drooling all over the pillow. I sat there, staring at their sleeping faces, running my fingers repeatedly over the stress ball. Then suddenly, unable to stand the pong of sickly lavender any longer, I got up and walked to the door, unable to resist slamming it behind me and waking up Katy once more.

Alright, so that was slightly mean. But it made me feel better.

The common room was totally deserted when I got down there, which wasn't exactly a big surprise as it was something like quarter to midnight. Just outside the window I could see the full moon, low and orange in the sky. For a moment I stood there staring at it, wondering why the moon looked like it had gone out of date, and then shrugged it off. There was probably some long sciencey explanation for it that I wasn't really interested in, so I collapsed into an armchair and stared moodily into the fireplace.

You know, sitting down in the common room and being moody really wasn't much better than sitting in my dormitory and being moody. I fidgeted slightly. Then I was starting to wish I'd bought my stress ball down with me. Then I remembered I had burst it from squeezing it too hard.

Bum.

So I sat there, gazing not-so moodily into the fireplace, and because it was nice and warm I felt my eyelids start to flutter closed. The armchair was very comfy…maybe I would sleep down here again…

I'm not sure how long I lay there, half asleep, but the sounds of footsteps clumping down the stairs snapped me out of it. I sat up slightly, then stuck my head around the side of the chair, watching the foot of the stairs. I could hear whispers, then the muffled sound of someone laughing…I stiffened, and shrank back in my chair until only my eyes were sticking out. I _knew _that laughter.

Someone stepped out of the shadowy staircase, and walked softly across the common room, then stood with his back to me. My fists clenched and I had to swallow several times to stop myself growling. I knew that messy-haired outline anywhere. Potter.

Two more figures came out, side by side and talking quietly. Surprise, surprise, it was Black and Thingy. I watched as Thingy gave a high-pitched giggle at something Black said, and was hastily shushed. Well, Black slapped a hand over his mouth, which counts as being shushed. I waited for Moony to emerge from the dark as well, but to my surprise, he didn't. It was just the three of them, gathered in the middle of the room and talking. Very quietly. I strained my ears to catch a snippet of their conversation, but within about ten seconds Potter went to the portrait, opened it and called softly over his shoulder, "All clear." With that, they all disappeared outside, closing the Portrait with a tiny click behind them.

I stood up at once, jogging over and pressing my ear to the back of the portrait, but all I could hear was the Fat Lady snoring.

Hmm.

De ja vu, anyone?

The only thing was: what to do this time…

0o0o0o0o

**Hey there. Should Lily go after them, or should she not? What do YOU think? Only way to tell me is to review...or e-mail me...or even track down my adress and phone number and tell me in person...but I'm hoping none of you are going to do that. That would be creepy to say the least. Lol. **

**There will hopefully be some romance blossoming between our lovely Lilykins and Jamsie, but not for a VERY long time. Well, longish. It depends on which way my muse sways me. That's the way I write my stories: purely on impulse. Feel free to tell me if you reckon James is horrible to Lily to get her attention, or if he is merely being a...not very nice person. **

**You know the drill, people. Review, or ignore what I write here and just not review anyway. **

**Peace out xxx**


	14. The Tartan Queen Strikes

_This is a really stupid thing to do. _

Shut up, I told my head, it's not stupid. It's actually quite logical.

_Logical, how exactly? _Merlin, even the voices in my head sounded sarcastic. I struggled for a scathing comment to put myself down.

_Struggling, are we?_

Oh, shut up, I thought miserably as I ran quietly down a corridor, following the sound of boyish voices. It's logical because Mrs Norris has already caught me once, so the chances are she won't catch me again.

_Oh, and where did you get that conclusion from? The sky? _

No, actually, I didn't. It's based on the whole 'lightning never strikes twice' theory. So ha. Stick that in your proverbial pipe and smoke it.

All I got was a long, sarcastic silence from my head. Triumphant, I stopped at a corner and peered around it, just glimpsing their backs going down a staircase. I was being sensible this time, and following them at a very long distance, so none of their ultra-sensitive ears could hear me. I waited a while to give them a head start, then set off in pursuit.

Yes, yes, alright. Maybe it was a bit foolish of me to go stalking them at night again, especially after what happened last time. But come on. The gits had made the whole of Gryffindor think I had done some super-sonic fart. Wouldn't _you _leap at any chance for revenge? Who knows what I could catch them doing…I could dig up loads of dirt on them…

So intent was I on dreaming the things I could dig up on Potter, I hadn't even realised exactly what staircase I was descending, until I spotted the Entrance Hall doors looming up in front of me, and I felt a _freezing _cold breeze blow on my arms. Shivering, I stopped at the foot of the stairs, keeping my eyes wide open for Potter. I jumped and pressed my back to the wall as I heard their voices, and then Potter himself appeared at the open Entrance Hall doors, his hair standing on end in the wind.

"Are you sure?" I heard him say in a low voice. No-one answered, but as I tried hard to keep myself hidden a rat ran out from behind the door and started scurrying right towards me.

Now, I'm not scared of rats. Not most of the time. But when a huge one just leaps out at you like that…oh, alright. I screamed. Very loudly.

"Evans!" Shit, shit, _shit_! Potter had stepped out from the door and stood staring right at me. The rat gave a loud squeak and started running back towards him, slipping between Potter's feet and disappearing out the door. Weirdly, he didn't even flinch, but shuffled over to give it room, and watched it go over his shoulder. I thought I saw him widen his eyes and mouth something, but it was so subtle I couldn't have been sure. He then moved towards me, eyes two ghostly hollow pits in his face. I felt myself tremble. Not because he scared me. Because I was bloody freezing standing there.

"What are you doing here?" he snapped at me, and his voice sounded harsh, brutal. "Go back to bed, Evans!"

I felt myself bristle. I mean, ­no-one talks to me like that. It's just not done. "Go back to bed yourself!" I all but shouted, my voice echoing magnificently around the Entrance chamber. "And what are _you _doing here, going out at this time?"

His face looked weirdly tense and pale. "Don't argue with me," he growled, "Just _go away. _Why do you keep following us? You're a fucking stalker!"

I clenched my fists to stop myself punching him. "I am a Prefect!" I shouted back at him, "I have the right to stop you breaking the rules!"

Oh, brilliant, that was sure going to impress him. Right on cue, he raised his eyebrows at me. "Oh, and you're not breaking them? You really are stupid."

Right, that did it. "YOU TAKE THAT BACK!" I screamed at him, my wand 'falling' into my hand as it did with Mrs Norris. He eyed it for a moment, and then snorted with laughter.

"Oh, yeah, like a nerd like you could ever have the guts to stun me."

His sneering face was now outlined by a steaming red border in my vision. Suddenly the opened Entrance Hall door caught my eye. "Where are Black and the rest of your posse, then?"

For a split second, Potter's eyes widened. "Nowhere important," he replied. I sneered back at him.

"Nowhere important, huh? So you wouldn't mind if I just…went to look for them?" I started walking towards the doors. Potter started towards me, hands violently pushing me backwards.

"Don't be stupid!" he snarled at me, "Just GO BACK TO BED!"

For a second our eyes locked. His were furious, panicky, and I could see I'd hit a _very _raw nerve. But I didn't care. There was something he was hiding out there, something against the rules, and it was my job as a Prefect…oh, fine, I just wanted to satisfy my burning curiosity. Happy now?

"I am giving you to the count of three to get out of my way," I said softly. Ohhh, yes, I could do scary as well. Just call me…er, Scary Woman. "One…"

His wand was out as well now, and he still showed no signs of moving. His eyes were boring into mine, and my confidence was starting to waver. He wasn't going to move. Could I really force him? Too late now, I had started the countdown. You can't just start a countdown and stop half way through. That would look incredibly silly.

"Two…" Come on, Potter, move! Please?

I swallowed hard. What was I doing? I couldn't take on Potter! He was bigger than me! Wildly, I cast around for ideas, couldn't think of anything, so I threw caution to the winds and pointed a finger over his shoulder and screamed: "OH MY GOD! WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT DISTRACTION!"

To my total disbelief, Potter whipped his head around to look over his shoulder, and I ran for it, legging it to the Hall doors as fast as I could. I was just at the doors, my hand on the handle when Potter shrieked something at me, and the next thing I knew my legs were doing some weird kind of jig. Furious, I looked down at my merrily skipping legs, and tried to direct them out the doors. When that failed, I raised my wand and screamed a random hex at him. He dodged it and started running towards me, wand out, and he tackled me to the floor. So there I was, with my legs still trying desperately to dance, with Potter's hands pinning me down and with me swearing and him yelling and the wind howling and that was when McGonagall walked in.

"WHAT IN GOD'S NAME ARE YOU TWO DOING?"

0o0

I don't think I could remember a time I had ever been more mortified. I mean, there was me, Potter sprawled all over me like a wet blanket, my legs bouncing up and down like a demented rabbit, and a prune faced McGonagall standing over us in a tartan night dress.

TARTAN.

She spoke as though someone had just thrust a stick up her bottom. "Potter. Evans. Would you both like to disentangle yourselves and come with me?"

Nah, I'll pass thanks, I very nearly said, but Potter was standing up and my legs were still bucking furiously, which was sort of a distraction. McGonagall's nostrils flared out, and (hey presto!) went snow white. "Miss Evans, stand up immediately!"

"They've been hexed!" I tried to say, but Potter chose that moment to point his wand at me and mutter "Finite." My legs fell as limp as cabbages on the floor. I climbed unsteadily to my feet. McGonagall gave one, tight nod and turned and walked swiftly away, and I had no choice but to follow.

And now, here I was, in McGonagall's office. Everything around me was tartan. It was like I was drowning a sea of tartaness. McGonagall was practically camouflaged in here.

"Do either of you," spoke the largest piece of tartan, "Have _any _reason for why I should not throw you both out the school tonight?"

Oh, come on. That wasn't fair. I had only been walking around at night and fighting with Potter. It's not like I was trying to kill someone…wait, maybe I was.

I think it was a rhetorical question anyway. Good. That meant I could just sit there and look awkward.

McGonagall, alias Tartan Queen, leant over her desk. I just kept looking at my knees. If I kept looking at all that green, red and black my eyes would explode.

"Miss Evans, look at me! Do you have any explanation for what you have been caught doing tonight?"

Reluctantly, I looked up. McGonagall glared at me, and to my horror, I saw that from my position I could see straight down her nightdress. I hastily looked at her face. For crying out loud, who the hell does she wear such low cut night clothes for, anyway? _Dumbledore_?

Her cleavage wiggled in annoyance, and my mouth fell open in disgust. Put it away! We are too young to be exposed to such pornography! "I take it that you have no explanation, _Miss Evans_?"

I wordlessly shook my head, then dived my eyes down to look at the floor. Even the tartan was better than…that. Ewwwww.

"Mr Potter?"

He didn't say anything either. I could only guess he had shaken his head. McGonagall straightened up again (Oh thank the Lord!) and glared beadily at us. "I am ashamed to call you my House students," she said, her voice a mere whisper, yet still shaking with rage. "I would never have believed this of you, Miss Evans. I am _appalled _at your atrocious behaviour. Both of you!"

I chanced a glance up at her face, then hastily looked away again. Her face looked as though it were being sucked into a hoover.

"I can't even begin to say how disappointed I am in you. Fifty points will be taken from Gryffindor. And you will both receive three months worth of detention."

Ah well that wasn't so bad. Fifty points wasn't that much, we could always catch up…

Hang on, _what did she say? _

"Three months?" Potter repeated incredulously, "Professor, you can't - "

"_Don't tell me what I can and can't do, Potter_!" She sounded so dangerous Potter's jaw closed with an audible snap. McGonagall breathed heavily through her nose. I sincerely hoped she didn't have any bogies up there, because if one shot out of her nostril and landed on my face I don't think I could hold back a scream…

"I have nothing more to say to either of you," she snarled, "You will both go straight back to Gryffindor tower. Details of your detentions will be sent to you tomorrow. Now get out of my sight!"

With pleasure, I thought miserably as me and Potter rose and started walking out.

In the name of Merlin's socks, what was I going to do now?

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

**This is probably my favourite chapter so far. And so! The plotline mentioned in the summary finally begins! Wow, I actually have a story with plot...it's a miricle! All of my stories are usually just one-shots...**

**Well? What did you think? Good, bad, terrible, excruciatingly horrible, wonderful...? **

**Peace out xxx **


	15. The Semicalm before the Sort of Storm

I could barely sleep that night. All night long I just kept tossing and turning, listening to Marlene snore, and watching the full moon rise higher and higher through the window until I couldn't see it any longer. My mind was in a total state of shock. I mean…It's just…How _could _she…

THREE MONTHS?

That was twelve weeks. That was eighty four days. That was…a lot of hours and god knows how many minutes. Don't even get me started on the seconds.

Was she absolutely insane? Had she been smoking some tartan patterned bong? She could NOT do this to me. I would lose everything. My reputation. My spare time. My sanity. I had been trying to be a good Prefect and reinforce the rules and what had she rewarded me with? Three months of Potter.

I'm sorry, but no-one deserves that. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. Hang on, Potter is my worst enemy, and I doubt he'd say no to three months of himself…

Did that even make sense?

0o0

"Come on, Lily. You have to eat something."

"Marlene, you don't understand. Last night was the worst night of my life. How can I be expected to just eat breakfast like nothing ever happened?"

Marlene blinked at me. "Easily. You pick up your toast, you take a bite, you start chewing…"

"Ok, you can shut up now."

She sighed and carried on tucking into her sausages. God, they looked tasty. All hot and sizzling. I felt my mouth start to water, but I hastily looked away. No! I had dramatically lost my appetite thanks to McGonagall and Potter, and I would not give in now. Hopefully, McGonagall would notice I wasn't eating and feel really guilty.

Hopefully.

"Here comes the post," announced a sixth year from across the table.

"What are you, some kind of narrator?" I snapped at him. He raised an eyebrow and flung back his head to watch the huge cloud of owls now circling around the Hall, and I grudgingly did the same. A huge long-eared owl broke away from the mass and swooped down to Marlene, dropping a letter on her plate and soaring away again. She picked it up excitedly.

"I think it's from my parents! I haven't heard from them in ages!"

My mouth was too dry to reply to her. My eye was suddenly drawn to a chocolate brown owl gliding down to Potter, who was sat at the other end of the table. As I watched, Potter took the letter it offered him, then it spread its wings and started flying again, straight towards me.

Marlene was busy reading her letter by the time the owl got to me, so it was without a friendly face peering over my shoulder when I slit open the wax seal and drew out the parchment.

_Lily Evans, _

_Your detentions will be taking place once a week, on the Friday, for the next three months. You will be partnered by James Potter. Each detention will be supervised by a different Professor every week. The teachers good enough to take you for your detentions, in the correct order, will be:_

_Professor McGonagall_

_Professor Trelawney_

_Professor Flitwick_

_Professor Sprout_

_Professor Slughorn_

_Professor Kettleburn_

_All of these Professors will take you after school, in their office, at 6 pm sharp every Friday night. _

_When you have completed your sixth detention with Professor Kettleburn, the list of teachers taking you will start again. _

_Professor M. McGongall _

I glared at that tight, frosty signature, then scrunched the letter up into a ball and dumped it in a bowl of porridge.

"That's what I think of you and your detentions!" I shouted at the rapidly sinking parchment. Then I remembered the list of teachers was on it, and had to fish it out again, wrinkling up my nose in disgust.

"So, was yours good news?" asked Marlene dreamily, folding up her own nice, friendly letter with no porridge on it. I looked at her, then looked back at my own soggy, horrible mail.

"It was the details of my detention, actually." I told Marlene all about what happened to me last night, by the way. Or at least, my version of what happened.

"Oh, I see. So how bad is it?"

"I have to spend every Friday evening with Potter for three months."

There was silence for a moment. Then Marlene patted me on the shoulder, obviously lost for words.

"What's the day today?" I asked her. God, Merlin, anyone up there listening to me, _please _don't let it be Friday…

"It's, uh, Thursday."

Oh, ha ha ha. Good one, guys. I said I didn't want Friday, so you gave me the next worst thing: Thursday. Actually, Thursday is even worse because I have to spend the whole day dreading tomorrow…so I hope you're all wetting yourselves up there.

My appetite had suddenly returned, and I was desperate for food. Who cared about being dramatically unable to eat? With three months of Potter I would either go slowly insane or die by some stupid prank of his, so this may well be the last breakfast I ever eat. However, just as I made a sudden lunge for a sausage, the plates sparkled and all the food disappeared. Seconds later, I heard the bell ring.

Thanks a bunch, Merlin, I thought bitterly as we all rose up and started mooching towards the doors. Potter and his posse (actually, that sounds quite catchy, don't you think?) were all looking…well, not sad exactly, but less bouncy than usual. Join the club.

"Hey, Mar?" I mumbled, watching hungrily as Black tried to poke Thingy in the eye with a bit of bacon, "What do we have first lesson?"

"Charms."

"Oh, good! Something that's gone right…" And then I remembered that we sit in front of Potter and Black for Charms. I stopped, and flung out an arm to bring Marlene to a halt as well. "Just one second."

And with that, I walked over to the nearest wall and banged my head on it. Hard.

"Feel better?" asked Marlene when I got back to her, more than a little cross eyed.

"No, actually. My head hurts."

She only rolled her eyes at that, which I thought was very unsympathetic of her.

0o0o0o0o0o0

**Yes…it is short. But I am promising you, the next chapter is so long you will be knocked over backwards by the sheer longness of it all. And that is long. **

**Oh, alright, it won't be seven thousand pages or anything. But it will be a LOT longer than this. So…look forward to that! **

**Poll question…has anyone out there heard of the song 'Tribute' by Tenacious D? It is a very good if insane song…anyone? Heard of it? (Echo) **

**Shove it in your review if you have. That's all for now. Peace out! **


	16. Detention One: McGonagall

A Friday morning. A new day. A happy day, for that matter. From the moment I opened my eyes, a delicious golden feeling swelled up inside my chest. I mean, come on. At the end of a long, torturous week at school, who _doesn't _get that Friday feeling?

Rain was pounding the windows when I swung my legs out of bed, and the sky looked as though someone had just puked porridge on it (i.e.: GREY) but I didn't let that spoil the happy feeling in my soul. After all, at the end of today I would be set free, free for two glorious days. Ah, it was beautiful. Yes, I might have Care of Magical Creatures outside in the bucketing rain today, and yes, the showers were pouring ice-cold water onto my skin that morning, but who cared? It was FRIDAY!

Marlene had already gone down to breakfast when I came out of the shower, so after drying my hair and getting dressed I sailed down to the Great Hall on my own. Everything was going nicely. My hair was silky smooth, it was Friday…I even smiled at a bunch of third years walking in my direction. See? That is how nice I am. Most fifth years like me hated third years, but I was unprejudiced.

One of them called out to me.

"Got a spare fag?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Er – no."

"Tight bitch!" The third year in question stuck up his middle finger at me, and his mates roared with laughter.

"I don't smoke, you fool!" I snapped back at him, before turning on my heel and striding furiously away from them.

I am never smiling at a third year again.

Determined to shrug it off (the blessed Friday feeling was starting to slip) I walked into the Great Hall and sat down next to Marlene.

"Morning!" I said brightly, starting to butter a crumpet. She glanced round at me.

"What are you so happy about?" she mumbled. Well, gee, what a wonderful welcome. Sometimes, you know, I really despair in the human race. I decided not to let it show.

"I am happy to be alive, Marlene. I am merely counting the simple blessings in life that everyone else insists on taking for granted. That is something that you should try, too."

She stared at me like I had grown another head. "You've forgotten, haven't you?"

A feeling of dread crept over me. "Forgotten what?"

"You have detention with Potter and McGonagall today, remember?"

I sat there and looked at her. And then I remembered, and was able to sum up my feelings with one word:

"Bugger."

That Friday Feeling I had talked about? It had completely evaporated.

0o0

I was dreading it. My stomach churned as I looked at the clock and realised I had but fifteen minutes until I had to face my greatest fear: McGonagall and Potter. Together. In the same room. I shuddered and pulled my robes closer against my body, staring at my Potions homework spread out on the table before me. I had been working on it for about half an hour now, and what had I achieved? Two lines of written work. Mmm, that would impress Slughorn. He would sure be blown away by my Potions skills now.

Marlene was curled on the rug by the fire, talking quietly to Ashleigh, another one of my room mates. Traitor. She was meant to be comforting me, but no, she had decided to talk to _Ashleigh. _I was left alone, huddled in my armchair, crying silent tears, forsaken by my friends…

Someone tapped me on the shoulder, and I jumped so much I nearly fell off my chair. Whipping my head around, I glared at the person who had dared to awaken me from my deep depression.

"What?" I snapped irritably at Potter, who was leaning on the back of my armchair, watching me with an amused look on his face.

"You coming?" he asked me. I rolled my eyes.

"No, Potter, I'm going to sit here for the rest of the evening." I replied, my voice dripping with sarcasm. He raised an eyebrow, and then smiled slightly. I recoiled in horror. Gah! Potter was SMILING at me! Someone help!

"Come along, Evans," he drawled, "Or we'll be late for old Minnie."

Why did he think I would be going WITH him? "Erm, yeah," I muttered, looking up at him. "Coming."

Without bothering to say bye to Marlene (as if SHE cared anyway) I slung my bag over my shoulder, and followed Potter out of the Portrait hole, and then we walked along the corridor together.

See anything wrong with that oh-so-seemingly-natural-sentence?

Yeah, me too. I followed POTTER out of the portrait hole, and WE walked along the corridor TOGETHER.

What the hell was going on?

"So," he said, breaking the rather awkward silence that had filled the air, "D'you like ducks?"

Ducks?

"Potter?" I said, looking sideways at him.

"Yes?"

"Shut up."

I swear he drooped slightly when I said that. It didn't take him long to recover, unfortunately.

"I like ducks."

"I'm happy for you," I replied dryly, wondering just how long the walk to McGonagall's office was going to take.

"Last week I shot a duck."

I stared at him. "How could you have done? Ducks don't even live around here."

He tapped the side of his nose and winked at me. "Wouldn't _you _like to know?"

Oh, Good Lord.

I never thought I would be pleased to see McGonagall, but my heart actually rose in relief when I spotted her peering out of her office door and scowling down the corridor at us. So pleased was I, that I nearly smiled at her, but I hastily bit the inside of my cheek when I remembered where Smiling and Being Nice can get you.

"You are both two minutes late," she snapped at us, holding the door open as we trooped inside.

"Two whole ones?" I _just _heard Potter mutter behind my back. I felt my lip quiver, and quickly bit down on that as well. Result was I probably looked like some kind of hamster hungry enough to eat the inside of its own mouth. Attractive.

McGonagall sat down behind her desk, and glared up at us. Then she pointed over at a teetering stack of tartan (oh the horror, the horror!) envelopes.

"Seeing as I must sacrifice my evening for both of you, I have decided to set you doing something useful," she snapped up at us. "Miss Evans, you will writing out the addresses on the envelopes. Mr Potter, you will be stamping them down with the wax seal. After half an hour you will swap jobs. Clear?"

We both nodded mutely. McGonagall thrust a list of addresses at me, then pointed to a small writing desk in the corner.

"Start," she commanded, and with that, we jumped to it.

It was actually quite relaxing after a while. McGonagall got on with marking books or whatever it was she was doing, and I got on with writing the addresses. Potter was sitting there with the hot wax stamp thing, looking bored out of his mind.

"Hey, Professor?" he asked after about ten minutes of quiet working, "What's in the envelopes?"

God, he was brave. Or just plain stupid, one of the two. McGonagall fixed him with a long, piercing look over the top of her spectacles.

"I fail to see why it is any business of yours, Potter," she said, her voice dangerously soft. Potter didn't say anything after that. It seemed even he wasn't dumb enough to take on 'old Minnie' in that mood.

Another ten minutes. My wrist was starting to ache. Good Merlin, how many people was McGonagall writing to? Surely she didn't have that many friends? In despair, I looked down at the next address.

_Mrs Sukie Salmon_

_No' 19 Tree Stop Lane_

_Coalington_

_Wales _

Sukie Salmon? What kind of name was that? God, imagine having to introduce yourself at parties. "Hello, I'm Mrs Salmon, and this is my husband, Mr Salmon." I mean, you'd just get laughed out the place wouldn't you?

McGonagall stood up suddenly, brushing the front of her robes down. She eyed us both beadily. "I will be back, shortly," she announced, "And if I come back to find you have made no progress whatsoever, I will be _most displeased_."

Or in other words, you'll decapitate us. I watched her go out the corner of my eye, carefully still writing out Sukie Salmon's address. It seemed Potter was as well, because when the door closed with a snap we both visibly relaxed.

"Thank Merlin!" he said loudly, tossing the stamp onto the desk and stretching his arms backwards. I cocked an eyebrow at him. Or at least, I tried to. I probably just looked like I was squinting or something.

"Got summat in your eye, Evans?" Yep, it looked like I was squinting. Bloody typical.

I ignored him, and turned back to writing out the next address.

Potter, however, didn't like that very much. After about ten seconds of too-good-to-be-true silence he suddenly goes: "What's your middle name?"

Ok, he did NOT just ask me that. Maybe if I wouldn't say anything, he'd forget he'd said it and stop talking to me…

"Evans? Hello? Evans?" He nudged me. Twice. I looked up at him, barely able to stop myself snarling.

"_What_?"

"What's your middle name?"

"Why the hell would I tell you something like that?"

He pouted. Yes, pouted, as in stuck out his bottom lip and looked at me with big puppy eyes. Oh God. He looked like a fish. A dying one. I felt a giggle start to bubble up inside me, but I bit down on my lip and looked away from him. There was no way I'd boost his ego and let him think he'd made me laugh!

I chanced a glance back at him. Potter the fish was still there.

_Hmm, a fish with glasses…_

A snort of laughter fought its way out of my tightly sealed lips. Potter grinned at me, then reached past me and plucked one of the envelopes from McGonagall's stack. I frowned at him.

"What are you doing?"

"Looking inside," he replied, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. I gaped at him in horror.

"Didn't you _hear _her, you stupid - " I stood up and went to snatch the envelope out of his hands, but he was too fast for me and held it away at arms length. Result was, I went toppling into his chest and kind of ended up on top of him.

Gah!

"You stupid idiot!" I snapped at him, pushing myself off him (using his stomach as launch pad, of course) and trying to hide my own coloured cheeks. "She could be back at any moment!"

Potter, I was glad to see, had been somewhat winded by my shove in his stomach, but he recovered almost instantly, like the annoying bit of rubber he is. "Loosen up, Evans!" he wheezed at me, the inane grin still on his face. He still clutched the envelope in his hand, impossibly far away from me. "Tell me what your middle name is, and I'll give you the envelope!"

"Why are you so desperate to know?" I started inching around the back of his chair, keeping my eyes fixed on the envelope. He had me sussed, however, because in two seconds he was on his feet as well, holding it up high in his windmill arms. Drat.

"I'm a collector of middle names," he told me airily. "It's my ambition to find out what _everyone's _middle name is, and I haven't got yours yet."

"Oh, and that's not sad at all," I replied sarcastically, wondering if I should degrade myself by jumping. His arm was starting to sag…maybe, if I jumped really high…

"It's a hobby." His grin grew larger. "Are you going to tell me, so we can sit back down and carry on safely, or are we going to stand here when McGonagall could come back at any moment and get us both into trouble?"

ARAGH! He had been taking lessons from Moony! Cryptic or too-clever-for-their-own-good people mess with my head. Also, I had become very aware of our positions. I was backed up against a wall for heavens sake, and he was towering over me, so close his breath ruffled my hair. I couldn't escape.

And then, suddenly, it all became clear.

"Oh, Potter," I sighed, winding my arms around his neck and stepping closer to him. We were now (bletch) entwined in a rather compromising position. "I hate these petty arguments. Why we can't we just be…"

My knee inched between his legs, in a seemingly seductive move. His eyes had widened, and pink was creeping into his cheeks. I grinned evilly at him, then brought my knee _up, _hard, smashing right into his…sensitive area.

"Friends?"

He gave what I can only describe as a shriek, and pressed both hands over his groin, bringing the letter down with him. I whipped it away from his now lax fingers, pushed him away from me and sat back down at my desk. A small bell gave a short ring, and I turned to look at Potter, who was still hunched over, glaring at me with suspiciously watery eyes.

"Would you look at that," I said casually, "It's your turn to write the addresses now."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

**Hello to you all. This has got to be the longest chapter I've done so far…I hope you're all proud. **

**Now, quite a lot of people have told me that Professor Trelawney couldn't POSSIBLY teach at Hogwarts, because she started after Lily and James left…yes, the thought did cross my mind. But I really, really want them to do a detention with her. I have plans for her. So…let's just pretend that Trelawney started teaching in Lily and James's fifth year, okay? It's only a few years difference…I mean, according to JK, they died when they were twenty two. (Sniff) If you have a problem with that, then…oh well. Go read another story. **

**To all of you who have heard of the wonderful song which is Tribute, I leave you with this: **

"**_Look into my eyes and it's easy to see: one and one make two, two and one make three, it was DESTINY! Once every hundred thousand years or so, where the sun doth shine and the moon doth glow, and the grass doth grow – oh_!"**

**Peace out! **


	17. New Friends

I never thought I'd end up telling the tale of my first detention through giggles to my entire roomful of dorm mates, but you know…it happened anyway.

They were all looking either incredibly shocked or deeply impressed.

"Lily! I can't believe that of _you_!" shrieked Zea, yet _another _one of my room mates I haven't mentioned yet. I never speak to her anyway, apart from the obvious 'can you pass me my brush/magazine/fill in the gap with own item here.

Yeah, anyway, so Zea had deigned to talk to me tonight because she had overheard me telling Marlene about my, ahem, 'little kneeing incident.' She was looking torn between annoyance and full on new found respect for me. "I mean, you're usually such a good girl!" she continued, tossing her long, straight black hair over her shoulder. Marlene snorted.

"Good girl? Have you _seen _the amount of detentions she's been going to recently?"

Three pairs of eyes the size of saucers all stared at me. I blushed slightly, but managed to stare defiantly back.

"Detentions?" squealed Zea, practically writhing in excitement, "You've had detentions before tonight, Lily?"

"Uh…yeah," I muttered, raising my eyebrows at her. She gave a short scream and fell dramatically backwards off her bed.

"I'm finding out so much about you tonight, Lily," observed Ashleigh quietly, while Zea struggled to get back on her bed. "I always thought you were quite a reserved person."

I looked over at Marlene, too stunned to speak. She looked back at me, her mouth hanging open. Then at exactly the same time we both squeaked: "_Reserved_!"

"Guys? Guys? Can someone help me, please?" came Zea's muffled voice, and we all simultaneously turned to look at her legs still slung on top of the bed. "I'm sort of stuck…oh my GOD! EW!"

"What's wrong?" asked Katy lazily, not moving at all to try and help her.

"There is GUM under my BED! WHO HAS BEEN PUTTING GUM UNDER MY BED! "

"Wasn't me!" interrupted Katy, blowing a huge bubblegum bubble, "It must have been the new rebel, Lily." She shot me quite a bitchy look, which I returned in full throttle. Cow. I don't even own any chewing gum, apart from the times I steal off of her. But no-one needs to know about that.

"Lily wouldn't do that, I've never even seen her eat gum!" shrieked Zea's legs.

"You've never seen her go to detentions either, and apparently she's been attending them nightly."

"Shut the hell up, Katy," Ashleigh stepped in before I could, "That gum could have been there before we even moved into this dorm..."

"Yeah!" I added, nodding my head furiously. _So ha_! I added silently in the privacy of my own mind, but decided not to push Katy any further. She looked…oh, what was the word? Oh yeah: _angry. _

Zea appeared, her hair a mess, back on her bed at long last. Her face was scarlet. "It's like gum city down there!" she said crossly, "Little bits of blue, red, white blobs hanging off the underside of my bed! I'm never sleeping on my bed again!"

I felt my eyes start to droop with tiredness. It was the night after my detention with Potter, by the way, but we had stayed up until about one o'clock in the morning discussing it. "I'm going to bed," I said over Zea's disgusted rant, "G'night, all."

I drew the curtains and burrowed into my blankets, curling up nice and small. Within about two seconds I was asleep. The last thing I could remember hearing was Marlene saying: "But she's always been like that, you know, she hasn't suddenly turned into a rebel…you just never knew her properly…"

The next morning we all walked down to the Great Hall together. Yes, you can scrape your jaws off of the ground now, I really DID say 'we' as in: me, Marlene, Ashleigh and Zea. But no Katy, thank God.

And to my surprise, they were actually pretty good company.

Zea, despite being annoying girlie, 'absolutely hated Potter, so much in fact if he says one word to me I want to cut his balls off and set them on fire.' Hence me and her had LOADS in common, and spent a lot of the time thinking up increasingly more violent ways to cause Potter pain, which proved to be surprisingly therapeutic.

Ashleigh…Merlin. Out of all of my dorm mates, she was the most shockingly different to my original view of her. It was like she had a split personality. One minute she could be all sweet, caring and, well, _nice. _Then the next thing you know a really dirty joke or bitchy insult would come tumbling out of her mouth and have us all rolling on the floor gasping for breath.

I mean, obviously, Marlene would always remain my best friend. But hanging constantly around with one person all the time can drive you nuts, and having two new people with us was…urugh, for desperate want of a better word: "refreshing."

I waltzed into the Great Hall that morning with a big, cheesy grin on my face.

We all sat down, laughing away at something Zea said. Then I made the mistake of looking at who I had just sat down next to.

Potter.

He took one look at me and spat his orange juice all over Thingy, who squealed so long and loudly it hurt my ears.

I tried to hide a snigger. I even politely tried to turn my chuckle into a cough. But the sight of Thingy, gently dripping juice, looking as though someone had just _mooned_ him…

Oh alright, I lied. I actually cracked up laughing on the spot and damn near hyperventilated. My honking attracted Marlene's, Zea's and Ashleigh's attention, and pretty soon they were all banging their fists on the table in laughter as well.

Potter, for some reason, wasn't very happy about that.

"Shut up, Evans!" he spat at me. Literally. I felt flecks of spit hit the side of my cheek. Really, nothing calms down your laughter more than being spat on by Potter. Must remember that for the future.

"Why should I, Potter?" I asked him, my eyes straying over to Thingy again, who was desperately trying to wipe the juice out of his hair. Another giggle fought its way out of my mouth. Potter scowled at me.

"You're laughing at nothing, you pathetic little - "

"Oh, I think we are laughing at something, Potter," interrupted Zea, leaning over the table, "How's your groin, by the way?" She raised her voice slightly. "Can you still walk straight after Lily kneed you in the balls?"

That was it. We were _gone, _just like that. Marlene almost fell off the bench she was laughing so hard, Potter's face was that hysterical. It got even better when Black exclaimed: "WHAT? Evans kneed you in the BALLS, Prongs?"

"Didn't he tell you, Black?" I choked out through my tears of mirth, "That's funny…would you like to hear the whole story?"

"No, he wouldn't!" snarled Potter, and he stood up, making the whole table rock. "C'mon Sirius."

And with that, they both walked out, leaving us to cry with laughter.

Ah, good times. As I slumped over the table, helpless, I looked around at my friends. Ashleigh was red in the face, wiping tears away from her eyes. Zea's make-up was running, but she was still howling with mirth. Marlene had rested her head on the table, her body racked with giggles.

So maybe I had barely spoken to most of them in over five years. Suddenly, it didn't matter. I had a feeling we were all going to get on very well together…

The rest of that Sunday was possibly one of the best days of my life. After Zea had put Potter down so neatly, I couldn't help but want to spend more time with them. It even beat the time I slapped Potter and Black on the same day, which wasn't that long ago. We did what felt like just about everything: went to the library to finish homework, the kitchens to stuff our faces with biscuits, ventured outside to sit by the lake for no reason whatsoever…

I was absolutely freezing sitting by that lake, by the way. It was the beginning of December, for crying out loud. You could almost hear my teeth chattering over the wind ripping through my lungs. Yet at the same time, it was weirdly fun, as we were all huddled together, like penguins, noses blue and fingers numb…but still happy, I found.

"R-r-remind me again, Zea," stuttered out Ashleigh, who's head was wrapped in a blue fuzzy scarf in a desperate attempt to keep her ears warm, "W-why are we here?"

"B-b-_because_," Zea replied, in a crap attempt at looking totally comfortable outside, with her hands jammed in her armpits to get the feeling back in them, "It's n-nice!"

"Nice!" squeaked Marlene, hugging her knees so closely to her chest her back looked in danger of snapping in half, "You think this is nice?"

"L-Lily ag-agrees with me!"

I did actually. In fact, it was partly my idea to come out here in the first place. I wasn't about to say that, though, I think Ashleigh would have strangled me with her scarf.

"Let's go back in!" I said through blowing on my fingers. Even I had my limits. Marlene looked as though she would melt with the cold. Ashleigh scrambled to her feet at once, shivering violently.

"Race ya to the castle!" she mock-screeched at me, and threw her arms up in the air before running away up the grassy slope, scarf flailing out behind her.

"Mental, that one," shivered Zea, also climbing awkwardly to her feet and hauling Marlene up as well. "F-fine, I give in. I suppose it is p-pretty cold."

"Only a tad," I smiled at her, then hastily closed my mouth as my tongue recoiled from the cold blast of air entering my mouth. We all stumped up the hill after Ashleigh, who was jumping up and down impatiently at the top.

"About bloody time and all!" she gasped at us when we finally joined her, "I'm freezing my non-existent balls off here!"

"We seem to be talking a lot about 'balls' today," remarked Marlene, "Call them the 'male genitalia' can't you?"

"Fine, my non existent male genitals…oh, sod it, let's just say I'm _really _cold and leave it at that."

It was funny, I mused, as we all went walking back up to the castle, how we had gone from hardly talking to each other to being friends in less than twenty four hours. Sure, I wasn't yet as comfortable around Ashleigh and Zea as I usually was around just Marlene, but that could only get better with time…

Marlene stopped abruptly right in front of me, causing me to head-butt her back and making both of us nearly fall over.

"What are you doing, you daft cow?" I shrieked at her, almost falling flat on my arse but grabbing onto her hair just in time. See what I mean? I wouldn't have said that to Ashleigh or Zea. But Marlene knows I don't mean it. Hopefully.

"Did you see that?" she breathed over her shoulder at me, ignoring my insult.

"No, all I saw was the back of your head as I whacked painfully into it."

She ignored that as well. "No! Look over there!"

She pointed a finger over at the Forbidden Forest, and grumpily I turned my throbbing head to look over there as well. The trees blew in a there's-nothing-there sort of way. From far off, I heard Ashleigh and Zea talking as they carried on up the hill without us.

I looked back at Marlene, but she was still staring over at the Forest with a fascinated look on her face. "What?" I asked, re-scanning the grounds with my eyes, "I can't see anything…"

Down near the base of the trees, I saw a white shape move. I swung my eyes down to look at it, and breathed in sharply. A milky-white stag was rubbing it's antlers on a tree, and stamping its hooves. I could see little white puffs of vapour coming from its nose.

"A stag?" I murmured in disbelief, "I've never seen one of those around here…"

"It gets better," said Marlene suddenly, and she pointed again, slightly to the right of the stag, "Are my eyes deceiving me, or is that a dog?"

And then I saw it as well. It was a dog alright, a black one, rolling happily on its back and kicking its paws in the air.

Errr…was I missing something here?

"Mar…you can see them too, right? A black dog and a white stag?"

"Yup." Well, that wasn't very reassuring. Remember, this is the girl who once swore blind she saw the tooth fairy, when all actually was was her night-light. Wanting more evidence, I turned my head and yelled up the slope "Ashleigh! Zea! Come back and look at this!"

I heard a sharp bark in the distance, and turning my head I saw the dog now on its feet and gazing up at us. Then, simultaneously, the two animals turned on their heels and vanished into the trees.

Ok then…now, either Marlene had spiked my lunch with fire whisky, I was going crazy, or there really were wild dogs and stags living in the forest…

0o0o0o0o0o0

**Hello there. Yes, you can all stop pretending to faint from shock now. I KNOW I took my time doing another chapter, but give me a break. I have my mock GSCE's in a week, and I've had about ten tonnes of coursework to finish as well. So you can't really blame me for taking longer than usual...I did try...**

**Although I am no good at revision, I am going to try my hardest to actually try and drill some informationinto my head this week. Which doesn't leave much room for this story. No, I haven't abandoned it, stop panicking...I'm just not very certain when I will be able to update again, okay? **

**And while I'm on the subject...anyone got any good tips for revision?**

**Love to you all, **

**Bubbles xxx**


	18. Of Imitating Maggots and Sad Snoggee's

"Lileeeeee…"

I grunted and mumbled into my pillow. Bed. Warm. Soft. Must not wake up.

"Lileeeeee…"

No! Must…fight…consciousness…

"Oi! Lily! You fell asleep naked and Potter's staring at you right now!"

No…sleeepeeeee…hang on…WHAT?

I opened my eyes and looked wildly down at myself. No, my black nightshirt was still safely covering me. Turning my head up, I met eyes with a grinning Marlene.

And no Potter.

"You cow, Marlene!" I muttered, sitting up and throwing my pillow at her with all my incredible strength.

It flumped sadly on the floor, about a million miles away from where Marlene was standing. She glanced at it, then shook her head in silence.

"Oh, shut up," I said grumpily, rolling out of bed and crawling towards the bathroom. Her eyebrow rose even higher.

"Is walking out of fashion, now?"

"It is in my world," I told her blearily, staring down at the carpet, "Especially when you've just woken up on a Monday morning and you have Transfiguration first – OW!"

My head collided painfully into the wall with a resounding thump. I curled up into a ball, nursing the top of my head. I heard a snigger behind me, and glared through my arms at the quietly cracking up Marlene.

The door swung open suddenly, and someone walked in. I was too busy glaring at Marlene to say anything. However, the next thing I knew I heard Katy's snooty voice say, "And, er, _why _does Lily appear to be imitating a maggot, on the floor, right in front of my bed?"

I eyeballed the blonde blob, which was all I could see of Katy through my hair. "And, er, _why _is it anything to do with you?" I asked her, imitating her voice perfectly. The effect was sort of ruined as I had my face pressed into the carpet, but the imitation was still pretty damn good.

I could almost smell her raised eyebrows. "I do actually need to get to my bed, Lily, so if you don't mind, could you get out of the way?"

I sat up at that, and glared at her through my scarlet tangles now flopping into my eyes, and then looked around. Her bed was about five feet away from me. I opened my mouth to make some sort of stinging comeback, and then realised I just couldn't be bothered with her that morning. So, climbing to my feet, I shot her one more scathing look and walked into the bathroom without another word.

I bet she thought she had the last word. Well, she hadn't. Yes, alright, maybe she had verbally said the last words, but I was being the bigger woman and walking away. So ha.

What was her problem with me, though? I thought furiously to myself as I switched on the shower and allowed it to rinse through my hair. She had never really been overly horrible to me before. Ever since I told her about how I kneed Potter…

I couldn't be bothered to think about it. Not all people could like you, anyway.

So why did I have a little knot of worry now settling into my stomach?

0o0

Here we were again. Me and Potter. Side by side, in Transfiguration. Oh, such joy.

I glanced sideways at Potter. He was tilting back his chair on the back two legs, chewing gum and staring at me. When I looked at him he didn't blink or look away. He just carried on staring. And chewing. With his mouth open.

Ew.

"…Miss Evans?"

I jumped and whipped my head around so fast I practically gave myself whiplash. Aragh, aragh, aragh, the pain. Putting up a hand to knead my knuckles into my now burning neck, I looked warily up at McGonagall. "Yes, Miss?"

She drummed her fingernails impatiently on her desk. "I asked you to repeat everything I just told the class."

Oh, bum. Bumnerania. She was still staring expectantly at me. My mind catapulted backwards and I tried to remember exactly what she had been wittering on about seconds before…nope. No good. Thanks a lot, brain.

"I, er, don't remember, Professor."

She raised her eyebrows mockingly. "Oh? You have a very poor memory, Miss Evans, not being able to remember what I was telling you ten seconds ago."

I felt my face burn as a few people giggled, and shuffled around in their seats, all the better to stare at me. What was I supposed to say to that, for heavens sake? Actually, Professor, I wasn't listening to you because you bore me to tears?

I _don't_ think so.

"You were not listening to me, Miss Evans, were you?"

Ok, stop talking to me now. Stop looking at me. Look somewhere else, for Merlins Sake…oh brilliant. The Great Fire of London was nothing compared to how my face was at that moment in time. And by that, I mean it was _red. _

I mutely shook my head. McGonagall nodded triumphantly as though my agreeing with her had just scored her ten points.

From next to me, I heard Potter mutter, "Ha ha ha…" under his breath. Then suddenly he added loudly, "Ah, look, she's gone red!"

A sea of faces turned towards me, ogling my bright crimson cheeks ("Wow! I bet I could cook my breakfast on that!" I could practically hear them thinking) McGonagall cleared her throat loudly, and everyone turned away again, leaving me a glowing, blushing wreck.

Thankfully, she carried on with her lesson without torturing me any longer, and I felt my shoulders sink with relief. Potter let his chair drop onto all four of its legs, and his stomach hit the desk with a thump, making the whole table shake vigorously. I scowled at the back of his head, as he had turned his back on me to mouth something at Black, who was two tables away. Why did he have to have such messy hair, I considered irritably. It was like he had never even seen a comb, let alone used one.

Finally, finally McGonagall set us some work and stopped lecturing us in favour of sitting down behind her desk and glaring beadily around at all of us. I sighed, loaded my quill with ink and set about answering the questions she had chalked up on the board. God, the boringness was killing me already, and we had only been in there ten minutes.

Potter nudged me suddenly, and the nib of my quill jogged, sending a nice inky blotch into the middle of my parchment.

"You wanker!" I whispered, staring at the inky puddle rapidly sinking through my work. I quickly picked up my wand and vanished it. It disappeared, but a faint blue stain still remained on my parchment. Dammit, I always was crap at vanishing spells.

I refilled the quill and started to write again, but another sharp elbow in my arm made me jog yet another word. Thoroughly pissed off, I looked up and saw Potter smirking at me.

"Do you mind?" I snarled at him. His grin grew wider.

"No," he replied simply, and jogged my arm again.

That was it. There was no way I was going to start writing again after that. Laying down my quill, I turned myself fully around so I faced him, and looked him right in the eye. He stared straight back, hardly able to keep the huge grin off his face.

My eyes suddenly fell to his nose. I blinked. I stared. His nostrils were flaring in and out with every breath he took…it was twitching! I snorted with laughter. "Your nose is twitching," I whispered behind my hand so McGonagall couldn't see me, "You look almost exactly like a rabbit."

He looked startled, and a hand flew to his nose before he could stop it. "You're lying!"

"No, I'm not…" His nostrils had stopped now, though. I'd have to look out for it in the future.

Thankfully, my comment seemed to have unnerved him enough to stop him from speaking to me for the rest of the lesson. A couple of times I thought I saw him worriedly feel his nose, and it was all I could do to stop myself from bursting out laughing. Ah, bless. I had got him all paranoid. I almost felt guilty…not.

Three hours later, I was seated in the Great Hall, watching as Marlene doled out chicken pie onto my plate, trying to stop myself wrinkling up my nose. Not that I hate chicken pie, or anything. Hell no, I love chicken pie. The actual reason was that I was trying very hard not to look at Potter snogging the living daylights out of some random girl, three seats away from me.

I'm not normally a squeamish person. Someone could shove, say, a bleeding arm at me and I wouldn't flinch. But the sight of Potter almost smothering a blond girl with his lips, right in front of me, when I was about to eat…urugh.

"There," said Marlene, pushing my plate towards me, "Eat."

"Thanks," I muttered, picking up my fork. My eyes strayed over to Potter and his snogee again. They were now making noises. And grinding against the table.

I put my fork back down.

"What's wrong?" asked Marlene, who was already tucking into her food like there was no tomorrow, "You're not eating."

"How am I supposed to eat with _them _practically making babies right in front of us?" I hissed back at her, staring pointedly over at Potter and the blond girl. I swear their kissing went up in intensity as I said that. As though they heard me.

"Just ignore them," Marlene said simply, helping herself to some roast potatoes. "Don't let them put you off your food, Lily. That means he's affecting you."

I stared at her. Potter's snogee made a weird kind of moaning sound, and I couldn't help but look at them again. Moaning? As if it wasn't really obvious she was kissing someone, she had to _moan _just to draw more attention to herself?

She did it again. Louder.

"Stop staring and start eating!" That was Marlene. And yeah, it was good advice, so I tore my eyes away and started cutting up my pie.

Until the table started shaking, that was. I glanced up, unable to believe it. They were now half leaning on the table, the girl's long hair almost dipping in the gravy boat. People around them were casting them odd looks and edging away. Suddenly, I found I couldn't take it any longer.

"Oi!" I shouted at them, "Can you two PLEASE get a bloody room? Some of us are trying to eat!"

With a horrible slurping, sucking noise, they both surfaced and looked around at me, and for the first time I got a proper look at the girls face.

My jaw dropped. "_Katy_?"

Her lower lip was bright red, but she sat there, her arm proudly around Potter, looking smugly at me. She tossed her hair. "Oh, hi, Lily."

Potter was looking weirdly triumphant as well. "What's wrong, Evans?" he asked me, "Jealous?"

I couldn't even begin to answer him. I glared at Katy instead. "Anything _but _jealous!" I snarled, "All I want is to eat my bloody lunch and all I can see is you trying to eat _his _head!"

She flipped her hair at that, looking smug. "We'll get out of your way then, shall we, James?"

"Yeah," he replied, taking her hand and standing up, "See you in detention, Evans."

I glared at both of them as they walked off. As I watched, Potter whispered something in Katy's ear, and she went into fits of high pitched giggles, glancing around at me. I stabbed moodily at my pie. Everyone was staring at me.

"So…" said Marlene eventually, breaking the silence, "Are you going to eat now?"

"Shockingly enough," I replied dryly, "I've lost my appetite."

I found it again five minutes later, once I had recovered from the shock, and pretty soon I was tucking into my chicken pie like I should have been.

Well. I wasn't going to let them put me off my food. Just as long as they kissed where I couldn't see them.

0o0o0o0o0o0

**I'M BACK! Did you all miss me? I bet you did. I bet you woke up every morning wondering if I had updated yet, cried when you saw I hadn't, went into chronic depression...nah, I'm only joking. Had you all going there, eh? Eh? (Sleezy nudge) **

**Right, well,some of you have all been slacking on the review front. I'm getting one-liners that tell me, yes, my story is funny (which is good) yes, you want me to update (which I will) and no, you don't have anything else to say on the matter. Come on, people, use your imaginations! I'm sure you can think of something else to say about my story! Telling me WHAT you actually liked about it would make me a very happy bunny indeed. (Cheesy grin.) Or you could pick a quote you liked from the chapter. Or tell me about rubber chickens and gravy, I don't know...**

**I still love you all though. As I have said before, velly velly mucho. Oh, and for another random poll, who can tell me which once-very-popular song is this lyric from? **

"**_Load up on guns, bring a friend, it's fun to lose and to pretend." _Stick your answer in your review if you know! **

**Peace out xxx**


	19. Detention Two: Trelawney

The rest of the week flew by.

Well, alright, it didn't _fly _by. I mean, in History of Magic, time just about crawled by without any feet. And Herbology was frankly terrible. We were put into groups. I was working with Ashleigh, a Ravenclaw called Damian, and Potter.

I won't go through the whole thing. But here's a snippet anyway, because we all know you're just dying to know what happened.

Me: (Working quietly. Well, not so quietly, seeing as we were working with Chinese Chomping Cabbages, and they keep latching onto your shirt and refusing to let go. So I was cursing quietly under my breath as I wrestled with it.)

Potter: Not too good at the old Herbology business, are ya, Evans?

Me: Aragh, you little git…no, come on, get off my robe - OUCH! THAT WAS MY FINGER, YOU TWAT! (Seizes trowl and starts beating the Cabbage fiercely around the head with it. Like I say, cursing quietly under my breath)

Potter: You know, maybe if you were a bit friendlier, people would like you more, and do what you say.

Me: (Distractedly) Potter, cabbages aren't people, you complete and utter moron.

Potter: But they have feelings too. Maybe that cabbage is trying to get to know you. Look, it's been ripped cruelly from its soil, it's tried to get some comfort from you, and all you do it beat it with a trowl. Frankly, I'm disgusted.

Me: (Looks down at cabbage. It's blinking up at me with big, sorrowful eyes. Maybe Potter has a point. So, I adopt a soothing, low voice.) Hello, cabbage-wabbage. Could you please get off my shirty-wirty for mummy-wummy?

Cabbage: (Snarls and starts tearing my shirt to shreds)

So as you can see, apart from those hours of _such fun _in the greenhouse and various classrooms, the week scampered along quite merrily by.

Unfortunately, that meant my next detention with Potter was also scampering merrily closer as well.

Which was, to put it simply, crap.

So anyway, it was a Friday evening, it was time for my second detention, I was feeling like crap, and to top it off, was walking to some teacher called Trelawney's office.

According to McGonagall, she lives at the top of the North Tower. Ze very top. My chest gave a wheezy rattle as I thumped up yet another spiral of stairs. This Trelawney must be either very fit or have incredibly long legs. Imagine having to climb up all these stairs every time you wanted to nip back to your office because you left, like, one book behind. I don't think I could stand it. I mean, I had only done about thirty steps and I was already about to pass out.

_Thumpety, thumpety, thump, _said my feet, clumping up the stairs.

Breathe in…(gasp) and out…said my brain.

_Thumpety…thumpety…thump, _my feet complained.

Shut up! Breathe in…(rattling gasp) and out…snapped my brain.

_Thump…thu…thu…I think we're dying down here_ whispered my feet.

No! Just keep moving! Breathe in…and out…

_Thu…thu…goodbye, cruel world…_

Feetie! NOOOOO!

"There was a man who had a dog, and Bingo was his name-o!"

I looked up as a huge, hyperactive outline of something horribly familiar came bounding up the stairs. Oh, for God's sake. Why can't he, for once, just not find me?

Potter came skipping around the loop of stairs, stopping when he saw me. I sneered up at him as he towered over me, one hand ruffling up his hair.

"What?" I snapped up at him, "Got something to say?"

"Yeah, actually. Why are you on the floor?"

I leant my elbows back on the step above me, stretching my legs out like I was really comfy. Because I go lounging on hard stone staircases every day, y'know. "Why not?"

He stared at me as though lost for words. Then he said: "You'll be late for Trelawney."

I shrugged. "So? She can wait."

He looked, if it was possible, even more shocked. "Aren't you worried about getting into trouble?"

Of course I bloody was. But saying that I wasn't seemed a whole lot better than admitting I had collapsed on the stairs from exhaustion. "Not really."

He stood there, staring at me for a few more minutes. I stared back. He stared at me some more. I stared back. He widened his eyes to frankly scary proportions and stared.

I blinked.

"Ha!" he shouted, pointing his finger at me, "I win!"

I raised an eyebrow. Or squinted, however you want to put it. "You win what?"

"You blinked, so I won! Ha ha ha!"

I climbed slowly to my feet, and looked at him with a pretty damn dignified air. He smirked back at me, rumpling up his hair, looking well pleased with himself.

"Yes, Potter," I said slowly, "If you say so." And with that, I turned around and continued on up the torturous stairs.

He soon caught up with me, however. Damn him and his long legs.

I wasn't in the mood for conversation. All of my effort was going into not passing out. Damn, but I should really work out more. I never realised I was so un-fit.

And why did Potter look so...so not worn out? I glanced sideways at him, and was horrified to see that he was _actually smiling as he mounted the stairs. _And humming. Merlin and all the saints, what was wrong with him?

Oh, my mistake, he wasn't humming. He was singing, now.

"Theeeeeere...was a man who had a dog and Bingo was his name-oh!"

Dear Lord.

"Q-U-V-C-T!"

Huh?

"Q-U-V-C-T!"

Okay...that was a new one.

"Q-U-V-C-T, and spelling was his problem!"

The landing of the North Tower had never looked so welcoming.

0o0

So, what could I say about the new Divination teacher? Well, she owned a lot of crystal balls and seemed to have a penchant for all things sparkly.

Oh, and she was as nutty as a fruitcake. That too.

I should have known from the second I saw her oversized glasses that she wasn't entirely sane. I mean, the second I climbed up that damn silvery ladder of hers, I looked up and nearly fell straight back down it again out of sheer terror. I mean, all I could see were these HUGE eyes looming at me out of the darkness, floating somewhere in the middle of the sparkliest, floatiest bit of material you had ever seen. Not to mention she was holding a large, round silver thing in her hand, which from my point of view looked like a very big bouncy ball.

ARRRRAAAAGH was my first thought.

RUUUNN AWAAAAAAY was my second.

OH CRAP NO I CAN'T POTTER'S BEHIND ME fast followed my third.

HANG ON POTTER MUST BE ABLE TO SEE RIGHT UP MY SKIRT came my fourth thought. Which was more than enough to get me scrambling madly into the loft, for I had just remembered what knickers I had put on that morning, and wishing I hadn't. So anyway, there we were, me lying in a heap on the floor, frantically covering my legs, Potter sticking his head through the hole, and the big-eyed monster bearing down on us armed with a bouncy ball. Hey, that rhymed. Kinda.

"Good evening," she whispered mystically, ignoring the fact that I was grovelling on the floor by her feet, "Welcome...welcome."

"Thanks," muttered Potter, clumping noisily up the ladder, then surprisingly offering me his hand. As I climbed back to my feet, he sniffed the air. "D'you smoke lavender fags, or something?"

"Don't be so stupid," I snapped at him, dusting myself down. Alright, I know it was bitchy, but being floored can do that to you. Plus I bet he _was _looking up my skirt when we were on the ladder. I sniffed at the air myself. "That's jasmine."

"Correct!" Trelawney looked impressed. "Such a coincidence you have noticed that, my dear...for it is with jasmine scented polish you clean my crystal balls, today."

Then she showed us these little stools to sit on, with shelves and shelves of crystal balls behind them. Along with a can of Mrs Skower's jasmine polish ('remove the stain, without the pain!') and we were ready to go.

"Make sure you put the crystal balls back on the shelves when you have finished, my dears!" trilled Trelawney's voice, floating up from the landing where she was doing…something. Cow. I was starting to hate her already. My head swam as I reached for another shiny ball, and I had to have several tries before I actually made my duster make contact with its surface. Urugh. That scent was making me feel nauseous. God, I hoped Potter wouldn't talk to me. In that state, I wouldn't be able to summon up my usual amount of wittiness. Cough.

"So, Evans. Are you having fun? Do you like polishing?"

"Shudup." See what I'm saying? Even I can usually come up with a better comeback than _that. _Potter, I could see, had clocked my dopey state, if his wide gleaming grin was anything to go by.

"I was only asking you a polite question! _Gosh_!" The mock-sincere tone in his voice was…um, very mocking. He was annoying me senseless and he knew it. Unfortunately, I didn't have the brain capacity to just ignore him.

"Shudup."

"Evans, I'm surprised at you. Usually you show a bit more imagination than that…"

"SHUT UP BEFORE I RAM THIS CRYSTAL BALL UP YOUR ARSE!"

He nodded approvingly. "That's more like it."

I groaned loudly, and thunked the crystal ball against my forehead. "Potter. I don't think you're taking the hint. I. Want. You. To. Shut. UP!"

"Or what?"

"Or I'll…I'll…" I struggled, hoping for inspiration. Then it came to me. "Or I'll tell Katy that you're two-timing her!"

He gave me a genuinely blank look. "Who?" Light suddenly dawned on his face, and he grinned at me. "Oh, THAT Katy."

I looked at him in disbelief. "You can't remember your own girlfriends name?"

"Why should I? It's not like I spend my time _talking _to her."

I felt like vomiting, an image falling into my head that I did NOT want there. "God, Potter, spare me the details!"

"You asked."

I sat there, struggling for an insult. And none came to me. Dang nabbit. "Shudup."

He laughed, then shoved two crystal balls at me. "Put these back on the shelves." He jerked his thumb at the shelves. "Please," he added as an afterthought.

Well, seeing as he said please.

Wearily, I heaved myself to my feet, simultaneously balancing two heavy balls in my hands. Toddling sleepily to the shelves, I squinted up at the dark, hollow shelves, trying to figure out where to put them. There were two available spaces, but…ah.

Evans, we have a problem.

The holes were about two arms lengths away from the top of my head. Oh, why did I have to inherit the average height gene? Why couldn't I have been born someone as tall as Potter, just so I could solve my problem at this moment?

So, I had but two solutions. One: I could try hurling the balls up to the spaces. Which wasn't really the best of ideas, I didn't fancy a huge crater-like dent in my forehead for the rest of my life. Or two, I could try some alternative method.

I'm not really sure what happened next, but somewhere in my jasmine possessed mind a idea sprang up, telling me to try climbing the shelves, and the next thing I knew, I was half way up the shelves with the crystal balls shoved down my jumper.

So there I was, looking as though I had just sprouted size X tits, clinging to a rickety bunch of shelves for all the world as though I was a large breasted form of spider-man.

Smooth, Evans. Real smooth.

Somewhere along the line Potter chanced a glance up at me. Perv. Probably just looking for an eyeful of my underwear again.

"Evans! What the hell are you doing?"

I shot him a scathing look out of the corner of my eye. "Taking a bloody bath, what does it look like?"

"Get down from there, for Merlin's sake, you'll break your neck!"

I giggled feebly. "That rhymed. You're a know-it and you didn't po -et!"

"Evans, for God's sake, I'm being serious! Get _down_!"

Something about the panic in his voice actually stopped me for a moment, and I paused in action of reaching up for another shelf. "But I'm nearly there!" I said plaintively, "Just a bit higher!"

"Evans. Get. Down. NOW!"

Whoa. Potter had entered Scary Potter mode. And trust me, Potter's angry voice smashing into you like a shock-wave while you're clinging to a lot of shelves can seriously make you stop and think about what you're doing.

"Oh, _alright_," I moaned, "I'll come back down, if it'll stop you squeaking at me."

Ha. Easier said than done. As I cautiously lowered my foot to touch the lower shelf, my fingers dislodged a crystal ball above me. Looking up, I caught a passing glimpse of a very large, shiny bouncy ball heading on an unhappy path straight for my face.

One minute, I was dangling from a lot of shaky shelves. And the next minute, the shelves simply weren't there any more.

**0o0o0o0o0o0o0**


	20. Caught me when I fell?

The sound of smashing glass was all around me. My legs kicked and my arms did windmill impressions and my arse was bracing itself for a _very _crunchy landing indeed…when, somehow, it all seemed to stop for a moment. Something was cradling my body tightly, but it was also moving… And then I was falling again…and my whole body gave a violent jolt as I made impact with the ground.

It came to me at that moment that my eyes were scrunched up so tightly that my face was all pulled out of proportion, like putty. The second thing that registered was that my cheekbone was hurting like _hell, _and when I say hell, I mean the fiery pits of Hades kind of thing. I whimpered very softly, and clung to the only solid thing I could find in my dark, pain exploding world.

"Evans! Are you alright?"

I very slowly opened my eyes. Potter's blurred face peered at me, looking panic stricken…and kind of wonky. Hmm. Strange.

"I've just had a crystal bowling ball smash into my face, Potter," I found the energy to snarl at him, "But apart from that, I'm just hunky-dory, thanks for asking."

His face was very close for some reason…actually, now I came to think about it, it seemed I was actually looking _down _at him…

"Hey, I've just had _you _land on top of me, but do you hear me complaining?" He gave a wheezy kind of chuckle. "Hey, Evans, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? No, but it sure as hell hurt me!"

"Hilarious, Potter," I muttered into his chest. He was actually quite comfortable to lie on top of…and his arms were wrapped around my back, doing quite nicely as a duvet…

"WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON HERE?"

That was when I looked up and saw Trelawney standing over us, a horrified look on her face.

And that was when I blacked out.

0o0

Never before had I woken up to such sheer pain. I mean, honestly, my whole face felt like it was about to fall off, it hurt that bad.

Suddenly, something freezing cold made contact with my cheek, and I shrieked in pain, sitting up so fast that my head cracked into something very hard. Pretty soon there were two voices yelling in all their pained glory.

"Miss Evans, pull yourself together!"

Ah, now I knew where I was. There was only one voice in the world that could make my name sound like a filthy swear word. "Madam Pomfrey?" I whispered hoarsely, easing open my eyes. One of them felt oddly swollen and heavy. "What's happening?"

Pomfrey was nursing her head with a bright yellow cloth which reminded me unpleasantly of my duster. Flinging me a look which must have _invented_ the phrase 'if looks could kill' she soaked it in a bowl of chilled blue liquid, and pursed her lips.

"I was hoping you would tell me that, Miss Evans. According to Professor Trelawney, you broke her favourite crystal ball when kissing Mr Potter - "

"WHAT?" I yelled, and my cheek gave searing throb, making me wince and clamp my hand over it, which made me scream even more. "You're joking, right?" I managed to get out, once my cheek had returned to some degree of pain under 'excruciating.'

Pomfrey looked most offended. "I do not joke, Miss Evans," she said severely, "But let us discuss it after I have seen to your cheek." She pressed the icy cloth to my burning cheek again, and I forced myself to stay silent. Inside, my mind was going crazy with thoughts. I could _not _have been kissing Potter. Nuh-uh. Not in a month of Plutonian Sundays. An image of a crystal ball connecting agonisingly with my face swam into my memory, fast followed with Potter saying "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" And that was when Trelawney came along…

Oh my God.

I had been lying on top of Potter.

And she…

She must have thought that we were…

Sweet. Holy. Moley.

"Madam Pomfrey!" I gasped, jerking my head around, "Me and Potter are NOT lovers!"

Ok…and I did _not_ just say that…

Pomfrey raised an eyebrow. "I never said you were."

"No, I mean, we weren't making out! We're just good friends!" As the eyebrow rose even higher, I smacked my palm to my forehead, and promptly yelled in pain. "I mean, no! We're NOT good friends! In fact, I hate him, and he hates me! We're arch enemies!"

Pomfrey remained looking unconvinced. And no wonder, seeing as I was sounding guilty as anything. "Mr Potter also denied being 'romantically' involved with you." She allowed a small sneer to quirk her lips, which looked totally stupid and made me want to burst out laughing. "His story was that you had been foolishly climbing some shelves, when a crystal ball rolled off the shelf and made impact with your face. At this point, you lost your balance and fell backwards off the shelves. According to Mr Potter, he then caught you in his arms, before falling over himself due to your weight unbalancing him."

I nodded furiously. "That's right! That's absolutely - "

I paused. She had said Potter had caught me in his arms. And that, that couldn't't be true. I had fallen on top of him. Hadn't I?

Pomfrey was speaking again, and with a massive effort I pulled myself back to Planet Here And Now and made myself listen. "…need to hold this sponge to your cheek for ten minutes before I heal the bone. Then I want you to go straight to bed." She handed me the sopping wet, cold sponge, and turned away, walking to someone standing at the other end of the Wing. Slapping the sponge obediently on my face, I followed her with my eyes, then focused on the person she was now talking quietly to. My stomach gave a jolt of surprise.

Moony.

He was standing there, his slightly wavy, long-ish, honey brown hair flopping into his eyes, making him push it out of the way with one hand. His other hand, however, was held by the wrist by Pomfrey, who was inspecting it closely.

"Nothing too serious," I just heard her say in a low voice, "But I'll put something on it anyway, just in case." She let his hand drop, and turned to a large medical cabinet on her left. As he waited, Moony's eyes roved around the room, and finally landed on me.

Bleargh. That felt weird.

It was odd. The second his eyes made contact with mine, my stomach gave a funny kind of leap, like I was walking down the stairs and thought I was at the bottom, when there was really one more to go. He inclined his head slightly, and a small smile tugged at his lips. I sat there, blinking like a friggin' fish, then smirked somewhat breathlessly back.

Oh God. Now he was frowning. Probably because I looked like a leering vampire lusting for his blood.

Bum. And now he was walking over, leaving Pomfrey to rummage around in her cupboard. "Hi," he said simply, sitting down on my bed with a groan of bedsprings.

"Hiya!" I almost _shouted _back, then giggled randomly. Oh God. My face was going red. Quick - quick, think of ice, freezing cold ice, in a fridge…no, better yet, stick that cloth on your face again. Hastily, I slapped the cloth on my boiling cheek-bone, missed, and whipped myself in the eye.

Classic, Lily. Just classic.

"Did you mean to do that?" asked Moony, his lips quivering as he looked at me now rubbing frantically at my eye and blushing worse than ever.

"Of - of course!" I stuttered, trying to grin through my tears of immense pain, "Nothing like a good cloth in the eye to wake you up!" I did it again, feebly, to demonstrate. His lips trembled worse than ever.

"Might try that some time," he said gravely. "I came over to ask why you're here?"

"Oh! I - er - got smashed in the face with a bowling ball. I mean, crystal ball." I giggled again. Just like that. For no reason whatsoever. "It wasn't very fun!"

It wasn't very fun. Oh my Lord, what the hell was I turning in to? _Katy? _

He frowned again, and my blush deepened. "How did a crystal ball come to be hitting you in the face?"

"Ah, well, you see, I was climbing up a load of shelves with two balls stuffed up my jumper - er, that sounds wrong, but oh well, and, one rolled off a shelf and…and hit me on the cheek-bone." I trailed off lamely. He was still frowning.

"Did this happen when you were with James?"

I stared at him for a moment, before finally remembering that Potter's first name is 'James.' "Oh - yeah. I blacked out, so I don't remember much, but apparently he caught me when I fell off the shelves."

"Did he now?" For some reason, Moony was looking highly amused. I grinned stupidly back, though I'm sure the amused look wasn't for me.

"Yeah, he did. Stupid git."

Alright, I'm not sure how that one slipped out. Moony laughed slightly. "You know he probably saved your life when he caught you?"

"Great, I owe my life to Potter. My nightmare has been realised." My voice was dry, but inwardly I was delighted to have made Moony laugh. He raised an amused eyebrow at me.

"Is he really that terrible to you?"

"Yes, he really is."

"But he did catch you when you fell - isn't that an old clichéd saying?"

I shuddered. "Do you really have to say it like _that_?"

"Mr Lupin!" Pomfrey was walking over, a jar of some orange paste or cream in her hand. "Let me apply some of this to your finger, then you're free to go."

I glanced down as Moony lifted up his hand, and extended the right forefinger. I winced slightly, for on the tip of it was a raw, shiny looking burn.

"Did you burn that on the fire?" I asked, watching as Pomfrey started dabbing bits of cream onto it.

Both of them paused, for a split second. Then Pomfrey carried on with the cream, her lips slightly more pressed together. Moony turned his head and smiled at me.

"Yeah. You might say that."

Sadly, he went about five minutes later, leaving me to sit there with a freezing sponge on my face, wondering about the mysteries of life. And the main mysteries were: 1) How had I managed to unintentionally wriggle my way out of detention, 2) Why that cost me my cheek bone when people like Potter did it virtually without pain, and 3) Why was it that I had developed a crush on Moony Lupin over five minutes when I wasn't even sure of his real name…

**0o0o0o0**

**Well, I bet none of you expected THAT, now did ya?**

**Currently, I am trying very hard not to jump up and down with happiness - oh the hell with it, I'll jump anyway. (Jumps and squeals) Ok, I'm done now. **

**What am I so happy about...well...for starters, you lot gave meTWENTY-EIGHT REVIEWS for my last chapter. I mean, bleaugh? Twenty EIGHT? This has broken the record, guys...!(Squeal) **

**For seconds...many, many new people have been reviewing.Which also makes me happy. And thirdly - some of those reviews that you gave me last time made me almost kiss the screen in happiness. Seriously. Because they were SO NICE! And helpful, and inspiring and stuff. Quite a few of them made my day, in fact. You should all be very proud. (Tosses roses)**

**So...once again, tell me what you liked, didn't like, what you think will happen etc. Love you ALL!**

**Peace out xxx **


	21. You DROPPED me?

The next morning, I sat around feeling rather sad and sorry for myself.

Well, are you trying to say that you WOULDN'T be feeling sorry for yourself, in my position? I had, overnight, managed to develop a crush on someone who: a) was Potter's friend, b) was smarter than me and c) had a name I really wasn't too sure about. Add all that to the fact that I was being forced to endure Potter weekly, and it all equals one thing:

I was screwed.

I took another mouse-sized bite from my toast, trying to chew it softly to prevent jarring my cheek, which just about failed miserably. I mean, trying to eat toast quietly is like trying to lick your elbow, ie: IMPOSSIBLE.Unless you're double jointed, but unfortunatley, I wasn't.

As for the girls, god, they just weren't speaking to me at all. Ever since I had walked in from my detention last night, and I had, er, been in a rather bad mood…and spoken rather harshly…

_Flashback_

Me: Stamps in through the portrait Slams portrait, making the Fat Lady wail Shut UP, you miserable cow!

Marlene: Bounds over Lily, you're early! How'd it go?

Me: Don't ask.

Zea: Oh my gosh! What HAPPENED to your cheek - it looks really sore!

Me: Don't ask.

Marlene: Oh, but…

Me: I SAID DON'T BLOODY ASK! Kicks a stool over on my way towards the stairs

_End flashback. _

So now, obviously, we were all sitting in rather awkward silence, while I carefully ate my toast in between slapping a hand to my cheek. Hey, just 'cause the bone's mended doesn't mean it isn't tender still.

"So! Zea!" Marlene began, in a rather forced, bright voice, "Did you finish that Charms essay?"

"Er…" mumbled Zea, shooting the tiniest of glances at me. "Yes."

There was a long silence.

"And did you - um - _enjoy _doing it?" pressed Marlene in a terribly stilted voice.

"Not really."

"Right! So, er, _Ashleigh, _did you find your Transfiguration homework…nice?"

"It was ok," she replied softly, her long-lashed, dark green eyes swivelling in my direction. I began to feel as though I was sitting under a very bright spotlight.

"Well then," Marlene stammered, evidently racking her brains for something else to talk about, "Er - gosh, this toast is yummy! I don't think I've ever eaten - "

Oh, for God's sake. If I let it go on for much longer they'd be discussing the weather next. "Alright, alright!" I said wearily, cutting Marlene short, "Ask whatever you want."

It was as though I'd said I was really made of chocolate; the words had barely passed my lips when they all sprang forwards in their seats as though a live wire had just gone up their spine.

"So tell us what - "

"I would really like to - "

"Did Potter - "

"Your cheek, your cheek!"

"Whoa!" I said, holding up my hand, unable to stop myself smiling as they all looked eagerly at me, "Say that all again in English."

They exchanged glances. Then at the exact same time they said simultaneously: "What happened last night?"

I looked around at them. Zea and Marlene looked as though they were about to fall off their benches in excitement, whereas Ashleigh was looking mildly amused. All the same, their curiosity was really quite funny to watch. And rather flattering. I tossed back my head slightly, straightened up to look all the more dramatic, and opened my mouth to recount last nights thrilling adventure.

"Well, it all began - "

"Oy, Evans."

Slightly annoyed, I glanced around, about to tell whoever it was to sod off and leave me alone. When I saw who it was, whoever, my mouth closed with a snap.

Well, would you tell the bloke who had probably saved your life to 'sod off?'

"Sod off, Potter," snapped Zea, neatly doing it for me, "If you and your mates are just here to annoy us, then you can…" she trailed off, and glanced around, looking rather confused. "Where _are _your mates?"

Potter ignored her. "Evans," he said, looking down at me, a hand running through his hair. Momentarily, I felt my upper lip twitch in annoyance. God – must he always play with his bloody hair!

"What d'you want?" I asked, trying to sound brisk, snappy, but not too rude. After all…if he really _did _catch me…

He flashed me an awkward grin, making me flinch slightly in shock. Blah? Potter was _smiling _at me? "I was justwonderinmimblewimble."

At least, that was what it sounded like.

"Huh?" I asked, sounding like a moron but self-assured I didn't sound as stupid as him. "Say that all again?"

"I _said,_" he repeated, the hand jumping obsessively to the nape of his neck, "I was just wondering how your, er, your cheek is." He shrugged nonchalantly as though to say he couldn't care less, really, and stuck his hands in his pockets.

I didn't believe it for a second. "Alright, who dared you to do this?"

He frowned at me. "This isn't a - "

"Don't lie to me, Potter! Since when have you cared about how _I _am?"

He shook his head, looking almost taken aback. "You're too damn touchy, Evans. I'm just concerned – I was the one who had to carry you to the Hospital Wing!"

This dramatic sentence provoked noises of interest from the rest of my friends, and a few other random people passing by as well. I felt my face start to heat up slightly. "Well, that wasn't very intelligent, was it?" I snapped at him out of sheer embarrassment, "You should have levitated me!"

"I did, most of the way, but after I'd dropped you for the third time…"

I couldn't believe my ears. "You _dropped _me?"

"Concentrating on levitating someone and walking down a thousand flights of stairs at the same time is no mean feat, Evans!"

I couldn't help but snort at that. "A thousand flights, what an exaggeration!"

People were starting to gather, looking on in interest. "It's not a friggin' spectator sport!" I yelled at them, "Mind your own business!"

Potter was still looking at me, his lip curled in disgust. "Just forget it then, eh?" he snapped, "I'm sure your cheek must be fine, judging by the amount of whining you do with it."

And with that, he turned and shoved his way violently through the people watching, his back stiffened with anger.

I watched him go, feeling faintly disturbed.

It was Zea who broke the silence. "So…carry on with the story, Lily?"

0o0

The rest of the morning passed without any major event. After lunch, however, I suggested that we should all be doing some revising as we had a Potions exam on Monday, and none of us had been doing much studying.

Unfortunately, the other girls weren't too happy at the prospect.

"Come off it, Lily!" moaned Marlene as I dragged her through the library doors amid glares of Pince the librarian. "We have all of tomorrow to study, why should we waste our Saturday?"

"_Because_," I whispered, throwing her bodily into a chair at a table, "Come tomorrow, you'll be saying: 'Oh, come on, Lils! We still have five minutes before the exam tomorrow, let's enjoy our Sunday!' And I do not want that happening again!"

Marlene rolled her eyes at that. "I'm a last-minute kind of girl, ok?"

"No! It's not ok! The last time you persuaded me to do that, I ended up with a P in our Herbology test!"

"But this is Potions, Lily! You're good at Potions!"

"Yes," I nodded vigorously, "And I want to REMAIN good in Potions!"

She glared sulkily up at me as I pulled out half a dozen books from the shelves and dumped them all on the table. We sat there and looked at them in silence.

"Okay," I said, gingerly poking the mouldiest one, "Take your pick."

Marlene was surveying the books with a revolted look on her face. "That one has _fungus _on it!"

"Adds to the flavour."

She frowned at me. "Are you saying that you actually eat books?"

"Why, don't you?"

I managed to keep a straight face for about ten seconds, before the look on her face had me cracking up. Then she started laughing as well, when she finally cottoned on.

"Okay," I giggled, after a good few minutes, "How about I dictate some of this stuff and you make notes?"

Her laughter fell off her face at once. "You're not going to let this go, are you?"

"Nope."

She heaved a huge sigh, but pulled out her notebook and quill anyway, loaded it with ink, and poised it above the book, looking at me in an expectant, I-can't-believe-you've-dragged-me-into-this kind of way.

I chose the least mouldiest-looking book, and flipped it open to squint at the faded, cramped text.

"Chapter One: Cauldron Stirring," I began, squinting at the page, and Marlene began writing. "When a potion is mixed for the first time, the correct way to stir it all depends upon the ingredients. If, for example, Mandrake bile is used, the mixture must not be stirred any more than three times throughout the boiling…are you getting all this?"

"Yeah," muttered Marlene, her eyes glued to the page, "No…more…than three times. Right. Gotcha."

I looked back down at the book. Oh, God. This thing on Cauldron Stirring went on forever. I decided to skip a few paragraphs. "'If any kind of plant is used in the Potion, such as fluxweed, the stirring must always go counter-clockwise. If a concoction containing fluxweed is mixed improperly, the results can be explosive.' Well, that explains why we got covered in orange goo last year, remember?"

Now, I know this wasn't exactly the world's funniest thing to say, but I was kind of expecting Marlene to giggle or something. Even if she followed it up directly by telling me how terribly un-funny that incident was.

"Uh-huh," mumbled Marlene, her quill racing along the page. "Gotcha."

Wow. She was taking this pretty seriously. Slightly put-out, I looked back down at the book.

"Erm…this reaction can be over-come if the fluxweed is picked on a lunar eclipse…" I glanced up again. She was _still _writing.

Somehow, that just didn't seem right.

"Hey, Mar?" I asked casually, leaning forwards, "Let me see your notes."

She looked up at once, an odd look on her face. "Oh, you don't want to do that, you'll never be able to read my writing," she said easily.

A little _too _easily. "Marlene, I've been reading your writing for over four years now. I think I'll be able to work it out."

"No, you won't! Really!" Marlene coughed nervously, covering up the page with her hand, but I was too quick for her, and in a matter of two seconds the book was in my arms.

"Come off it, I can read your writing easy as…" I looked down, and fell silent. The entire page, with many squiggles and curls and doodled boxes, was covered in the phrase: "I HATE POTIONS."

I looked up at Marlene, who refused to meet my eyes. "I get…easily distracted, ok?" she squeaked, somewhat unhappily. I shook my head in silence.

"Oh, Marlene."

**0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

**MERRY CHRISTMAS! Yes, here's my present to all of you wonderful people - a new chapter. Yes, it may not be the most exciting one in the world, and fine, it's not the longest one either, but get ready. Next chapter is seriously long. I was rather impressed with myself. When I looked over it yesterday I got the proud feeling of "DID I DO THAT?" **

**God rest ye, merry hippogriffs! **

**Peace Out! **

**Bubbles xxx**

**PS: And thank you those who reviewed my Christmas one-shot 'Desperate Times.' If anything got Christmas spirit into me, it was those reviews! **


	22. Detention Three: Flitwick

It was a Monday morning. Half an hour ago, I had tumbled out of bed. Ten minutes ago, I had been munching sleepily on breakfast, struggling not to fall asleep in my cereal. I really did not need people asking me stupid questions at that particular time.

Or at any time, in fact.

"Hey, Evans, I heard you and Potter are going out now. That true?"

I stared in horror at the bluntly curious, slightly sneering fifth year Ravenclaw I don't even speak to. In fact, I wasn't even entirely sure of her name. "Excuse me?" I asked incredulously, "Where the _hell _did you hear that?"

She shrugged, chewing her gum with her mouth open, dark eyes looking me up and down. "It's been going around."

I stared at her, for a moment totally speechless. "No!" I snapped forcefully, when my tongue recovered from the shock, "It is absolutely _not _true, and anyone who believes it is a gullible retard!"

Shoving my way brutally past her, I just about heard her say loudly, "_God, _I was only asking!" but I failed to feel any sympathy for her. Stupid cow. Who the hell did she think she was?

I stormed up the corridor, glaring at the floor. Inside, I was starting to experience rather large pangs of panic. Was the whole school talking about this? And could it…could it possibly be anything to do with mine and Potter's last detention with Trelawney? No, I told myself furiously, it can't be. It must just be some stupid rumour that girl made up. No point in worrying about it…

Too lost in my own thoughts, I strode straight around the corner without looking up, and ended up smacking heavily straight into someone.

Oh, classic. I could see today was going to be a good day already.

"Sorry," I muttered awkwardly, making to side-step them without bothering to look up, but a hand seized my arm and forced me painfully to a stop.

"Sorry! You should be more than effing _sorry, _Lily Evans!" Oh, God. Dreading the worst, I looked up and met eyes with Katy's incensed blue glare.

"I didn't do it!" I blurted out stupidly, "It's just gossip, I swear!"

Her face contorted horribly. "You bitch, Lily! I _knew _there was something going on, I bet it was you who seduced him as well! Two-timing little _cow_!" And before I knew what was happening, she had dealt me a stinging slap. Right on my ex-broken cheek bone.

Ouch. Ouch. And double-flipping-ouch. I screamed out loud because of the sheer pain, the recently knitted bone throbbing dully once again. I jerked myself away from her grip.

"For God's sake, Katy, I didn't do anything with your sodding boyfriend!" Urugh, the implication made me feel sick. Hey, that was good, say it out loud. "The thought makes me SICK!" People were starting to run over, all eager and excited at a prospect cat-fight starting in the corridors. They formed a ring around us, forcing a horribly trapped feeling onto me. I felt like I was in a bloody arena. Katy was still snarling at me, yet when I looked closer I could see her eyes were sparkling with tears.

"Don't you _dare _lie to me, you stupid cow! I overheard that Trelawney woman telling McGonagall so!"

"Well, you heard wrong, didn't you?" I snapped back at her, "There is nothing going on between me and Potter!"

"There had BLOODY BETTER NOT BE!" Katy screamed, her cheeks scarlet with rage, her hands twisted into fists. "Because if there is, then I will KILL you!"

Things might have gone further, hell, I had even started feeling inside my robe for my wand, but the next moment I heard someone manfully parting the crowd, and a voice saying forcefully, "Now then, come on, can't you sort this out in your own time? We all have lessons to be going to…"

I glanced scornfully over at the Prefect practically thrusting his badge under our noses. Then my eyes focused. Oh my giddygod. Moony.

His eyes did some focusing of his own, and his reluctantly authorative expression snapped into a rather shocked one. "Lily? What on earth are you doing?"

My knees trembled somewhat, and I could hardly meet his eyes. Oh sweet Merlin's socks, what must he think of me? His fellow Prefect causing a fight? Oh, class, Lily, he was sure going to be ever so impressed by me now.

"Uh," I muttered, my defensive anger deflating rapidly, "That would be…erm. Doesn't matter." My cheeks burnt bright red, and without looking at anyone, I shoved my way through the crowd and practically ran away. Shaking violently, my heart beating a furious drum roll, I let my strides carry me faster and faster away from the seething crowd. This had gone too far – much too far. People were decking me over a ridiculous rumour that could never be true. Hardly able to see straight, my trembling fingers found the appropriate classroom door and without hesitation, I dived through it.

The first thing I saw was Potter's messy haired head sitting at our desk.

"Potter," I said grimly as I approached him, ignoring McGonagall and the other few early arrivers in the room, "We need to talk."

He snapped his head up to look at me at once, the expression on his face oddly guarded. "Why? What about?"

"Have you heard latest piece of gossip Hogwarts is thriving on at the moment?" I snarled, dropping my bag on the floor and sliding into my seat. He regarded me with a raised eyebrow, then leant casually back in his chair.

"Oh, _that_. What are you stressing about? It'll all be blown over by next week."

I gaped at him, unable to believe his couldn't-care-less attitude. "Well," I said shakily, struggling hard to contain my anger, "It would have been nice for you to have told _your girlfriend _that, before she starts going around _slapping people_!"

He stared blankly at me. "Who?"

Oh, for crying out loud. "Your GIRLFRIEND, Potter!" I all but yelled at him, "You know, Katy? Ring any bells in that thick head of yours?"

He raised his eyes skywards, and shook his head. "Ancient history, Evans. She's not my girlfriend any more – I dumped her last night."

Well. That was unexpected. I sat there blinking at him, temporarily thrown. Then finally it clicked. "For Merlin's sake!" I muttered, burying my face in my hands, "No wonder she was so friggin' upset!"

"Why, what did she do?" His voice sounded casual, totally unconcerned. I raised my head, and looked him right in the eye.

"Slapped me across the face."

He chuckled slightly. "Wow, she must have been angry."

Just like that. I glowered at him, hardly able to believe it. "That slap hurt, you know, Potter!"

He shot me a look, eyebrows once again raised. Damn him and his eyebrows. "Ah, grow some balls, Evans. I've been slapped more times than a baby's arse, but I don't whine."

I was just about to add to his famous slap-count, when McGonagall said loudly, "Miss Evans and Mr Potter, as much as the workings of your lives fascinate us all, could you please save the rowing until after my class? You see, I would rather like to begin my lesson."

And with that, we both flung our heads forward to listen to her, and didn't say another word for the rest of the hour.

The rest of the week passed by in a similar fashion. I couldn't go anywhere without being stopped by totally random people asking me if I was going out with Potter. Several times I was stalked by a few of Katy's Ravenclaw mates, who all shouted abuse and threw badly-aimed objects at me.

"I don't get it," said Zea on the Wednesday in the middle of lunch, as the third paper ball went zooming past us, missing us by yards. "If they want to have it out with you, why don't they just come up and argue with you? Why do they have to throw stuff?"

"They're getting better," remarked Ashleigh dryly, watching the fourth paper ball fly past her school bag (sitting about a metre away from her, mind you) "With every throw they get closer to us by about an inch."

"Yeah," snorted Marlene, "Come next year they might actually hit one of us."

The girls from Ravenclaw leered and cat-called. One of them lobbed a chop-stick at me (it was noodles for lunch) and it clattered sadly on the floor, about a foot away from my leg.

"Try aiming!" Zea yelled at them, "Then maybe you'll actually hit one of us!"

They all sneered and tossed their hair. One of them spoke up. "We're not throwing stuff at you!" she said, glaring at me, "We're doing it to _her_, because she stole our friend's boyfriend!"

"Oh yeah?" replied Zea, swinging her legs over the bench and standing up to tower over them. Her expression was one of deep-seated menace. "Well, anyone who throws stuff at my friends throws stuff at me too. And let me warn you, I can hold a grudge for a very long time…" She twirled her wand menacingly. It seemed they finally got the message, because they all disappeared soon after that.

"Thanks," I muttered to Zea when she sat back down, feeling marginally better.

"No problem," she replied airily, before going straight back to her food.

Come Friday, I was incredibly pissed off.

Seriously. Almost every day, I would find myself within a five-metre range of Potter, someone would wolf-whistle piercingly, Katy would glare at me with eyes full of tears, Katy's mates would start chucking stuff, Potter would show up, and it would all begin again.

It was a vicious circle.

Come Friday evening, I was very close to tears, actually. Storming in through the portrait, I threw myself bodily into a sofa in the coldest, darkest part of the common room where no-one could see me, and lay there with my face rammed under a cushion.

Hey, it had been a _very _long week.

That was how Potter found me an hour later. And let me tell you, he scared the hell out of me when he poked me squarely in the stomach with no warning whatsoever.

"Ready to go, Evans?" he asked cheerfully, once I had gotten over my surprised squeaking fit. When I failed to give a response, he peeled the cushion away from my face, and stood there looking quizzically down at me.

"Go 'way," I muttered, trying as best as I could to hide my face in the arm of the sofa. He continued to stand there, looking at me, but when I glanced up at him he had turned around, and had his back to me. For a moment I wondered if he was going away, but then the next instant he had sat himself down on the sofa, his back leaning against my stomach, so it kind of looked like I was curled around him.

Which, with the current rumours circling about, I did _not _want at all.

"Get off!" I shrieked in a whisper (if that's possible) and kicked him with my legs. In response, he only leaned back and pinned me against the sofa. I kneed him furiously in the small of the back, then struggled into a sitting position. When I had finally freed my legs, I jumped up at once. He laughed lightly at me as I stood there brushing my skirt down.

"Knew that would get you up."

"Git," I muttered grumpily, picking up my bag and slinging it over my shoulder. Without waiting for him, I turned and made my way towards the portrait hole, and pretty soon I heard his thumping footsteps close behind me. As we climbed through the portrait together, I heard someone wolf-whistle, and the entire common room dissolve into laughter. Enraged, I made to turn back, but Potter pushed me through before I had a chance to say anything.

"Don't," he murmured, as the Fat Lady swung shut, "There's no point."

"No point!" I repeated loudly, glaring daggers at the stern Fat Lady raising her eyebrows at me, "It would make me feel better, and that's a bloody good point!"

"Trust me, Evans," he said, inclining his head, indicating for me to follow him as he started up the corridor, "They'd just find it hilariously funny and do it again."

I grudgingly walked with him, though I was still sorely tempted to stick my head back through the portrait and give the entire common room a piece of my mind. "How can you put up with it?" I burst out, after a few minutes of walking in silence. "How can you just take it so calmly? Then again," I added, narrowing my eyes at a couple of Ravenclaw's trotting past, "_You're _not the one who gets stalked by girls who all like throwing things at you…"

He shrugged. "Why do you care about what other people think of you?"

"I don't," I replied automatically. At his sceptical look, however, I relented somewhat. "Oh, alright, maybe I do. But it's hard not to care. Especially when people go out of their way to tell you what they think of you."

He nodded slowly, almost thoughtfully. "True. But for me, I would only care if the people I actually cared about myself hated me. Not about a load of girls not even sharing the same house as me."

Whoa. That was actually quite…deep. Coming from him, anyway. I looked at him out of the corner of my eye. He was walking along, a serious sort of frown on his face, not even rumpling up his hair.

Odd. I realised I hadn't answered him. "Oh – absolutely," I said, trying to sound all wise and solemn, to match him. "Er – of course, if it were my friends who hated me, I would be devastated."

"Or family," he added, nodding.

"Or…family," I agreed faintly. An image of Petunia's sneering face flashed into my head, and I felt a rush of heavy, painful emotion build unexpectedly in my chest. _She _acted like she hated me, and she was my only sister…I hastily pushed the image away. For Merlin's sake, I hissed internally, stop acting like a bloody cry-baby.

"Hey, Potter," I said suddenly, my voice only shaking the tiniest bit, "Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

This was getting stranger by the minute: I was actually conversing civilly with Potter, like we did this every day. What was even weirder was that he was acting like it wasn't odd in the slightest. "Nah, not me," he said, shaking his head, "Only child. You?"

For a moment, I considered telling him all about Petunia. It was almost relaxing, walking along and venting my frustrations verbally, and he was totally taking me seriously, and really listening…but the second this thought occurred to me, I saw Professor Flitwick coming out of his classroom door, and the fact that I was on _detention with Potter for goodness sake _came crashing down around me. I pressed my lips tightly together, and didn't answer him.

"Miss Evans!" squeaked Flitwick, all happily at the sight of me. "And Mr Potter," he added with a touch less enthusiasm, catching sight of Potter behind me. Then his eyes flicked back to me. "I was ever so surprised to see your name on the list for detention with me, Miss Evans!" he squeaked shrilly, "I was almost certain it was a mistake!"

"Bet you was well shocked to see my name as well, eh, Sir?" smirked Potter, leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets.

"Goodness, no!" said Flitwick, looking sternly up at him. "You must be trying for a record, Mr Potter. You and Mr Black have had more detentions more times than the Giant Squid has had soggy toast for breakfast." Without waiting for any sort of reply, he beckoned us both into the classroom, his tiny body only just managing to push the door open.

"How'd he find out?" whispered Potter to me as we both trooped in after him.

I shot him a disgusted look. "Are you saying that you actually _are _trying for a record?"

He grinned. "Why, aren't you?"

I decided it was beneath me to reply. Besides, Flitwick was facing us again now we were in his room, and it would have been rude to carry on talking.

"As you can see, my third year class left the room in a bit of a mess," he squeaks, gesturing to the ceiling.

"I'll say," murmured Potter, goggling at the ceiling, "What the hell did they do? It looks like an explosion at a slime factory in here…"

Potter's words just about summed it up. The ceiling and walls were covered, and I mean _covered_, in inch-thick puddles of grey-black slime. As I stood there looking up at it all, some of it oozed stickily down on a long, thin rope, before breaking off entirely and hitting the floor with a splat.

"Engorgement charms," sighed Flitwick, all sadly, "My third years were engorging slugs today, and some of them…went a bit too far." My stomach heaved slightly, a horrible image of a colossal slug exploding slime coming into my head.

"Don't tell me," Potter said weakly, "We have to clean that up?"

"Indeed," nodded Flitwick. "Observant as always," he added somewhat sarcastically.

"But how?" I asked, hiding a smile at Potter's nettled expression, "It's all on the ceiling, how can we get to it?"

"Oh, easily enough," replied our Charms teacher, "I have a spell which will enable you to walk freely around on the ceiling and walls. If you could both just pick up these buckets and scrubbing brushes - " here he gestured towards two bright red, plastic buckets full of soapy water, " – then I'll put the Charm in place." He raised his wand as me and Potter hastened to pick up the buckets.

I didn't much like the sound of this. As I stood there, clutching the slippery handle of the bucket, a thought suddenly occurred to me: _if we were upside-down, then wouldn't my skirt go flying upside-down as well? _

"Profess -"

"Reverso Antiamando!" Flitwick cried, twirling his wand with professional ease.

The effect was instantaneous. The room tipped crazily on its head, and my feet left the floor with a frightening lurch. I was hurtling through the air, towards the ceiling; the walls were speeding past me, Potter streaking downwards on my left side.

"ARRRRRRRRAAAAGH!" I screamed, clutching frantically onto his back, my fingernails digging into his skin. "STOPITSTOPITSTOPIT!"

"Good God, Evans," came Potter's derisive voice, "Get a grip!"

My breathing was tearing through my chest so fast it hurt my lungs. I was still clinging on like crazy to the only solid thing near me, and for some reason my vision was obscured by a large quantity of black…_stuff_. We had stopped falling. And…oh my God, I had gone blind!

"I'm blind, I can't see…" I moaned loudly, "Potter, where are you?"

"For Merlin's sake, Evans!"

The black stuff moved away, and suddenly, I could see again. I blinked, looking around. Then my eyes focused.

Somehow, horribly, I had ended up sitting in Potter's lap, with my head buried in his shoulder and clinging tightly onto his arm like a kid with a teddy bear.

"Urugh!" I said unintentionally, wriggling sideways to fall off his lap. "Merlin…"

Potter had rolled up his sleeve to examine his arm. "Merlin's beard, Evans!" he yelped, prodding at the skin, "You nearly dug through the skin with those damn nails!"

"Are you alright, up there?" came Flitwick's voice. I frowned, looked around, then finally looked up. My mouth fell open. Flitwick looked as though he was standing upside-down on the floor, which had now become our ceiling, with a load of tables and chairs dangling beside him. I had a horrible feeling all of those chairs would obey gravity soon and come crashing down around our ears…or would that be crashing _up _around our ears?

Urugh. It was odd, I didn't feel like I was upside down at all. I mean, the blood wasn't rushing to my head, and my skirt was staying thankfully in a downwards position.

Or would that be an upwards position…

"We're fine, sir," Potter called, waving up at him. I looked around, and realised I was sitting centimetres away from a huge slime puddle. Bleaaaugh. As slowly as I could, I carefully wriggled away from it.

"There is no need to look so scared, Miss Evans!" chortled Flitwick. "I think you'll find you could jump up and down on that ceiling and you wouldn't fall!"

Well, I don't think I'll be jumping up and down any time soon, thanks…

"Hey, cool!" said Potter, leaping to his feet at once. "I've got to try it!"

"Potter, _no_!" I shrieked, scrambling backwards…and putting my hand right into the slime puddle.

"Here I go!" he shouts, and jumps up…and, sure enough, his feet left the floor/ceiling, and came directly back down again.

"Cool!" he goes, looking mildly pleased with himself, "I just jumped on the ceiling."

I covered my eyes with my hands. The sight of Potter, jumping around like a House Elf on a sugar hit, in the middle of huge lakes of slug slime, while we were perched on the Charms classroom ceiling…was seriously messing with my brain.

And also making me feel faintly nauseous. Hmm, I wonder, if I was sick, which way would the vomit go…

Oh, bugger. I had just realised the hand I was using to cover my eyes had a large quantity of slug slime on it…I used my robe to wipe it away. Well, it would be getting pretty damn slimy soon enough, anyway.

"You may both start!" chirped Flitwick's voice, and we both looked up to see him beaming down at us. "I'll be right in my office next door. Shout if you need me!"

Or if we go plummeting down to the floor, I added silently. Tentatively, I reached out and picked out the scrubbing brush from the bucket, and gave an experimental scrub at the edges of the nearest slime puddle. When I pulled the brush away, the slime all stringed out, like pizza cheese…I couldn't prevent a shudder.

"S'up, Evans?" smirked Potter, dunking his hand into the bucket to get his scrubbing brush, "Afraid of a little slug-slime?"

"No," I replied shortly, "On the other hand, what I am afraid of is kneeling upside-down on the ceiling of a twelve foot high room!"

He snorted at that. "So you've never done this before?"

"Obviously. Why, have you?"

"Loads of times," he replied, surprising me with his answer, "Every time my Mum wanted to get rid of the cobwebs on the ceiling, she'd send me up there. I used to love it – never realised I could jump, though. It's an old house-work spell." He glanced up at my shocked expression. "Are you saying your parents never did that?"

"No," I muttered, keeping my eyes on scrubbing patterns through the slime, which was starting to dissolve, thanks to the solution we were using to clean it. "My parents aren't magical."

"Oh, yeah! I forgot that you're a Muggle-born."

For the second time that day, I looked at him out of the corner of my eye. He was cleaning in earnest now, though as I looked his eyes darted over to me for a split second, before looking away again. I wondered momentarily if me being Muggle-born mattered to him. Then I wondered why I was bothered about what he thought, anyway.

We lapsed into silence, the quiet only broken by the sound of brushes scrubbing on the old fashioned stone ceiling. I allowed my mind to wander, though my arm muscles were starting to ache rather badly. I wondered idly if Katy was done blaming me for Potter dumping her yet.

Yeah, yeah, I know what you're thinking. And I'd agree with you. _Fat chance_.

"You're thinking about Katy," said Potter suddenly.

I looked up at him, thoroughly freaked out. Potter can read my thoughts? "How the hell did you know that?"

He laughed. "Because you muttered 'Katy' to yourself just now."

Oh, great. I had turned into one of those people who said their thoughts out loud. I never even realised they actually existed. Until now, obviously. "Yeah, I was," I admitted. "Well, she did kind of hit me around the face. You don't forget something like that in a hurry."

"I know," he grinned, "Like when you slapped me a while ago."

Inexplicably, I felt my cheeks flare up. "Yeah, well, you deserved it," I muttered, ducking my head so my hair fell curtain-like over my face.

He laughed softly. "Can you even remember what you smacked me for? I certainly can't."

"Bloody typical," I hissed, and I looked up to see him staring at me. The candle-light from the floor lit his face up weirdly, turning his eyes into two shadowy pits, but when his head moved… I could just see his eyes glittering under the darkness, peering out at me. I stared at him, half mesmerised. His tousled head was bent slightly, inclined towards the ceiling as though watching the brush he was now sweeping through the slime, but the eyes gleamed constantly in my direction.

"Why did you dump Katy?" I found myself whispering.

"She got boring," came the reply, amid the swift, steady strokes of the brush. It occurred dimly to me that I should be cleaning as well, but I allowed the scrubbing brush to dangle loosely from my fingers, barely even acknowledging it.

"She was only good for one thing," said Potter matter-of-factly, sitting back on his knees and gazing straight at me. In that position, the whole of his face was thrown into sharp relief from the candelabra above. I could see his eyes quite clearly now, but the hypnotising sparkle never left them.

"Good for only one thing – meaning what?" I heard myself ask vaguely.

He smirked, cocking an eyebrow. "Meaning she had a nice pair of tits."

I gasped on reflex, outraged, and Potter winked at me suggestively, his eyes travelling very obviously down to my front.

Now, I'm not sure if that eye-wander was a joke or not. But there's only one thing a guy can hope to get when he stares openly at a girls boobs, joke or no joke.

_Slap_. My hand smacked automatically into the side of Potter's face with all the ease and grace of a professional diver. His head jerked backwards, teeth clashing audibly together. For a full moment, he stared away from me, his jaw clenched and breathing heavily through his nose. When he looked back, his eyes were blazing.

"Do that again and I'll hit you back. Harder."

A rush of heady adrenaline zinged through my body in hot tingles. Resisting the temptation to shiver, I stiffened my spine and glared at him. "You wouldn't dare."

He seemed to consider me thoughtfully for a moment, head cocked to one side, throwing his face into shadow once more. His brush swept idly along the floor, but I sensed the conversation was far from over yet. Oddly, I didn't even want it to be over.

"No," he said suddenly, "I probably wouldn't." The eyes gleamed at me. "But I will do this."

I was never exactly sure of what happened next. I couldn't recall seeing Potter moving, never even saw his face leaning towards mine. All I knew was that one moment Potter was kneeling in front of me, with his dark eyes dancing and sparkling in the candle light, and the next, his lips were pressed softly against mine.

James Potter was kissing me.

_What_? Ok – whoa! Freeze! Rewind! _What the hell was going on_?

I pulled away from him with a start, my lips oddly fiery. "What the hell was that?" I shot at him, holding my hand over my mouth, my heart thumping hard and fast.

He raised an eyebrow at me. "A kiss…" he said slowly, as though I was acting stupid.

"You just…_kissed_ me!"

His expression was carefully closed and flippant. "Well done, Evans. Top marks."

I stared at him, horrified. "_Why_?"

He looked blankly at me, as though unable to believe I could ask such a stupid question. "Because I wanted to."

Because he wanted to.

"I don't suppose," I said furiously, my temper, sparked by a combination of embarrassment and pure shock, beginning to rise, "That at any point, you even considered if I had _wanted you to kiss me_?"

He shrugged, his eyes wide as though to say 'why on earth are you making such a fuss?' Then he stuck his hands in his pockets, and glanced over at me sideways.

"So, d'you fancy going out to Hogsmeade together tomorrow?"

I gaped at him, my mouth so wide it probably resembled a cave and virtual bats flew out of it.

He had just asked me out. Potter had just asked me out, after all of that.

I stared him straight in the eye. "Oh, erm, let me think," I began sarcastically. I paused. He was still looking expectantly at me. "NO!" I yelled at him, before picking up my brush and turning my back on him, scrubbing with a renewed vigour at the ceiling.

After that, we didn't say another word to each other for the rest of night. Which came as something of a relief.

**0o0o0o0o0o0**

**(Keels over backwards) Well, that chapter didn't take me long...only about a week to finish and edit countless times. Anyway, with all the time I took to get this chapter to you, I would be only slightly offended if you didn't give me two minutes to tell me what you thought. So really go to town in your review, and write as much as you fancy! Tell me what you liked, hated, found funny, found lame, related to...I will be VERY happy if you do! (Beams in an encouraging yet slightly scary way) **

**Oh, and the computer broke down a couple of days ago. I nearly had a heart attack because I thought I'd lost all the work on here. Thanks to my wonderful brother though, it's up and running with all my work intact! So you kind of owe this chapter to him. Thanks a lot, Wayne.**

**Anyway...thank you also to all of you who reviewed last time! I LOVE YOU ALL!**

**Peace out **

**Bubbles xxx**


	23. Inhaling Toothpicks

When, after what seemed an eternity of silent scrubbing and the voices in my head arguing with each other, Flitwick finally called us down from the ceiling at around eleven o'clock, all you could see of me was a red-headed _blur _as I zipped out the door. I had never been so thankful to escape from somewhere in my life.

And trust me, I've wanted to escape from a lot of places in my life time.

As my feet pounded the floor, I allowed myself to relive the moment which my brain had been keeping under lock and key throughout the detention. Potter, staring at me, _flirting _with me as I now realised, and then his lips pressing against mine…

"Eeeurgh!" I squeaked, doing an odd kind of shudder crossed with a violent twitch. Then, unable to contain my disgusted thoughts any longer, I added, "BlehsurwursehekisssedmeBLEUUUUUGGH!"

I cut myself off short, aware that I sounded incredibly stupid. Not that I blamed myself. I glanced around edgily to check no-one had heard. A portrait of some old bloke with a huge ginger beard was smirking at me. Great, now I was a laughing stock among the paintings of the third floor. Could the day get any worse for me?

Another image of Potter leaning in towards me shot randomly into my head without warning. Horror rose like bile in my throat, and I furiously scrubbed at my mouth with my sleeve, not realising in time that there was a certain amount of crusting slug slime still on it.

"This is getting bloody ridiculous," I muttered angrily, pausing to spit into a potted plant on a window ledge. "Sorry," I added to the plant, as it's leaves wilted slightly, "But I'd rather you have it than me."

Several minutes of twitching and spitting into plants later, I glumly approached the Fat Lady, who was snoozing lightly in her frame but woke up with a start when I coughed pointedly.

"Pa-pa-password?" she said through a huge yawn.

"Buttercup Muffins."

She raised her eyebrows severely. "Incorrect."

I stared at her. "What? But that's the password!"

"The password was changed three hours ago."

"Well, I wasn't here three hours ago!" I snapped, "Can't you please just tell me the new one?"

She looked, if it were possible, even stricter. "All Gryffindor students should know the password."

"WELL, THEY OBVIOUSLY DON'T!" I exploded at her, finally coming to the end of my tether. "BECAUSE I'M A GRYFFINDOR STUDENT AND I DON'T KNOW THE FRIGGIN' PASSWORD!"

She sniffed at that, looking scandalised. "Shouting will get you no-where."

"Talking calmly won't get me anywhere, either," I snarled. "If you won't let me in, what will I do?"

"You must wait for another student to let you in."

"And if no-one comes?"

She smoothed down the front of her dress in a very self righteous way. "I suggest you make yourself comfortable out here."

I stared at the hard stone floor and walls, and groaned inwardly. This could _not _be happening to me.

However, just as I was choosing the softest looking piece of floor to sit on, the portrait swung open.

Joy of joys! Whoever was climbing out of that portrait now, I was so happy I was going to _kiss_ them!

Er – on second thoughts…Moony had just jumped lightly down from the portrait, then straightened up, grinning at me through fronds of tawny coloured hair. My knees trembled automatically, and my heart dissolved into mush. Oh, Merlin, he is _gorgeous _when he's smiling that devastating smile at me…

"Thought I heard someone out here," he said, all soft and soothing. "The new password is 'Rabbit Foot.'"

"Uh-yuh," I muttered, smiling at him, which in English roughly translates to 'oh yeah.'

We stood there staring at each other. He had this kind of expectant smile on his face. I grinned widely back at him. He coughed slightly, and gestured towards the portrait.

"Aren't you getting in?"

"Oh!" I stuttered, my face going flaming red. "Right – yeah, I mean…'course I am!"

Still grinning inanely, I hoisted myself up and into the Gryffindor common room, sighing with relief as the warmth from the fire washed over me. There was a soft thump from behind me, and turning I watched as Moony walked towards me, the portrait swinging closed behind him.

_Stop smiling, you fool_! I hissed internally, as I stood there, grinning like an idiot, all thoughts of Potter and crispy slug slime driven out of my mind. Hastily, I rearranged my cheek muscles.

His eyes met with mine, and _ping, _the grin was back on my face. Aragh, for God's sake, think of something unhappy, _just stop grinning at him like he's a clown doing a circus act for you_!

But there was nothing unhappy to think about. My mind was filled with him, like a stuck tape running over and over in my mind: _Moony, Moony, Moony…_

"I'm off to bed," he said suddenly, and it hit me that once again I had been standing there staring stupidly at him, a massive, idiotic smirk pasted onto my face. "Erm…good night."

"Night!" I chirped weakly, watching him go over my shoulder.

It was only when he was half-way across the common room did the most crazy impulse of a life time smack me in the chops.

"Moony!" I cried, whirling around. "Wait a second!"

He froze, and then turned slowly, frowning at me. "What did you just call me?"

Oh. Oh, _bugger_. "Erm, nothing!" I said hastily, "I said…er, isn't it ROOMY in here?"

He looked as though he was on the verge of laughing. "If you say so. What was it you wanted to say?"

I paused for a moment, screwing up all my self will and courage and what-not. "Er…Hogsmeade tomorrow!" I said, in this incredibly stupid, over-the-top enthusiastic voice.

He smiled gently. "I know it is."

"Well, er…I was wondering…" Oh, God, my face was scarlet. I kid you not. Taking a deep breath, I ploughed on. "Would you – er – I mean, you don't have to, if you're, I don't know, busy…" My pathetic warblings faded away. I sucked in another deep breath.

_Just say it_!

"Would you – would you like to come to Hogsmeade? With me, that is?" I couldn't look him in the eye. I was terrified. My heart was beating like…I don't know, a big brass band. Or something.

There was silence. Just say something, I begged with him inside my head, even if it's just a 'no', please say something…

"With me?" he said, sounding amazed. "Are you sure?"

"Ye-yeah," I said, my heart-beats choking me. "But if you'd rather not…"

"No!" he said, and, looking up tentatively up at him, I saw the faintest pink colouring his cheeks too. "That's not what I meant – I mean…" He grinned shyly at me. "I'd love to go with you."

I swear I started levitating at that point. This time, there was no stopping the huge, dumb grin spreading across my face. "Really?" I squawked, almost unable to believe it. "Oh my god – great! Er – I'll see you tomorrow, then?"

"Cool," he smiled, "See you later." And with that, he turned and carried on towards the stairs. I waited for him to disappear. Then I jumped up and down, hugging myself, making stupid noises again and not caring if anyone heard them. _I was going on a date with Moony_!

The night had certainly turned out to be pretty eventful for me.

0o0

The following morning I woke up to a great deal of noises and what sounded like people throwing things at the wall. Repeatedly.

"OHHHHMIIIIIIGOOOOOOOOOSH!" screamed what sounded like Ashleigh's voice, as I struggled to consciousness.

"'Oh my goosh?' What on earth is that supposed to mean?"

"I don't know, and I don't care! Sirius Black! _Sirius Black_! OMIGOOSH!"

"What the hell?" I muttered, rolling over and poking my head out of the gap in the drapes. An odd sight met my bleary, sleep-deprived eyes. Zea was leaning against the wall, looking rather pink, and Ashleigh was doing some kind of…_dance, _I suppose you would call it, only it more resembled a duck with a large, spiky stick recently thrust up its backside.

"I can't believe it!" she squealed, dancing/duck thrusting her way around the room. "I just can NOT believe it!"

"What?" I croaked, making both of them jump in shock and whip around to look at me. I blinked confusedly at the pair of them. "What's going on?"

Ashleigh stopped doing her 'dance.' She was beaming in excitement. "The most amazing thing has just happened, Lily!" she half-screamed, dashing over to my bedside and kneeling next to my head.

"Honestly, Ash, it's not _that _exciting," interrupted Zea, though she too had a small smile on her face.

"Not that exciting? Zea, its SIRIUS BLACK!"

"What is it?" I repeated, feeling as though I was going to go crazy with curiosity. "What's Black done?"

Ashleigh turned towards me with shining eyes. "Only asked her out!" she said, all happily, pointing a finger towards Zea.

I vaguely felt my jaw drop, and I pulled back my bed curtain and sat up to look directly at Zea. "He asked you out?" I asked sharply, "And what did you say?"

She rolled her eyes as though she thought me stupid to ask. "No, of course."

I sighed in relief. "Good on you. Black needs his ego taken down…oh, only several thousand notches."

"Well, I still think she should have said yes!" sighed Ashleigh dreamily, "They'd make such a cute couple!"

I stared at her in disbelief. "Ashleigh, Black gets off on making girls feel special for two, wonderful weeks," I said rather crushingly, remembering Marlene, "And then, once they think they're head over heels in love with him, he shatters their hearts by cheating on them or just dumping them once the novelty's worn off. D'you think Zea would honestly want to go out with someone like _that_? Right, Zea?"

I looked up for Zea's support. She stared blankly at me for a moment, then said quickly: "Right. Yeah."

A little too quickly. I opened my mouth to comment on this, but Ashleigh cut over me. "I was only saying, looks-wise," she muttered, wafting a hand towards Zea, "I mean, they're both so good looking. They would look well together."

She knelt there, looking mildly upset, and suddenly I felt like an incredible bitch. "I'm sorry, Ash," I said guiltily, slipping onto the floor to give her a hug. "But, you know, Black went out with Marlene and I had to put up with her crying for days on end. I don't really want a repeat experience."

"Well, there's no chance of him doing that to me," said Zea briskly, once me and Ashleigh had pulled apart. She turned around and started brushing her long, silky black hair. Our eyes met briefly in the mirror, but she dropped her gaze almost at once, making rather a meal of getting every single tangle out of her black mane.

Walking over to my wardrobe, I smiled mirthlessly, sorting idly through my clothes. As I picked out a black polo necked jumper and flung it on my bed, Ashleigh suddenly said, "Well, seeing as none of us have dates or anything, how about a girls day out at Hogsmeade today? Just the four of us?"

"I can't," me and Zea chimed simultaneously. We stared at each other, then Zea grinned and waved her hand. "You first."

"Alright," I said hesitantly, an image of Moony's shyly smiling face flashing into my mind. "I have…a date."

I stood there, hugging a pair of jeans to my chest, and waited. I didn't have to wait long. Anyone would think I'd said I was going to free the world from James Potter, for God's sake.

Zea and Ashleigh pounced on me with the force of an excited dog that has just spotted a string of sausages outside its front door. And by that, I mean they were_ excited. _

"WHOOOOOOO?" Zea howled into my ear while Ashleigh started doing her duck thrusting again, "Who're you going with? Tell, tell, tell!"

"Alright!" I grinned, spinning around to look at her. "I'm going with Moo – Lupin. Happy?"

For a moment the pair of them just stood there and stared at me.

Then the screaming started again.

0o0

"Ready?" asked the gorgeous, the one-and-only Moony Lupin as I descended the stairs half an hour later, with my knees only trembling slightly.

"Yah!" I said, sprouting a random American accent. Where the hell had _that _come from?

Never mind. It seemed he hadn't noticed, thank giddygod. "Well…let's go, then, shall we?" he said, all courteously, and smiling at his general all-round niceness, I followed him out the portrait.

He hopped down first, and when I went to jump out as well, he offered me his hand. I took it, feeling a little dazed. Ohmigosh. He just helped me down from the portrait! That is so _nice_!

Of course, it wasn't like I actually needed help. But even so. It was the principle that counted.

His hands weren't particularly nice either. A bit clammy around the edges.

Hang on…sweaty palms! Is he nervous? Nervous because of me?

That is SO cute.

"Let's go!" he said brightly, and we walked along the corridor together, heading for the main staircase. Weak sunlight streamed in through the windows, running over our faces and making me blink. Other people were also drifting vaguely in the direction of the staircase, chatting happily about the weekend. A rather awkward silence fell between us.

Oh, God. I hate silence. It makes things awkward. Quick, Lily, think of something to say.

"So!" I said, all brightly, as we started descending the stairs, saying the first thing that fell into my head. "D'you like ducks?"

What. The. Hell.

I had been spending WAY too much time with Potter.

"Ducks?" repeated Moony, looking mildly surprised. "Not really. Why? Do you?"

"Me? No!" I gabbled. "I hate them! In fact, last week I shot…" I trailed off, mentally smacking my wrist. No. Going too far now. Get a grip, Lily, get a grip.

"Sorry?" he asked, sounding politely incredulous, "Did you just say you shot a duck?"

"Er…of course not," I said weakly. "Just…got my words mixed up."

He gave a slight smile and nod. I concentrated on getting down the stairs, my face brick red, and let the silence rest between us. Better silence than making a fool of myself, after all.

At the bottom of the stairs, we queued up to be checked off on the list by the caretaker, then we were off, striding down the sloping lane towards the village. I sniffed at the cold, crisp air, and tried to take comfort in the fact that at least it was sunny, although at the same time the wind was freezing.

Maybe if I shivered enough, he would lend his cloak to me…

"So, where d'you want to go?" asked Moony, as we finally reached the bustling, thriving streets of Hogsmeade. I looked around, searching automatically for any familiar faces, and feeling stupidly relieved when I didn't.

"Oh, I don't mind," I said easily, though my eye was caught by the colourful front door of Honeydukes. Mmm, Honeyduke's chocolate…I haven't had any of that for ages…

"What about - " I began, just as Moony suddenly said, "I wouldn't mind - "

We both broke off, laughing at each other. "Go on," said Moony nodding his head. "You first."

"No, no!" I laughed, sounding horribly cheesy. "What did you want to say?"

"Well…" his eyes trailed off in the direction in, to my disappointment, not to Honeydukes, but to Zonkos. I immediately fixed a bright grin on my face.

"You want to go in there?"

"Only if you're okay with it," he replied, shrugging his shoulders.

"Sure I am!" I lied, and started walking towards it, Moony right next to me. "I love joke shops."

Actually, I hated them. I hate the people who work in them, who go around pressurising the customers into buying stuff. And they smell funny. But hey, who cared? I could pretend for Moony.

The shops interior was totally hidden from the outside world, as the windows were plastered in bright posters and cardboard signs advertising merchandise. With a vague feeling of foreboding, I pushed against the front door and a loud bout of honking broke out directly over my head.

"Jesus!" I cried, falling over a basket right next to the doorway in shock. As I lay there, clutching my chest and trying very hard not to hyperventilate, a girl with bright purple hair offered me her hand. This would have been nice of her, if she hadn't had a huge smirk stretched across her face as she clearly fought back laughter.

"Lily?" Moony was looking quizzically down at me as I scrambled to my feet, ignoring the girls hand. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine!" I said through gritted teeth, shooting the girl a glare out of the corner of my eye. "Such fun!"

He stared at me with a slight frown on his face. "Are you sure you don't want to go somewhere else?"

"I said I'm fine!" I replied, with a bit of a snap in my voice. "Thanks, though," I hastily added in a kinder voice, seeing his taken aback expression.

"Okay…" he said, looking away from me after a final thoughtful sweep of his eyes. "Well, I wanted to have a look at their fireworks in here; Sirius said something about a new brand."

"Cool!" I said, trying to sound enthusiastic as we squeezed our way through the crowds of people jammed between the shelves. "Er – what's so special about them?"

"I'm not too sure myself," he replied over his shoulder, "But Sirius said that they have a new - "

The rest of his answer was cut off by a sudden surge of people between us. Bodies were suddenly pressing me in the opposite direction, and I found myself being carried away, despite how much I tried to shove back.

"Hey!" I cried, struggling against them. "Stop pushing!"

I might as well have been shouting at Marlene on a Sunday morning for all the notice they took of me. I couldn't even see Moony any more. What if he thought I'd run away from him? Desperation made me strong, and with an almighty heave, I suddenly broke free of them.

Moony had disappeared.

Great. Just great. Looking around, I spotted a man with neon green hair and a Zonkos uniform on, stacking things onto a shelf. I hurried over to him.

"Excuse me?" I asked the back of his head anxiously, "Could you tell me where the firework section is, please?"

"I could," droned the reply.

"Where is it?" I asked, feeling mildly offended that he hadn't even bothered turning around to give me eye contact.

"Next aisle, to your left. But you don't want to be going around there."

"What?" I frowned, momentarily distracted in the action of walking away. "Why not?"

"There's vampires round there."

I stared at his stupid green hair in disbelief. "Are you joking?"

"Not at all. Ogres too." He turned his head slightly, and I could just see the profile of his face. He looked to be about eighteen. "And werewolves."

I rolled my eyes. "Is everyone in here paid to be weird, or something?"

He turned all the way around at that, a maniacal grin on his face, eyes bugging and tongue lolling. "Naturally," he lisped through his tongue, and I couldn't help but laugh. He did look really stupid.

"Lily!"

I looked up, and saw Moony with an armful of fireworks, giving me an odd look. Green Hair Man gave me a cheery wink and turned back to stacking things. I smiled brightly as Moony came towards me. He didn't smile back. "I'm getting these," he said stiffly, eyes narrowing at the Green Hair Man's back. "Anything you want?"

"Not really," I muttered, following him to the counter, where a long queue of Hogwarts students stood, baskets full to bursting with prank items.

It was only as I looked up from staring at my shoes (I was bored, ok?) did I realise who was standing in front of us.

"Moony, my old buddy," purred Black, looking as though all his birthdays had come at once, "How's it going?"

"Fine," replied Moony, perhaps a little stiffly.

Black grinned, looking down at me and chewing on a toothpick he had got from…somewhere. "Never thought I'd be seeing you in here, Evans," he said, giving me a lazy smirk and making the toothpick tilt upwards. I couldn't help but watch, fascinated, as he twirled it expertly to the other side of his mouth.

I then realised I was probably meant to say something in return. "Oh. Right. Well, you are seeing me so…get over it," I said, rather weakly. Hey, I was distracted by the toothpick. No-one could give a decent comeback with a bit of wood twiddling around in their opponent's mouth.

His smirk grew wider. "But I bet you never wanted to come in here in the first place, did you, love?" He winked at me. "You just came in here for Remus, didn't you? Don't worry," he added, eyes flickering over to Moony, who was staring at him with his jaw set, "I won't tell him."

Now, I would have probably would have thought of the most ego-flattening comment of a lifetime here, if only I hadn't been so distracted by a) The toothpick, b) The fact I had just found out Moony's real name, and c) Sirius Black was _winking _at me. I mean, what the hell? Why is it that everyone else can do that and I can't?

I came back to earth with a bump when I realised I had been standing there staring blankly at his toothpick for a good twenty seconds.

"Arrr, bless," sniggered Black, "Too swept away by my good looks to answer, aren't you, sweetheart?"

I snapped back to reality at once. "You - " I began furiously, but at that precise moment the man behind the check out handed Black a plastic carrier bag full of goods, said "Thank you for shopping at Zonko's!" and Black dropped three galleons into his palm before walking away, snickering heartily.

I turned back to Moony as he moved forwards to pay as well, almost too incensed to speak.

"I do NOT think he is good looking!" I burst out eventually, after standing there struggling to contain my anger for a while. Moony raised his eyebrows slightly.

"Don't you?"

"No, I bloody don't!" I snapped hotly, "Not everyone thinks he's God's gift!"

He smiled at that, though he kept his eyes on the man now totalling up the prices of his fireworks. "I was under the impression that the entire female population of Hogwarts is at his feet."

"You've been listening to him for too long," I said scornfully, "Quite a few of us actually think he deserves to inhale his own bloody toothpick and die."

Now, I thought that comment was actually rather funny, as well as being true. Much to my disappointment however, instead of bursting into hysterical laughter, Moony only gave another weak smile and said "Hey, come on. He is my friend – and he's not that bad."

I surveyed him in mild disbelief, but he didn't say anything else as he moved forwards to pick up his bag.

Merlin. Forgive me for being pessimistic, but after that comment, this looked destined to be a _long _trip.

**0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

**That was a nice long chapter, was it not, oh wonderful readers of my story? That's the first part of Lily's date with Moony for you – Part Two should be along in a while, stay tuned! **

**Anyway, I am REALLY sorry about the long gap between chapters. You wouldn't believe how busy I've been. My teachers are getting over-happy on coursework and handing it out like there's no tomorrow, so I have been bogged down in work. To add to this, the computer broke down (again) and as a consequence everything I looked at on screen was in an interesting turquoise colour for a while. ****So yeah...it wasn't my fault! Really! **

**I spent a long time typing up this chapter in the spare moments I could grab inbetween working...copy and paste the lines you liked into your review, I'd really appreciate that. Or give me ideas for improvement...or whatever you like, really. **

**Peace out xxx**


	24. Deflating Heads

The rest of the trip passed by in a blur of awkward silence, interjected with bouts of polite, forced conversation. My cheek muscles were starting to feel as though they were about to fall off as I was keeping a fixed grin on my face for so long. It came as something of a shock when I looked at my watch and realised that, after endless amounts of tramping around the village, looking idly around shops and pretending I was enjoying myself, we had only been there for one hour.

God. Whenever Marlene and I came up here, the time would fly by.

I guess that's just different people for you.

"Shall we go up to that haunted shack?" I asked, after we had been sitting on a bench talking about the weather for a good five minutes. My feet and brain were numb with cold and boredom. "I've heard it's worth a visit."

Moony stiffened slightly as the wind blew more harshly, tossing hair over my face. "I was more thinking about the Three Boomsticks," he said, not quite meeting my eye. "I'm freezing!"

I pulled a face, even though the thought of the warm, cosy interior of the pub was rather appealing. "Oh, but I really wanted to have a look," I said, trying to keep my tone light and not too whiny. "Don't you think it's intriguing? A boarded-up building, no-one ever goes in, no-one ever coming out, but once a month the locals hear screams inside, and snarls…."

He rolled his eyes, but I could see his hands were clenching tight around a fistful of his robes. "They're just stories, Lily."

"I don't think so!" I protested, feeling mildly offended that he was dismissing my idea so quickly. "I mean, half the people who live here don't let their children near that place any more. They're all convinced there's violent spirits in there."

He laughed. "That's ridiculous. Anyway, we don't need to see violent spirits when we've got Peeves!"

I eyed his hands now in a white-knuckled grip around his robes, and felt rather scornful. He was obviously frightened stiff by the rumours. "No, I don't think spirits make the noise," I tried to say in a pacifying voice, "After all, why would they only do it once a month? Always at full moon too, I heard one bloke say. Hey," I suddenly snorted with laughter, "You don't think there's a werewolf hiding in there, do you?"

Moony stood up so fast the entire bench shook violently. "Enough of this," he said, and to my surprise his voice was cold, stony. "Let's go to the pub, I'm really thirsty."

I stared at him. He was once again not looking at me, but there was something about the set line of his jaw and grim look in his eyes that told me he wasn't joking.

"Okay," I said quietly, and stood up to follow his lead.

_What in Merlin's name was that all about_? I asked myself, as the warmth from the pubs roaring fire washed over me. The place was crammed to exploding point with Hogwarts students, and out of the corner of my eye, I caught a familiar glimpse of two heads, one dark, and one honey brown.

"Just one minute," I muttered to Moony, "Could you get me a butterbeer, please? I'll pay you back later."

Not waiting for an answer, I sped off and dived into the chattering throng of students, got shoved around a bit (I was getting used to it) and eventually found myself by Marlene's side.

"Lily!" she cried happily, the second she clocked who was standing next to her, "How's it going?"

"Yeah, girl, spill all the details," grinned Ashleigh, lifting her eyebrows suggestively. "Got down to any business with Moony yet?"

It took a while for me to catch on exactly what she was implying, and when I did, I slapped her hard on the arm. "It's nothing like that!" I snapped, while the pair of them honked like constipated geese, "He's really…"

"Sweet?" suggested Marlene.

"Damn sexy?" inquired Ashleigh.

"…boring," I completed, shooting the pair of them a glare. The second I said it, however, I clapped my hand over my mouth, horrified at myself.

"Boring?" repeated Marlene incredulously. "Merlin, Lily, aren't you even enjoying yourself?"

I looked from one to the other, still holding my hand over my mouth. Well, the cat was in the fire now. Or however that phrase goes. "No," I said in a low voice, figuring I may as well be honest. "And my jaw is aching for all the wrong reasons."

"Because I've been pretending to be enjoying myself all day," I added, at the puzzled frowns on their faces, "You know. Fake smiling?"

"Oh, Lily," sighed Marlene, a pained look on her face, "That's awful."

Ashleigh looked serious, although that isn't unusual for her. "Then you'll have to break it to him gently, won't you? Don't lead him on any more."

"I am not _leading him on_," I said, nettled. "I mean, this is only one date. I'm not sure if he's even enjoying it himself…" I recounted my story of Moony's reaction to mention of the haunted shack. At the end of it, I saw Marlene and Ashleigh exchange glances.

"What?" I asked carefully, not sure if I wanted to know.

"Nothing," said Ashleigh vaguely, though she continued to frown. "It's just that me and Marlene were talking earlier, about him. We came up with a theory…"

She might have continued, maybe even telling me what this mysterious theory actually was, but as it turned out she broke off suddenly, light green eyes fixed over my shoulder. Two seconds later, Moony was tapping my arm.

"Got your drink!" he said enthusiastically, handing me a glistening brown bottle. "Er, shall we…?" He stopped and looked hesitantly around at Marlene and Ashleigh, both of whom were giving him scrutinising looks.

"Yeah," I said at once, though I stared at Ashleigh for a second longer. "I'll see you later, girls," I added over my shoulder, as I turned and squeezed my way back through the crowd.

There was but one table that I could see that was free, and as I stood there looking at it I noticed about seven other people also making a dogged bee-line for it.

Clearly, on a night like this, it was a free-for-all. Now, I'm not the most competitive kind of girl, but hey, my feet were tired and I wanted to sit down.

"Quick!" I shrieked, and I grabbed Moony's hand and yanked him violently through the milling people, making his head snap back on his shoulders and probably giving him whiplash to boot. Saving my apologies for later, I set off on a determined sprint, ploughing my way doggedly through the people and towing Moony along behind me.

Result was, we won the table, leaving the other seven people to glare at us and make do with a bit of wall to lean on.

"Result!" I cried triumphantly.

"Er." Said Moony.

I stared at him in disbelief. I had just elbowed and scratched and kicked and shoved my way through a crowd of people so we could sit down and put our feet up, and the most he could say was "er"?

And then I realised he was staring at our hands, still clasped together from where I had pulled him along behind me.

"Oh!" I said, snatching it away at once and blushing furiously. "Sorry!"

"That's alright," he replied, with a kind smile.

See, I'm not sure if I like that. Kind smiles. They're just too…patronising. Give me a cheeky grin any day.

I don't think I've ever seen Moony give a cheeky grin in my life.

"So," he said, once we had sat in a highly uncomfortable silence for a while, staring fixedly at the table-top, "Slytherin versus Gryffindor soon!"

Huh? I stared at his expectant face, for a moment utterly perplexed. Were Gryffindor and Slytherin having a show-down at sunset or something? Should I call the riot police?

"Quidditch," he added, shattering the image in my head of Dumbledore on horseback and brandishing a cattle prod at once.

"I knew that!" I laughed at once, "I'm, er, very excited!"

His face lit up. "Are you really? Me too! Of course, I've always loved Quidditch, right from when I was a little boy and my father took me to see…"

I gazed at his animated face, shining with passion and sweat from the fire. I looked over his gentle, sky blue eyes and scattering of freckles, barely visible on his milky white skin. As his sudden torrent of words rushed over me like a monotonic waterfall, one thought and one thought only came into my head: _Remus Moony Lupin, I have never realised this before, but you are boring. I know it's wrong, and I know it's mean, but you are simply boring. And that's in the capital B type of boring._

Then I felt like an incredible bitch for even thinking it. What if he really liked me? What if I was leading him on, giving him false hope, like Ashleigh had said? As he beamed reminiscently into the fire, recalling his childhood games to me, I suddenly realised I couldn't keep up this charade any longer. Not if I had any respect for his feelings at all.

"Moony," I cut over his rambling about the Kenmere Whatsits team, unable to keep my mouth shut any longer, "There's something I have to say."

He looked up at me, amused. "Why do you call me that?"

I jerked back, temporarily thrown. Damn it, I've been waiting for ages to learn his real name and the day I actually do, I just revert to calling him Moony anyway. Bloody typical. "Er – because…I think…I mean…that's what I call you in my head," I white-lied, conveniently forgetting to tell him that up until today, I hadn't even known what his real name was. "Ever since I heard Black call you it."

He smiled delightedly. "You do that too?"

"Yes," I said hurriedly, not wanting to start him off on another subject, "But about what I was going to say…" I trailed off, his words suddenly sinking in. I stared at him, thinking I must have heard him wrongly. "You call people other names in your head…too?"

Moony nodded slowly, looking at me with a new, wondering sort of expression on his face. "Ever since I can remember."

We sat there, taking each other in, and in that spilt second, I suddenly realised that for the first time that day we were sharing a silence that was neither uncomfortable or awkward. In fact…it was almost nice.

Perhaps this date wasn't going to be a complete loss after all.

"What were you going to say?" asked Moony, and in a rush, everything I had been determined to tell him came pouring back into my head.

"Er…yeah," I mumbled, trying to look into his eyes but fixing on his nose instead, "Well…um…you see…"

There was a sudden, tremendously sharp bang on the other side of the pub. Several people screamed, which quickly dissolved into laughter, but amid the sounds of hysteria someone was yelling in anger or pain.

"What was that?" said Moony sharply, whipping his head around to stare up at the other end of the pub where many people were gathered, jostling for space.

"I don't know," I replied, frowning over at the crowd. There was definitely someone shouting, accompanied by laughter, then the sound of smashing glass…more noises of hilarity…

Just as I was about to suggest calling for the bar tender, Potter and Black suddenly burst from the crowd, fast pursued by a large, blond boy, who's immediate distinguishing feature was the fact that his head was, not only bright red, but swollen to twice the usual size.

"YOU PUT ME BACK!" howled the boy, holding up his gigantic head with both hands, "YOU BLOODY BASTARDS, PUT ME RIGHT AGAIN!"

"Oh my God…" I murmured, watching as the boys eyes, enlarged to the size of tennis balls, filled with tears of fury. Next to me, Moony didn't say anything. When I glanced around at him, I saw his lips were tightly pressed together, his face an odd, taut mask.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" yelled Potter joyfully, while Black cackled with glee, "I can't see any difference – wasn't your head always like that?"

There was another loud _bang. _The boy had just shot a badly-aimed curse at him, it ricocheted off the wall and smashed a plate to dust. Potter and Black laughed even more loudly, and their voices drove into me like blunt knives. Something stirred inside me, then grew white hot, twisting and writhing, shrieking like a siren. That was the way they always laughed at me. That was the exact same, characteristic shriek of glee they always used on me, whenever I fell prey to their pranks, to their jokes. Shaking with suppressed rage, I turned to Moony.

"Say something to them!"

He didn't reply. He continued to stare at them, his face paper white. But he never moved. It was almost as though he simply couldn't hear me.

The laughter of the entire pub pounded around my ears. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. "They're your friends!" I all but shrieked over the noise. "You're a Prefect! _Stop them, for God's sake_!"

He turned hollow eyes towards me, dull, empty blue irises, yet within them shone a spark of defiance. "That kid Aubrey is a right little idiot. He probably deserves what he's getting." He fixed a half-convincing smile onto his face. "Just try to ignore them. What were you going to say?"

For one, full moment I sat there and looked at him, my chest heaving up and down as the hot, burning emotion throbbed in my chest, getting stronger with every second.

He was going to ignore them. He was quite prepared to just sit there, while his friends tormented some boy only a few metres away from him, and act like he couldn't even see them.

"You disgust me," I said quietly, though my voice was trembling, "If you're not going to bother yourself with saying anything, then I will!"

And so I rose, pushing the table violently away and making it hit him hard in the stomach. I turned away, and stalked towards the crowd, where I couldn't even see the three boys any more, though I could still hear their laughter, that malicious, sneering laughter…

Unable to get any closer, I slid out my wand, pointed it to my throat and muttered, "_Sonorous._"

I took a deep breath, then yelled as loudly as I could: "POTTER!"

My voice reverberated like a shockwave through the crowd and several people near me yelled and pressed their hands over their ears. Making use of the temporary distraction, I pushed my way through them, making my way to the centre where Potter and Black stood, looking as though they'd been caught with their hands in the biscuit tin.

Now I was face to face with them, I pointed my wand upwards again and muttered, "Quietus." Then I waved it over at Aubrey, and said firmly, "Finite."

His head shrunk to normal standards at once, though it remained scarlet with rage. I turned my gaze back on Potter and Black, who both stood, looking rather deflated. "Just what," I said quietly, for everyone around us was silent, "Do you think you were doing?"

I was so angry, I didn't even notice that they both flinched slightly as they would if a teacher addressed them. I was so furious, I didn't even note that I was having the same effect on them as an irate Professor McGonagall would have. All I cared about was my determination that they would both pay for thinking they could go around hexing people all the time, and get away with it.

Black, however, recovered first. "I think it's pretty obvious, don't you, Evans?" he drawled lazily. "Aubrey here thought he could get away with being smart with us. Someone had to sort him out, and we thought we'd take the liberty."

"So you thought that the best possible way to 'sort him out,'" I stated flatly, "Was to blow up his head?"

There were several stifled giggles from the crowd around us, and Black grinned widely. "Well, yeah," he said flippantly, "Like I say, he's had it coming. But credit where it'd due - " Here he jerked his head towards Potter, who was studying the opposite wall with a kind of determined fascination, " – it was Prongs' idea."

Some kind of dam seemed to have burst inside me as I looked at Potter's casual, couldn't-care-less features, his hands in his pocket, the arrogant smirk playing around his mouth as he refused to look at me. "You pathetic, sad, big-headed GIT!" I found myself shouting. "You don't care, do you? You don't care about how many people you hurt, just as long as you get the attention for it! I've had enough you – the pair of you! I'm putting you both in detention!"

He snapped his eyes around to look at me at once. "_Detention_?" they both yelled incredulously, and I felt a vicious pleasure swell up inside me. For once, I had finally managed to get through to them.

"I'm a Prefect, remember?" I said sweetly, tapping the almost forgotten badge on my robes. "I can do things like that."

The identical looks of shock on their faces was hysterical. The crowd murmured excitedly amongst themselves, over at the bar, I could see Madam Rosmerta, in the act of walking out to stop the fight, her mouth hanging open.

Potter looked furious. "Yeah, is that right, Evans?" he snapped, "So you're putting us in detention for hurting people, and not caring?"

"Well done!" I yelled back, my heart beating triumphantly, "Top marks, Potter!"

His face contorted as I threw his own words back in his face, and the next thing I knew, he had pointed his own wand at his throat, and his voice boomed spectacularly around the pub. "REMUS!"

I stared at him, momentarily thrown. What was he getting Moony out for? Was he hoping for some sort of back-up? I winced as Potter yelled once more, "REMUS, I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME, GET UP HERE!"

There was a moment of silence, then Moony appeared, red-faced, frowning at the forefront of the crowd. "What d'you want?" he snapped, deliberately not looking at me.

I glared at Potter, non-plussed. Even Black's brow was creased, as he stared questioningly at his friend. Apparently oblivious to all the looks, Potter turned back to me again.

"So you think all people who hurt others should be put in detention, eh?" he said, his eyes sparkling with vindictive revenge.

"Yes, I do!" I shot back, though inwardly I was starting to panic. He must have called Moony for a reason, and with that look in his eye, it could only be bad.

"So, Remus!" said Potter, with a false, airy tone, "D'you want to know what your girlfriend's been saying, or should I say bitching, about you behind your back?"

Moony froze. His eyes swivelled over to me, where I stood rooted to the spot, my heart thumping uncontrollably, no, he couldn't have heard, Potter wouldn't say that…

"She thinks you're BORING, Moony!" he cried delightedly, "Me and Sirius heard her, didn't we, buddy?" He looked around at Black for support, who looked suddenly awkward and didn't say anything. Potter turned back to Moony. "And, what was it, Evans? Oh yeah - she said that her jaw was aching for 'all the wrong reasons.' That she wasn't even enjoying herself, that she couldn't wait to ditch you and go home!"

I looked over at Moony's hurt, taken-aback face, and one look told me he believed every word of it. Potter was laughing ironically, Black was looking aghast.

"So Evans, by your book, shouldn't you be putting yourself in detention? Because, forgive me if I'm wrong, Remus looks pretty damn hurt to me, doesn't he?"

The whole pub was silent. Everyone's eyes were resting on me, as my face flushed hot and crimson, my heart shook and banged furiously at my ribs. I couldn't say anything. There wasn't anything left to say. Because I had said those things about Moony. There was simply no denying it.

But Potter's face, shaking with false, angry laughter at my astonished face, at Moony's eyes now staring at me as though he'd never seen me before, inspired something so strong and powerful I found my senses kick-starting back into life again. Raising my wand, I pointed it at Potter's sneering face and screamed the worst hex I could think of, as loudly as I could, directly into his face.

I heard the yell as I dived back into the crowd, but I didn't look back to see the effect. By the time I heard Madam Rosmerta's angry shouts reverberate through the building, I was already outside, the cold, December air smacking sharply into my burning, blurry eyes.

**0o0o0o0o0**

**Hey, all of you wonderful people who grace me with your reviews. I can't believe it - we've hit the 400 mark! (Dances crazily) Well, that concludes Lily's (pretty catastrophic, lets face it) date with Moony!Did you enjoy it? Hate it? You know how to tell me! **

**Peace out xxx**

**Bubbles x**


	25. Blanketed Boulders

I didn't stop running until the pub was a distant speck on the horizon. I couldn't stop. My muscles were screaming in protest, but every time I slowed down an image of Moony's hurt, taken aback face printed itself clearly before my eyes, and my guts would clench together to resemble an iron fist.

How could he…how could he _do_ that…?

"I FUCKING HATE YOU!" I screamed, unable to keep it in any more, and I swung my fist into a tree standing near by. My breath came in short, painful gasps, and for one frightening moment I was sobbing so hard I could barely breathe. Everything around me blurred and merged into one hazy blob, rioting with colours, mocking me. Anger and horror clawed at my throat again, and I grabbed fistfuls of my hair to keep it inside me, so I wouldn't start screaming again.

Something sticky rubbed off onto my cheek. Automatically, I looked at my hand, and saw patches of bright red fogging over the pale skin. I blinked. Beads of blood were welling up from my knuckles. To my surprise, they didn't even hurt that much.

Somehow, the sight of blood calmed me. I took deep, steadying breaths, then wiped at my tears with my shirt sleeve. God, I was being stupid.

"I couldn't care less about Moony anyway," I muttered, then immediately felt like a huge bitch for even thinking it. I was lying to myself, anyway. Moony might have bored me, but he didn't deserve what had happened. No-one deserved that.

"I couldn't care less abut Potter, anyway."

_But that's not true, is it_?

"It is bloody true. I _hate _him!"

_Hating someone isn't the same as not caring about them. _

I growled. For God's sake, I couldn't even have a decent rant with myself. A feeling of enormous hopelessness washed over me, and I suddenly felt incredibly tired. Looking up for the first time, I realised I had somehow ended up back in the grounds of Hogwarts, the lake not far away. Flopping down on the grass, I stared over at the mass of shimmering water, but didn't really see it at all.

_What the hell am I going to do. _

"Must make it up to Moony," I mumbled, "And when I've done that…kill Potter."

Sounded like a plan to me. Collapsing back onto the grass, I lay there and gazed up at the clouds, waiting…waiting for something to change my life…

0o0

"EVANS!"

I gazed in horror at Potter's sneering face, trying my hardest to back away, but my feet remained glued to the floor.

"EVANS!"

His voice was booming over me, echoing around my brain, and somehow, horribly, he was getting taller and I was getting smaller…I tried to run, but my feet stuck fast, and I pitched over backwards…falling…falling…

"EVANS, I SWEAR TO MERLIN, IF YOU DON'T GET UP I'M GOING TO COME UP THERE AND _MAKE _YOU!"

I sat up in bed with a small scream, kicking the duvet frantically away from my feet, tried to rip the curtains open, and fell out of bed with a loud and incredibly painful thump.

"Ow."

I lay in a crumpled heap on the floor, entangled in blankets and breathing hard. From behind me somewhere I heard a creak of bedsprings, then a tired voice mumble, "Lily?"

"Uh," I grunted back. From this position, I could see quite a large amount of dust under my bed, and in my current sleep-stupid state, all I could think about was how cloud-like and fluffy it was…and how soft it looked…and how I would rather like to curl up and go to sleep on it…

"EVANS! THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE!"

I almost jumped out my skin, Potter's voice frightened me so much. I heard a loud groan, then something flumped into my head. A pillow, I guessed, though I couldn't be sure. "Lily," called Zea's sleep strained voice, "Call me stupid if I'm wrong, but I get the feeling that Potter wants you."

I lay in silence for a moment. Potter...why did that name set off such a bad feeling in my stomach?

My brain wasn't functioning properly to figure it out. Sleep staved, it was telling me that my current position, although not entirely comfortable, was perfect for sleeping in…I felt my eyes start to flutter closed again…

"EVANS!"

"SHUT UP POTTER, BEFORE I SHUT YOU UP!"

And for the record, that wasn't even me. That was Zea.

As you might be able to tell, Zea isn't really a morning person.

Knowing I would be dicing with death if I let Potter shout much more, I dragged myself up, bundling the duvet around me so I was warmly cocooned inside, and toddled to the door.

"EVANS!"

"I'm COMING, you loud mouthed RECTUM."

Growling, I started to make my way awkwardly down the stairs, but it's no mean feat, walking down a steep staircase with a huge, lumpy duvet taking up most of the space. Breathing hard and cursing Potter, I took it one step at a time, praying that no-one would decide to start coming UP the stairs at the same time. Finally, finally I rounded the spiral and the Gryffindor common room came into view, with Potter's head craning up the stairs.

"I'm going to KILL YOU!" he shouted the second he saw me, so suddenly and violently that I actually screamed and took an abrupt step backwards. The duvet, however, had other ideas, and as I tried to step backwards I stood on its lining. I teetered for a moment, trying desperately to maintain my balance, but as my hands were full with trying to clutch it to my chest, there was nothing to hold onto.

"Oh, shiiiiiiiiiit…!" I cried, screaming frantically as I fell sideways into the wall, slithered down it, then lost all grip and went thundering down the remaining stairs, straight into Potter's kneecaps, like some blanketed boulder.

Thank God, the duvet cushioned my fall, but it didn't stop me ending up in a tangle of arms and legs with Potter at the base of the stairs.

"Bloody wonderful," I wheezed, my face once again rammed into the floor. "I can see it's going to be a good day already."

What was worse, the duvet had come unravelled in my fall, and I was now splayed, frog like, for the world to see, in my baggy teddy bear night shirt and black boxer shorts.

Oh, and somehow ending up sprawled over Potter's legs as well. Let's not forget that.

"Get the hell off of me!" I snarled, twisting violently away from him and attempting to gather the duvet around me once more. "What _is _your problem?"

Potter was sitting up and looking me up and down with an incredulous look on his face. "You were in _bed_?"

"Do you have any idea of the time, Potter!"

"Half past twelve in the afternoon?"

"Exactly!" I nodded smartly. "Much too bloody early."

He stared. "And…you think that's…" He shook his head, wisely not deciding to make an issue of it. "Anyway, I don't care about that. I'm here because I want a bloody apology!"

"What for?" I snapped, "I don't owe you anything!"

"Oooh, try 'putting me in the Hospital Wing overnight,' and then tell me you don't have to apologise for anything!"

I gazed at him steadily, although inwardly marvelling at my hexing power. "You deserved everything you got, Potter, and you know it. I bet even Lupin hates you now. Truth hurts, does it?"

It happened so fast I barely even saw it coming. One second I was kneeling there, enjoying the frozen look on Potter's face as I spoke those words, and the next, I found myself pinned to the floor, unable to move.

"Get OFF!" I screamed, jerking my legs up instinctively to throw him off, but within seconds he'd straddled my waist as well. Trapped, I glared furiously up at him. He was smiling now, as though enjoying the unexpected tilt in power. My heart sped up unexpectedly – our faces were less than six inches apart, and I was fully aware of the horribly compromising position we were in. If anyone walked in now…

"Bastard!" I shrieked, attempting to twist myself away from him, but his weight was crushing me. "Get _off, _you freaking pervert!"

He grinned. "Not unless you feel like apologising."

"Oh, for crying out loud Potter, you're such a bloody _baby_!" I kicked fruitlessly at the floor, trying hard to ignore the fact that, from this angle, I could see straight down his shirt. I breathed deeply, trying my utmost to remain calm and dignified but failing miserably.

He chuckled, as though reading my mind. "So? Are you saying sorry?"

"I'll scream," I snarled up at him, "And accuse you of rape."

He raised his eyebrows. "Yeah, right."

His obvious disbelief pushed me into it. I took a deep breath, running my tongue along the roof of my mouth, and then spat upwards as hard as I could. Making use of his exceptionally loud moment of disgust, ("My eye! MY EYE!") I managed to twist my arms away from his, and then used him as a ladder to pull myself into a sitting position. In a matter of seconds, I was on my feet again staring down at him.

He glared up at me. "Evil bitch."

"And proud." With a last snort and toss of my head (what am I now? Some kind of horse woman?), I swirled my cape – er, I mean, duvet, about my shoulders, and marched off into the glorious sunset. Or the Gryffindor girls staircase, whichever you prefer.

"Well," I said, half to myself, half to the world in general as I re-entered the dorm, "That was odd."

"Shut up." Zea, still not out of her standard morning-grump mood.

"Ze, it's half twelve." Despite what I'd said earlier to Potter, I was feeling unexpectedly energized. Potter's scent still lingered about me, and I suddenly felt quite happy. He thought he was _so _clever, always determined to get what he wanted, but I'd showed him good.

Then I remembered Moony, and my heart plummeted again.

Crawling back to my bed, I sat down on it with a sigh. Then I looked over at the squashed, curled up lump of blankets, which was all I could see of my friend. "Zea, do you think I'm a bitch?"

"Yes, because you're not letting me sleep."

I groaned and fell backwards onto my pillow. "I am, aren't I?" Unexpectedly, my eyes welled with tears. "I'm a right cow."

"Mmm." As can be seen, Zea was just _bursting_ with sympathy that morning.

"I don't even deserve nice guys."

"True."

"Maybe I should become a lesbian?"

"Yeah."

"Wanna get married some time, babe-eh?"

"No, ta."

I sighed heavily, though I couldn't suppress a grin at the image of me and Zea in white veils, promising our lives to each other. "I bet Moony hates me now," I said quietly. My eyes burned with self pity. "I bet half the school hates me now as well."

"Well, Lily, it has to be said, you know how much we all _despise _and _detest _you and everything…" Zea's voice rose sarcastically from her mountains of pillows. "In fact, I had to ward the mobs of people screaming your name away from our dorm door just now."

I smiled dryly. "What were they screaming?"

"Oh, you know, the usual. 'We hate you, yes we do' and all that. Oh, and not forgetting the smash-hit: "I hate you, you hate me, let's get together and kill Lily…"

I aimed a pillow in her direction. Something smashed about two seconds later. Neither of us looked up. "Seriously, though," I said, "Do you think he'll ever forgive me?"

"Forgive you for what?"

I glared at her pillows, which was the closest I could get to her face. "Zea, quit the jokes. I'm in urgent need of sisterly advice here."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Her voice was starting to sound irritated again.

"Me and Lupin! In the pub, last night! Wasn't you _there_?"

There was a long pause. Then a flat: "No."

I gazed over at her, flabbergasted. "Then where were you?"

Again, another drawn-out pause. Eventually she said, "Somewhere else."

A pillow fell to the floor as the bundle of blankets squirmed, and as she sat up I got a proper look at Zea's face for the first time that day. I gaped, quite unable to stop myself. "_Christ, _you look like _shit_."

"Thanks for that," she snapped back at me, "You always know how to make me feel beautiful."

She _did _look bad – the worst I'd ever seen her, even in the morning. Zea's skin looked pasty white and streaked with last night's foundation. Her eyes were surrounded by dark patches of smudged black, as she knuckled her forehead, eyes two scrunched up slits as she nursed what appeared to be a killer hangover. I looked her over in interest. "Were you getting drunk last night?"

"No," she said unconvincingly, massaging her throat with her other hand. "I just have a really bad migraine." She swallowed painfully. "I need water."

"I'll get you some." Springing up from my bed, I made my way over to the jug with permanent ice in – topped up every morning by the house elves. Pouring her a nice cold glassful, I walked back over to Zea's bed.

"Thanks." She reached gratefully for it, but I moved it back, just so it was slightly out of her reach.

"Were you drunk last night?"

"Lily!" She croaked angrily, attempting to rock forwards, but falling back, clutching her head. "Just give me the water!"

"Hey." I raised an eyebrow. "No water for liars."

"It's a migraine!"

"Ooops, looks like this water is going back into the jug…" I turned as though to walk away from her.

"Oh for the love of – fine! I was drunk! Happy now, Miss Picky?"

I turned around with a huge grin on my face. "Who with?"

"No-one!" she rasped angrily, eyes narrowing dangerously at me. "Lily, I'm desperate, just give me the water!"

"What did I say about liars not getting any water?"

Zea uttered a noise that might have been a cross between a shriek and a cry of pain, but it just sounded mighty like a constipated hyena to me, and I was too busy laughing to feel sorry for her. Then she turned away from me, and started fiddling with something on her bedside table, eyes downcast and defeated.

"You really want to know?" Her voice was soft, at least as soft as her sandpapery voice could make it. I edged closer at once, though carefully keeping the water out of arms reach.

"Yeah, go on." I squinted curiously at her. "Is it anyone we know?"

She sighed slightly. "You could say that. I mean, it's… ACCIO WATER!"

I screamed in shock as the glass was wrenched from my grip and sailed over to Zea, where it spilled half the contents over her nightdress as she caught it a little too deftly.

I'd never known anyone with the ability to grin smugly whilst drinking water before, but Zea somehow managed to do it with perfection, even with a massive water stain down her front.

**0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

**Heya guys. God, it's been a while since THIS puppy was updated, eh? I know that wasn't the best of chapters, but it's just setting the scene for the next one really…I don't know when that will come around…**

**At the moment, I am about three days from hitting GCSE exam month, and I'm seriously panicking. So story writing will have to be put on hold for a while, but I will write when I can. I'm sorry! But these exams are very important, you know, and they kind of come on top of my priority list. **

**But on a more cheerful note – PLEASE review! I do check my e-mails constantly when I should be revising, and reviews genuinely do inspire me to start writing. Reviews will keep me warm in the lonely, cold revision days where I'm howling into my pillow about how much I hate exams…**

**Love you all loads. Really. I do. **

**Peace out **

**Bubbles xxxxxxxxx**

**PS: And, um, Kristen and Danielle? Yeah, your reviews make me crack up, because they're the kind of things me and my best friend write. So, I didn't block/cut them off like one of you said I did. Just to let you know in case you both hate me now and plan to hunt me down or something…hehehe. **


	26. Smoking Potter

"Urugh!"

Raising my elbow from the table, I rubbed gingerly at it, and my fingers came away wet and sticky. Hearing Marlene snigger slightly, I looked up furiously.

"Whose smart idea was it to drip maple syrup everywhere?"

"You," replied Ashleigh calmly, "When you smothered it all over your pancakes just now."

The sniggers grew louder. Rolling my eyes, I hoiked my arm up to eye level and squinted at my elbow.

Mmmm. I loved maple syrup. Even the sight of it of my own skin looked pretty damn yummy.

"Bet you can't lick it off," Marlene said suddenly, as though reading my thoughts.

"Bet I can," I replied at once.

"You can't," piped up Ashleigh, "It's impossible. Scientific fact."

I snorted. "Scientific fact my anus. I can lick maple syrup off anything." And to prove it, I grabbed the end of my elbow, stuck my neck out, and started wrenching it closer to my face. "Here's what I think of scientific facts!" I said, sounding slightly muffled as I inched my chin steadily along my arm. Marlene was watching me with her mouth hanging open.

"Here I come!" And with that, I stuck my tongue out, and lolled it out as far as it would go.

Ah, bollocks. _Just _out of reach. I launched my tongue out again for a re-try, but again, it just fell short. Giving a sort of chimpanzee-like "Uurrrruugh!" I grabbed the end of my tongue and tried to force it onto the sweet syrup just centimetres away from it…

"Lily?"

I swung around with my thumb and finger still pinching the end of my tongue and my elbow still residing somewhere around my cheek. Moony stood there, staring at me with the smallest of politest frowns on his face.

I stared at him blankly, wondering why my heart had started drum rolling itself onto my ribs.

And that was when I felt the dribble sliding down my wrist.

Horrified, I yanked my hand away from my mouth, and spit went flicking off the end of my fingers. Moony followed the shining globule of saliva with his eyes as it went sailing merrily past his shoulder, then hastily pretended he hadn't seen anything.

Even though it landed on his ear.

"Hi!" I said hastily, praying to God that he hadn't noticed, "I – um – sorry, I was just - "

"Can I speak with you?" He cut over me abruptly. "In private?" He added, glancing significantly at Ashleigh and Marlene, who were both pretending very hard not to look interested in the slightest. Zea didn't count, seeing as she was asleep in the butter dish.

"Yeah, 'course," I muttered, standing up at once and following him out of the Hall.

He turned around to face me once we were in the Entrance Hall, and stood there looking quietly at me through strands of honey brown hair. Vivid blue eyes locked without pity onto mine, and a feeling of enormous regret washed over me. I could still see the hurt in his face, and I suddenly despised myself for what I had said about him.

"Moony - " I began, wanting desperately to apologise, to make it better somehow, but he cut brusquely over me.

"Don't call me that. Only my friends call me that."

I paused, thrown, red colouring my cheeks. "I'm sorry, Remus," I mumbled, but it sounded so pathetic, so lame, not how I'd wanted it to sound at all. He spoke again, in the same harsh, wooden voice.

"You had no right to say those things about me last night, Lily."

"I know!" I cried unhappily, unable to keep it in. "I know, and I'm really sor - "

"If you don't like me, you could have said it to my face."

"You don't understa - "

"How can you label me so quickly? How can you spend a mere hour or two with me, and then judge me?"

I closed my eyes against the tears. "Remus, I know all this," I whispered, fighting to stop my voice from trembling. "I've said this to myself a thousand times. I was _stupid_. I didn't think. I don't think you're boring, not really, but I just don't know you well enough." My eyes were burning in a film of water, and I stared determinedly up at the ceiling to stop them from falling. My voice faltered and died.

Moony spoke quietly. "You're right. You don't know me. At all." He sighed suddenly, and the coarse tone in his voice softened slightly. "But I'd be a hypocrite if I were to judge you for talking to your friends about other people. So, after this, I'm prepared to just let things go back to the way they were. Agreed?"

I looked up at him. Another pull of regret twanged loudly in my chest. "I'd like it if we could still be friends," I said softly, though not with much hope. He raised his eyebrows.

"You want to be friends with a boring person like me?"

"Stop it!" I cried, unable to stand the guilt any longer, "Stop it, I told you I'm sorry, I told you I didn't mean it!"

Moony stared at me expressionlessly. Then he said two words. "Joke, Lily."

I stared at him, my jaw hanging loosely. "Oh!" I laughed nervously. "Oh, I see."

"Lily, I'd like to be friends with you, but let's make it clear: I don't think we make a very good couple. Evidently, I appear to come across rather tedious and dull when I'm dating people." A hint of a teasing smile hung about his mouth, and I gazed at him, almost unable to believe it.

"You're never going to let me forget that, are you?"

"Nope." A flash of hurt still resided in his face, but it was slowly disappearing. I paused for a moment, fighting a new urge that had sprung up in me, then I choked out the words in a quavering voice.

"Would you mind if I hugged you?"

He looked stunned. "_Hug _me?" It was as though he'd never heard the words before, and he looked so cute when he was baffled, and I was so happy that he had appeared to have forgiven me, that I simply stepped forward and flung my arms around his neck to give him the tightest hug imaginable.

No, I don't like him like _that _any more. But I felt the occasion called for a hug, ok? I was happy, damn it!

My happiness filtered away slightly, as I heard a tight voice behind me. "Hello, Remus."

I released him at once, and spun around to see Potter standing there, his eyes fixed coldly on me. From behind me, Remus replied equally stiffly: "Morning, James."

The air was thick with tension, and I took my cue to leave gracefully. "See you later, Remus," I muttered, and slipped quietly away. I brushed shoulders with Potter as I left, and he reached out to grab my elbow. I froze.

"Sirius wants a word with your friend, by the way."

"Which one?" I asked, keeping my voice carefully neutral.

"That Zea girl."

"Fine." I twisted my arm violently away from his, and carried on marching into the Hall, my head held high, mind still buzzing with everything I had just been a part of.

Slipping back into my chair, I smiled absent mindedly at Ashleigh and Marlene's curious stares, then reached over the table and poked Zea in the scalp. "Zea, wake up."

A grunt. The black haired head didn't move. I poked again. A slightly louder grunt this time, followed by a middle finger being jabbed in the air in my general direction.

"Well, fine then!" I huffed in a mock-offended tone, "I was only going to tell you that Black wants to talk to you, but if you're going to be like that…"

There was a pause. Then there was a strange 'glop' as Zea pulled her forehead out of the butter dish. "Huh?" She muttered, looking at me through bleary eyes. "Er – who?"

"Black! You know, Sirius Black?"

"Why does Sirius want to talk to you?" asked Marlene sharply, a slight frown on her face. I glanced swiftly over at her. After dating Black for such a brief period so long ago, she still gets tetchy whenever he's mentioned.

"How the hell should I know?" snapped Zea, but her eyes refused to meet any of ours. "Erm – where is he?" She craned her neck around the Hall as though expecting to see him waving at her.

"Don't know," I shrugged. "Probably where they usually sit."

"Why does Black want to talk to you?" persisted Marlene, and there was no denying it, there was touch of ice in her tone. "He never talks to you."

"Obviously, he does now," replied Zea, and her own voice had a scathing edge to it. "S'cuse me, I think I'll go find out…why he wants me…"

She got up, swung her legs over the bench, and strode away. Marlene gazed after her, fire blazing in her dark blue eyes. Me and Ashleigh exchanged worried glances.

"Mar?" I leant forward, trying to catch her attention. "Is there anything going on?"

"Going on? What do you mean? There's nothing going on!" Her voice came out unusually high pitched. I frowned.

"You're a crap liar, Marlene," I said severely. "Don't tell me you fancy Black again."

Marlene jumped up like she had been stung. "You think you know everything, Lily, but you _don't_!" She shrieked, right into my face, then before I could try and say anything, she turned on her heel and stomped away.

Honestly. That is what she did.

"Has the whole world gone bloody crazy?" I asked Ashleigh, who was also looking pretty stunned.

"Either that or it's us," she replied, then cracked a smile. "I like to think it's the former, but you can never tell."

0o0

I was trailing sadly to Ancient Runes, wondering despondently why I had taken a subject that, yes, was fascinating and a pleasure to learn, but also meant I became very derived socially, as none of my friends took it.

I sighed, holding my books to my chest and running my eyes over the portraits on the walls. Some of them waved and called out to me, but I could only manage a vague smile in return. My mind was caught up in a whirl of confused thoughts. Marlene and Zea…Black and Potter…it was too much for one day.

"Hey, Evans!"

Bloody hell.

Footsteps came thumping up the corridor behind me, and a strong smell of cigarette smoke came with them. Purple fingers of smoke entwined my ankles briefly, and the next second, Potter was beside me, a cigarette hanging from his lips.

"Hi," he said, grinning at me and expelling a cloud of berry purple smoke over his shoulder. "You look grumpy."

"Oh, and I wonder why," I said sarcastically, holding my breath as more smoke rolled in vivid plumes toward my face. I strode straight through it, and my nose broke it cleanly in two. "What do you want?"

"A conversation?"

I rolled my eyes. "Me and you don't converse, Potter. We exchange insults. Didn't you know?" I breathed in deeply, then choked as purple fumes went straight down the back of my throat. For a moment I battled inwardly against the hacking urge to cough, then it died away.

"Oh, Evans, Evans..." Even through the haze of smoke, Potter's grin was visible. "Don't try to hide it. I know, inside, you're screaming with desire for me…"

I really did choke that time, and this time I ended up bent double in a coughing fit, eyes streaming. "You _what_?" I gasped eventually. I breathed in more foul purple fumes, and with a snarl of frustration, I tore his cigarette away from his fingers and ground it into the floor with my heel.

The smoke vanished instantly, but the smell still lingered. Potter looked mildly surprised. "You don't smoke, I take it?"

I shot him a scathing look. "No. I'm not stupid like that." I gave another weak cough, then tentatively straightened up. Potter was looking at me with his head on one side, something of a concerned look in his eyes.

"You OK?" His tone indicated he couldn't care less.

"Fine," I said roughly, shoving past him to continue to my lesson. "Just piss off now, Potter. You're seriously getting on my nerves."

He waited until I was about ten steps away, then called after me. "I've got something to tell you."

I hesitated, then stopped and turned around. "Go on, then."

He opened his mouth, but just at that moment, footsteps were heard around the corner. Professor Sprout appeared, grubby fingernails raking through her fly-away hair. She seemed to be muttering to herself, but stopped abruptly when she saw us. "What are you doing here?" she snapped, with no trace of her usually cheerful disposition. "You should both be in class."

"Yes, Professor," I agreed at once, snatching my chance to get away. "I was just going to my lesson."

"I'll talk to you later, yeah, Evans?" Potter called after me. He sounded slightly frustrated.

"Not if I see you first," I said under my breath, as I flipped a hand over my shoulder without bothering to turn around.

I did wonder, though. As I sat through Ancient Runes, I couldn't help but wonder exactly what it was that Potter needed to tell me.

0o0

**MY EXAMS ARE OVER! **

**Actually, they finished quite a while ago...(gulps) I bet half of you have forgotten who I am, haven't you? Yes...ah well. I believe I can live with the pain (sobs)**

**Thank you SO MUCH for all of your wonderful reviews. Really, you all do rock. And I when I receive my GCSE results, I will be sharing them with you. Don't try and stop me. You all deserve to know, the amount of people who wished me luck...it was so touching...(sniff)**

**Anyway...how about a review? Gosh, that does seem cheeky to ask, after not updating for such a hideously long time...but you all still love me, don't you? Don't you? DON'T YOU? (deranged grin)**

**Peace out, Sock Rockers **

**Bubbles xxx**


	27. Revelations

"I think something's up with Zea," Ashleigh murmured to me.

I was attempting to sleep at the time, as I had detention with Potter later and needed all the previous relaxation I could get, so I just "Uh-huh"ed in reply, then nestled more deeply into my cushion.

She didn't get the message. "Don't you think she's been acting…oddly?"

"Mmm."

"And she still won't tell us where she was that night you and Lupin…you know. And she's been going out a lot as well, without us…in fact, I don't even know where she is now."

"Yeah."

I heard her sigh deeply, and my eyes flickered open slightly. One of her hands was stroking rhythmically along the velvet of the sofa, the light from the fire throwing her fingers into sharp relief. For the first time, I noticed a long, thin scar running almost the entire length of her hand, starting near the wrist, and ending just over the knuckle of her index finger.

"Where'd you get that scar, Ash?" I asked curiously. Her hand stopped running along the sofa immediately.

"What scar?"

"This one." I reached out and gently ran a finger over her hand. "I've never noticed it before."

Ashleigh held up her hand, fingers spread wide, as though examining it for the first time in ages. She chuckled slightly. "Actually, James gave that to me."

I sat up. "_Potter _did that?"

She nodded. "When we were about eight. He's my cousin," she added, at the bewildered expression on my face. I breathed in sharply.

"I never knew that!"

She shrugged. "It's no big deal, almost all the purebloods are related in some way. Me and Frank Longbottom are second cousins, did you know _that_?"

I shook my head wordlessly. "So how did you get the scar?"

She smiled in a somewhat nostalgic way. "Bit of a long story. We were playing a game and it went wrong."

I was just about to question her further, but at that moment I heard the portrait creak open, and a small crowd of people cheered. I glanced around casually, then squeaked in surprise and dropped to the floor with a thump.

"Potter's coming," I hissed at Ashleigh, who was frowning at me in a way that seemed to question my sanity. "I'll be back in a moment."

And with that, I rolled under the sofa and lay perfectly still.

Hey, it felt like a good plan at the time. If Potter couldn't find me, he wouldn't be able to talk to me, and I would be spared the stress of dealing with him. Yeah, it was perfect.

The only slight flaw was, as soon as I rolled onto my back and looked up, I saw a large black, hairy spider lurking about a centimetre away from my eye, breathing at me.

Now, when I say 'large, black spider,' I do not mean the medium sized, 'ooh-er-I-say-look-a-spider' type spider. We are talking mammoth, gargantuan, the mater and pater of all spiders. To say it was rather big would be the largest understatement of my life.

I looked at the spider, and the spidergrinned back at me. For a moment I lay completely still, my spine rigid. Then I flipped.

"ARRRRRAAAAAAGHHH!" I screeched, shooting out of the sofa faster than I went in, standing up and running around in little circles, flapping my arms and brushing my face obsessively. "GeritoffgeritoffgeritOFF!"

A little voice in the back of my brain was shouting at me to calm down, and it took me a good few minutes of warbling and brushing frantically at myself to do that. When I finally went still, the first thing that came to my attention was that the entire common room was staring at me, my hyperventilating the only noise breaking the silence.

"Er…I, um…" My words seemed to echo around the room, and I felt my face flare up. "I…" Oh class, Lily, just class. You've completely embarrassed yourself for about the millionth time. Quick – think of something witty to say that will make everyone laugh with you and ultimately restore what little reputation you have left! "I…" I gestured lamely to the sofa. "I was…hiding under the…"

The sea of faces stared at me, and I sighed angrily. "Oh, for Merlin's sake! I was hiding under the sofa and I saw a spider, OK? And…" I glared around at them all for impact. "…it was a big one!"

Crickets chirped. I rolled my eyes and sat myself back down on the sofa. "As you were," I said loudly, and with that, the noise level steadily grew once more.

"That was random," Ashleigh remarked mildly. I didn't deign to reply.

Footsteps came up behind me, and I knew without looking who it would be. "Can I help you, Potter?" I said, hoping that my tone of voice would indicate that I wouldn't help him anyway, even if I could.

A body flung itself over the back of the sofa, so a torso and irritatingly familiar scruffy haired head lolled upside down next to me. "S'up, Lilbo."

I turned to stare incredulously at him. "_What _did you just call me?"

He grinned, which looked like it required quite a bit of effort as his glasses had been tipped crazily on his face and one lens was poking into the corner of his mouth. Nonetheless, he did a pretty good job of it. "I called you Lilbo, darling. You don't mind, do you?"

"Oh no, of course I don't," I snapped. "I often allow the people I hate with a passion to call me pet names."

Again with the painful grin. "Well, that's alright then." He wriggled, pushing himself forward with a groan, then flipped himself head over heels to land in the sofa beside me with a thump.

"Got something to tell you," he said casually. I closed my eyes and slowly counted to ten. I had only reached five when I felt something (or someone) poke me hard in the forehead. And when I say hard, I mean my whole frigging head practically hit the sofa in response to it.

"What was that for?" I half screamed, snapping open my eyes and glaring at his sniggering outline.

"I thought you'd fallen asleep, and I need to tell you something."

"Well, maybe I don't _want _to hear what you've got to tell me, did you ever think of that?"

Potter raised an eyebrow. Then he said simply "Ok," and settled back into the sofa and began staring at the wall.

A minute passed. I turned away from him in disgust and looked at Ashleigh. She looked back at me, her face contorted with the effort of hiding a smile. I frowned. "It's not funny, Ash, he's being an idiot."

"Yeah." She shrugged. "I'm not laughing at him. I'm laughing at the way you respond to him."

I stared at her, my mouth hanging open. I felt as though she'd hit me in the face with a saucepan. "Oh, so how would you deal with him, then?" I snapped, feeling aggravated. God, it's one thing when people like Potter wind you up, but when your own friends do it...

She leant over me. "Oi, James."

He snapped his head around to look at her at once. "Yeah, Ashleigh, love?"

"What do you want to tell Lily?"

His face lit up with a broad grin. "Nothing important, really. Just that our detention started ten minutes ago."

I sat there gazing at him for one good long moment. Then I glanced at my watch. Then I snorted impatiently and stood up, brushing down my clothes. I bid a very calm, very dignified good bye to Ashleigh.

And then I bolted toward the portrait and disappeared from sight.

Potter came haring after me as I marched briskly away, mind whirring to overload. I waited until he had drawn level with me, and then I started panicking.

"This is getting bloody ridiculous," I muttered, half to myself, and half to Potter, as we both strode down the corridor. He didn't say anything. His eyes glanced up and looked sideways at me, but he only shrugged slightly and kept his silence. I didn't care. I was pissed off enough to rant at a wall if necessary. Really. That was how annoyed I was.

"And, oh Gods, we're quarter of an hour late! What if she gives us an extra detention, or something?"

"Don't be stupid," snorted Potter, "She's not going to do that."

"You're the stupid one!" I snapped, flaring up at once, "I can't believe you just sat there, and let me do all that without reminding me of the time!"

He grinned. "What, and interrupted the show? Then I would _really _have been stupid."

Panic lurched inside me, and I let his words fly clean over my head. "Less talking, faster walking!" I replied, speeding up my pace. "What the hell is it with you, Potter? Every time I'm with you something crap happens! You're like – like a bad omen, or something!"

"I think you've got the wrong end of the wand there, Evans," he said lazily, matching my walk step for step. "Every time I'm with you, you always end up freaking out about rule breaking. I mean, Merlin, is that all you do?"

"What do you mean by that?" I said stiffly, wondering if I should break out into a jog. I could see Sprout's furious face already, getting steadily redder with rage as the minutes ticked by.

"What do I mean by that? Christ, Lily, don't you know?"

He sounded so shocked, so…pitying, that I found myself grinding to a halt. For a moment I stood in silence, frowning at the floor. He stopped as well, and I could feel his eyes on my face, but for some reason I couldn't look at him. My eyes remained rooted to the tiled floor, studying the scuff marks from students shoes that had been worn there over the centuries.

"What…" I murmured, pushing my fingers through my hair. "I'm not with…"

"You never dare to have fun, do you?" Potter said, with a hint of a teasing grin on his face. "Nah, you're way too much of a stress-head."

Alright, now that was going too far. Who was he to tell me I never had fun, when he barely knew me? "Excuse _me_," I said, jerking my head up to meet his eyes. "For your information, I do actually know how to have a good time!"

And _that_ sounded so unbelievably sick I still have trouble accepting I ever said it…

Judging from Potter's grin, he thought so too.

Damn.

He turned his head, glancing casually up and down the corridor, then gently took hold of my wrist and guided me into a small niche set into the wall. I was so horrified at the underlying sexual innuendo of my previous words that I let him, and didn't really comprehend what he was doing until I looked up to find his face all but three inches away from mine.

"Hi," I said, raising an eyebrow at him. "What the hell are you doing?"

His face looked deadly serious, which was A) unusual and B) mildly frightening. I mean, this was Potter, for heavens sake, Potter the Prank King. He hardly ever looked serious. My heart sped up slightly as I scanned his expression for any signs of a possible joke, but there was none.

"Do you remember me saying I needed to tell you something?" His voice was low and heavy, as though afraid someone else might hear. Despite myself, I leant in slightly.

"Yeah," I said, curious now. "I take it you're going to tell me now?"

He took a breath, and for a moment I saw his liquid hazel eyes flick away. There was silence for a long moment, filled only with the faint ringing noise in my ears.

"It's, ah,Sirius," he murmured awkwardly, and this time his voice was so faint I could barely hear him. "He's been…messing around with some girls."

I snorted loudly, and the tension broke. "Is that all you had to tell me? Potter, I'd be more shocked if you told me he _wasn't _messing around with some girls."

He continued to look grave. "No, Lily, you don't get it. One of the girls…" he looked away again, focusing firmly upon the floor. "One of the girls is Zea."

Vaguely, I felt my jaw drop.

What. The. Bloody. Hell.

Potter was gazing almost nervously at me, his hand jumping obsessively to his head. When I next looked up at him, his hair was all standing on end, like a birds nest. "Why are you telling me this?" I asked, suddenly suspicious. "I thought you and Black were best friends."

He nodded, looking slightly guilty. "True, we are, but I think what he's doing this time... it's really out of line. I've tried telling him, but the thing with Sirius is that the more you tell him not to do something, the more he'll want to do it." He gave an aggravated sigh, curling his fingers around a lock of hair and clenching it tight. "I was hoping you could knock some sense into your friend."

I could hardly believe my ears. I was silent for a moment as I mulled it over in my head, then twitched slightly in disgust. _Oh, Zea, what have you got yourself into_…?

"How long has it been going on for?" I murmured, trying to tear the image of Zea and Black entwined in a most compromising position out of my head. He shrugged.

"I only found out a few days ago, when you had that row with Remus. I got suspicious when he asked to borrow my - " He cut himself off abruptly. "I mean, after the row…he went to another pub." The words sounded lame, even to me, the Queen of Lame Excuses. "I watched him go, and I, er, saw Zea with him."

Ashleigh's words suddenly flashed back into my head, and I heard her as clearly as if she were next to me. "_She's been going out a lot as well, without us…in fact, I don't even know where she is now_…"

It was enough. Yes, Potter sounded like he was doing a bit of covering up in those carefully chosen words of his, but I could tell there was definitely truth in there as well. And I didn't like it one bit. I stood up straighter, pushing Potter out of the way. "Where are they?" I said, forcing my voice to remain calm.

He frowned warily at me. "What are you doing?"

"I plan upon finding them," I said, still in my level voice. "And when I do, I intend to whack Black's head against a wall." I stared coldly straight into his eyes. "You know where they are, don't you?"

"Sirius doesn't tell me anything about his dates," Potter replied coolly, his expression unreadable. I found myself reaching out and clenching his elbow.

"But you know! You're his best friend, you know where he would go." My eyes locked onto his. "You know where they are."

I deliberately didn't phrase it as a question. Potter may well be infamous for his cool lies, but I could weasel truth out of anyone. He gazed straight back at me without blinking, and didn't say anything.

"The Astronomy Tower?" I guessed wildly. His open hazel eyes never wavered. Again, he didn't say anything.

"Another common room?" The silence was becoming oppressive; those eyes of his were becoming drills, boring into me. I gritted my teeth, determined not to blink.

It's funny, but when you stare at one thing for a long time, everything else seems to disintegrate into darkness. Suddenly, all I could see were those deep, expressionless eyes gazing steadily at me through clouds of blackness. I longed to look away, but something about him held my eyes to his.

"Outside? By the Lake?" It was my last, desperate hope.

His lip twitched.

I turned my head to look out the window, but from our position in the castle I couldn't even see the lake. "That bastard," I said quietly. I didn't even think twice. I couldn't even remember when I started moving. All I could ever recall was that the next moment, I was striding down the corridor with one thought only in my head - _get to Zea. _

He was after me in a shot. "Evans, think about what you're doing here!" For the first time ever, he sounded worried. "Sprout's waiting for us in her Greenhouse – she'll tell McGonagall if we don't show up." I could tell he was trying to distract me, and I shot him a scathing look and continued my way downstairs, past the snoozing portraits, past other students hurrying to get back before curfew.

He matched me, step for step, like an irritating shadow. "Zea will be fine, Lily, Sirius isn't going to hurt her or anything - "

Alright. That got to me. "He's not going to hurt her?" I said through a clenched jaw. "In what way do you mean, Potter, physically, or emotionally?"

He had the grace to look slightly ashamed. "I meant physically. But look, there's nothing you can do _now, _can't it wait until…?"

"NO, IT CANNOT BLOODY WAIT!" I screamed at him. "I happen to value my friend's feelings, Potter! It's thanks to people like _you_," I shot him a venomous glance, "that the rest of us feel like crap all the time – because you _treat _us like crap!" My voice was getting higher pitched and stronger as the intensity of my rage mounted. "Who the hell does Black think he is?" I snarled, so vehemently that people stared. "What the hell gives him the idea that he's special enough to get away with treating people like that?"

"Lily, I couldn't agree with you more, but - "

"Liar," I spat, speeding up my walk until I was almost sprinting. "I've seen the way you mess your girls around, like they're toys! What about Katy, eh, Potter? What about the rest of your fan club?" We were demounting the snowy white marble staircase into the Entrance Hall now, my shouts echoing around us like there were twenty Lilys all screaming at us in their fury. Potter looked slightly stunned, like I'd hit him in the face with a brick.

"But – I'm not – I'm not as bad as all that!" he stuttered, sounding genuinely shocked. "I'd never two-time someone – that's why I told you about Sirius!"

I ignored him, and strode my way to the doors, pushing them open with difficulty and slipping out into the evening. The cold air smacked into my face and took my breath away. Night had almost fallen – a single bead of sunlight remained on the sill of the world, waiting to be swallowed by the gradually growing darkness. I paused on the steps, scanning the grounds as I took deep, calming breaths of the chilly December air. Potter ground to a halt beside me. For a moment, all was still. It was just the two of us, connected in silence. He was still looking askance at me, looking vaguely upset, for reasons that completely escaped me. After all, it wasn't _his _friend who was being played by some arrogant _twat…_

The thought spurred my anger up again. "Don't even think of trying to stop me," I said stiffly. "There's no point."

He heaved a deep sigh. "Not much can stop you, Evans."

I turned back to face the grounds, grateful for the freezing air that cooled my burning face. Where would they be? Where would (my stomach twisted at the thought) _he _take her?

Uncertain for the first time since I'd started this little trip, I stepped down until my feet hit the grass, eyes taking in the silvery, shimmering mass of water that was the lake, reflecting the final beams of sunlight. And then I saw them.

I thought at first that they were a branch from a tree, dropped on the ground, but when I squinted a little closer, I saw inky black hair spread along the ground, hands…

Oh, Gods. They were kissing.

My stomach churned. I felt sick, and when I say sick, I mean literally revolted. _Zea, how the hell could you let this happen? _

I began the longest walk of my life. I tried to stir up the old anger that had been previously drilling white hot needles into my brain, but now all I could feel was cold, hollow sadness. _She must have thought she could change him, even when she saw what he did to Marlene…God, how am I going to tell her? _

What was I going to say?

I glanced around, and noticed Potter hadn't followed me. He hadn't however, disappeared. I could just make out his form, squatting on the steps to the castle with his arms around his knees. His glasses flashed slightly in my direction.

Time seemed to slow down as I approached the couple lying on the grass. I could barely see either of their faces, but I saw Black's hand, complete with that silver ring he always wears, trailing down her back, and could picture his smug grin.

_I bet he's already thinking about who he's going to get off with next…_

The rage that had been temporarily dormant flared once more – gripping around me so tightly I could barely see. "Get the hell off her," I snarled, my voice low but shaking with intensity.

They broke apart in shock, rolling over and looking up at me. In the impending darkness, I could barely see their faces, but I knew from the second she looked around that that girl _was not _Zea.

"Lily?" The girl's voice sounded plaintively terrified. I staggered. My heart plummeted to the depths of my toes.

"Marlene?"

0o0

(Fiendish cackle) So how many of you sawTHAT one coming?

This chapter is dedicated to everyone who has ever had to wait for AGES for the results of important exams. My GCSE results are due on the 24th of August. Unfortunately, I have to wait an extra two days to read them as I will be on holiday on that day...so, I'm going to be the tiniest bit dead around late August. (Whimpers)

Thank you to everyone who reviewed - YOU ALL ROCK! (I think I may have said that before, but repetition never hurt anybody)

How about a review now? Go on...I didn't take THAT long to update this time, did I?

Peace out

Bubbles xxx


	28. Questions

"Marlene?"

My brain was stuck – I felt frozen in shock. Marlene lay sprawled on the grass before me, the horror on her face probably mirroring mine. I couldn't speak. I couldn't think. Three words ran consistently like a stuck tape over and over in my mind – _Marlene and Sirius…Marlene and Sirius…MARLENE and SIRIUS? _

Marlene swore and muttered something under her breath as she stood up, then reached out for me, the expression on her face imploring.

"Lily - "

I flinched violently away from her touch. My eyes fell on Black, who was propped on his elbows and staring up at me, his face wreathed in shadows. Marlene grabbed my upper arm as I felt my face drain white. "Lily – stop – it's not what you think!" Her voice rose to a panicky pitch as I stepped forward, my eyes glued to the darkness of Black's face.

"You bastard," I said quietly, and my wand was in my hand before I barely had time to think about it. "You total – you complete - "

He was on his feet so fast I barely had time to react, and in the same instant I felt an iron grip on my wrist, wrenching my wand away from him. I whipped my head around. Marlene was standing before me with her jaw set.

"Lily, listen to me, you don't understand - "

"Damn right I don't understand!" I shouted before I could stop myself. "What the _hell _is going on here, Mar? First Potter tells me - " I stopped abruptly as Black started violently at my words, whipping his head around to stare back at the castle. I frowned at him, trying to scrutinise his face through the pressing gloom, but it was impossible.

"What? What's Potter been saying?" Marlene's voice was getting more and more shrill, her fingers tightened to an almost painful grip on my wrist. "Sirius, what have you told him?"

"I haven't told him anything," muttered Black, speaking for the first time since I arrived, his voice a deep, melodious echo in the cold night air. I started to shiver, partly through rage, and partly because it was bloody freezing. Inside, however, my thoughts were a maelstrom of confusion. Through my anger, a new voice had started up, a tiny voice, but it was there all the same.

_Maybe you should listen to Marlene, _the voice was whispering to me.

_I don't want to listen to anything! _The rest of me raged back, the part that was still itching to pin Black by his robes to a wall and beat him to a bloody pulp. _I want to hurt something NOW! _

_But hurting something won't solve anything, will it?_

"It'll make me feel better!" I hissed, then blinked as Marlene and Black both stared at me. Damn it, did I just say that out loud?

"Come with me," Marlene said quietly, and she pushed me before her with one hand on my back, leading me away from Black. I spun around, out raged, but before I had a chance to start yelling again, she came right up close to me. Her eyes had turned to ice.

"Lily, for _God's _sake, for once in your life just listen to _me_!"

My jaw closed with a snap. Black had begun striding away across the grounds, his feet barely audible thumps on the dewy grass. I followed him with my eyes, fingering my wand absently. The wind blew again, harsh and cold. Goosebumps rose and trailed slowly down my skin in a silvery shower. My head thumped. I was so confused, I wanted to throw up.

"Come," Marlene muttered, and she took hold of my arm, guiding me toward the lake. I complied without a word.

She sat down with her feet near the water, wrapping her arms tightly around her knees. She turned her head and looked up at me as I continued to stand, gazing out at the expanse of water with wide eyes.

"Sit." She thumped the grass beside her. "Please?" she added, when I merely stiffened my shoulders and didn't react. She sighed slightly, and from the corner of my eye I saw her bury her head in her hands.

"Lily, please. Just sit with me, OK? I know you're angry…"

"I'm more than angry," I replied softly, without taking my eyes off of the lake. "I wouldn't mind so much if I was just angry." I paused, trying in vain to gather the vicious tangle of thoughts in my head, trying to think of the best way to put all my feelings into a sentence, but all that spat out was: "What is going on, Marlene!"

Marlene, her hands still clamped around her face, replied in the voice of someone who had given up trying to reason with a mad woman. "I'm going out with Sirius."

Yes, that much I knew already. But hearing the words come from her mouth, utterly devoid of any shame or regret actually stung harder than when I'd seen them kissing. "_Why, _for crying out loud?" I found myself shrieking. I stared down at Marlene, at her huddled figure gazing with large dark eyes at the horizon. "Marlene, you know what he's like! Have you forgotten what he's done to you before?"

"But he's changed!" I flinched as her words rose to a shout, echoing out across the calm surface of the lake. She groaned loudly, clenching at her hair, her white knuckles peeking out in stark contrast to her dark mop. "I know you'll never understand, but he has changed, Lily! He's kind, and sincere, and he's promised me…that he regrets what he did." Her voice shook dangerously, and I could hear a sob threatening to break out at the back of her throat. "He told me that he hasn't been able to stop thinking about me since that day…"

"And you believed him?" I cut over her, not bothering to disguise the incredulity in my voice. "You actually believed him." I stated flatly.

"Yes, I did," Marlene replied quietly, defiance in her words. "And I still do."

"So why," I asked, feeling tears begin to prick at my own eyes, "Didn't you tell me what was going on?"

Silence. The wind picked up as the last drop of sunlight slid down the sill of the world, and the darkness was complete. The forest moaned at our backs, and the chatter of some creature rang out eerily in the depths of the trees. Marlene shifted slightly, then turned her head away so I couldn't see her face.

"Because I knew you'd never understand," she replied at last. Her voice quavered slightly, but she didn't start crying. "Because I knew you'd react like this."

I gazed at the back of her head, as the silence raged around us. "Well," I said harshly, "If you know me so bloody well, then you'll know what I'm going to do now, don't you?"

She didn't reply, didn't even look around as I turned on my heel and started making my way back up to the castle. She didn't try to stop me, or call after me. Not that I would have stopped even if she had. My eyes were burning and I had to physically hold my hand to my mouth to stop the sobs. At the steps, I turned and looked back. The darkness was now so immense that I couldn't even pick her out from the shadows that had consumed her.

I wanted to scream. It was there, clawing at my throat, demanding to be let out, but in the end I said nothing at all. I sucked in a deep breath and turned away, striding back into the warmth of the castle.

Potter was still in the common room when I came in through the portrait hole. He was stretched out on the sofa before the dying fire, eyes closed and mouth slightly open. I thought at first he might have been asleep, and crept softly across the room with the intention of tip-toeing past, so as not to wake him. However, when I came within a closer proximity to him, I found I couldn't resist stopping to look at him. It hit me that I had never really looked at Potter's face before – at least, not without some strong negative vibes blocking my vision somewhat. Despite everything, I couldn't help but smile – lying there, with his shields down for once, he did look sort of cute. Long, sensuous eyelashes, dim light from the fire illuminating him softly on one side as his head lolled back on his cushion. Almost attractive.

His eyes flew open. I jumped out of my skin.

"Tut tut, Evans. Didn't you know it's rude to stare at people when they're sleeping?"

"Merlin, Potter, you made me jump," I said crossly, backing up at once. He smiled and shrugged, sitting up and looking at me with unnervingly knowing eyes.

"Want to sit down?" he said casually, inclining his head to the empty place beside him where his legs had previously been. I hesitated for a moment. I had been planning on going to bed – but what was the point in that? I'd probably cry into my pillow for a while, feign sleep when Marlene returned, then lie awake for hours on end with nothing but the canopy above me and my thoughts for company. Thoughts I really didn't want to examine too closely at the moment.

I sat down next to him. He slumped back on his cushions and regarded me in silence for a moment.

"What are you staring at?" I asked him, suddenly feeling incredibly weary. I didn't want to discuss Marlene and her love life. I wanted to forget she even existed, that I even cared if she existed. Just for a while.

"You," he replied flippantly. I glanced around at him, and he stared back, his gaze unflinching. "It's been a bit of a crap night, hasn't it?" he asked rhetorically. I snorted in agreement. He chuckled humourlessly under his breath.

"I take it you don't want to talk about it?" He sounded, bloody hell, almost understanding. I smiled in spite of myself.

"Talk about what?" I asked airily.

"I have no idea," he replied gravely, without missing a beat. "Just rambling nonsense of no meaning."

"No difference to the usual, then," I said half-jokingly, and he laughed. It was nice to hear someone laugh, I thought blearily to myself. He had a pleasant, easy laugh that made the world seem so much friendlier. I hadn't laughed like that in a while.

"I suppose you're going to just pretend you weren't ever involved now, aren't you?" The words fell out of my mouth before I even thought about them. The atmosphere stiffened instantly, and I regretted saying it at once. My voice sounded hard and accusing – but I couldn't take it back. Instead, I went on, and my throat contracted painfully as all the thoughts about Marlene returned in a heavy rush. "You're just going to tell me it's my business now, aren't you? That it's got nothing to do with you?" Tears prickled at my eyes, because I knew it was true. Desperation and panic welled up inside me – I was meant to deal with this on my own. I couldn't cope.

"You have such a low opinion of me, don't you?"

Potter's voice broke through the thick bank of thoughts. Turning, surprised, I saw he looked almost resentful at my words. I paused, frowning.

"Why, isn't it true?"

"_No_," he replied, sounding offended I'd even suggested the idea. "I'm involved now. Merlin, did you think I'd just tell you and then say 'Ok – you're on your own, now!' and ignore you until everything is peachy again?"

I stared at him, thunderstruck. "Well…yeah."

His face darkened. "Well, you thought wrong."

There was silence for a few moments, which was filled mostly with me biting awkwardly at my nail and him staring broodingly into the fire.

"So…what are you going to do?" he said eventually. I stood up abruptly.

"I don't want to talk about it," I snapped. He raised his hands in mock defence and looked away.

"Sorry," he said, somewhat scathingly. "But you'll have to talk about it at some point. Trust me, hiding from your own thoughts doesn't work."

I stared at him, shocked. How the hell did he know that that was exactly what I had been planning upon doing? He looked up, a shade of his familiar madcap grin on his face and a _gotcha! _glint in his eye.

"I'm going to bed," I said stiffly, trying to stop myself looking away from his knowing eyes, eyes that seemed to be reading every thing in my mind. "Good night."

He smiled. "'Night, Lily."

I nodded mechanically and turned to go. I reached the stairs and had one foot resting on the bottom step when I hesitated. I looked back and saw Potter watching me from the couch, now only a silhouette in the gloom.

"Potter?" I said softly.

His voice came through the darkness at once. "Yeah?"

I closed my eyes. "Thanks."

There was silence for a moment. "No problem," he replied, but I was already on my way again, cheeks burning, though for the life of me I didn't know why. Maybe it was just the heat.

Contrary to what I had originally predicted, sleep found me pretty quickly that night, though it was by no means pleasant. From the moment I dropped my head onto my pillow I fell into a heavy, intense sleep, filled with vivid dreams and visions that had me waking up at random points during the night, gasping for breath. I believe I yelled out Marlene's name at one point, which must have been pretty loud because I woke myself up.

"What?" she'd grunted sleepily from the bed beside me, and for a moment it felt like everything was back to normal between us. Then I woke up properly and remembered, and rolled over without saying anything.

It was only after I'd woken up for the third time after a particularly confused dream that I decided I couldn't go back to sleep again. I lay awake for some time, gazing up at the canopy and listening to the sounds of sleep around me.

One thought started bugging at me almost straight away. At first, my sleep glazed brain couldn't make sense of it, but the longer I lay there the more insistent it became, until it was pounding at my brain.

One thought.

_Potter told me that_ Zea_ was going out with Sirius. _

He hadn't told me anything about Marlene.

What did that mean?

Did that mean that Black was two timing Marlene _and _Zea?

No. I sat bolt upright in my bed, gazing with wide eyes at the drapes without seeing them at all. That couldn't be right. Surely – not even Black…

I couldn't believe myself for not seeing it before. I had been so caught up in the confusion and hurt with Marlene that I had forgotten entirely what Potter had originally told me. My hands went automatically to my head, and I gripped at my hair as I stared blankly down at my duvet. Had he been lying? Had he made a mistake? Had he seen Marlene and actually mistaken her for Zea?

I ripped my drapery aside and groped through the dark for my watch. The luminous hands informed me that it was quarter past three. I dropped it back onto the bedside table, then sat there with my head in my hands, thinking.

The way I saw it, I had three options. I could attempt sleep again, and forget about it until the morning. I could wake up Zea and ask her if she was secretly dating Black. Or I could go and wake up Potter and ask _him. _

Now, the sensible choice would be to go back to sleep. But I took one glance at my pillow and knew without a doubt sleep would not find me again that night. As for waking up Zea, well, that was just plain ridiculous. No. Out of the question.

That left one option. The craziest one of the lot.

I closed my eyes, paused for a moment to question my sanity, then decided to get on with it and slithered out of bed.

The common room was a solid wall of black as I came down the stairs, clutching the folds of my dressing gown tightly about myself. Though stumps of candles lit the spiral staircase with a warm, flickering glow, the fire in the common room had long died out. I stopped abruptly as I descended the last steps, and stood there, my eyes struggling to penetrate the gloom. Wind howled around the castle, and I shivered, stepping forward with my hand outstretched, groping blindly for a sofa, or a chair, or anything to guide my way toward the boys staircase. My eyes picked out the soft candle light from the mouth of their stairs at once, but I still had a whole roomful of sofas and chairs to navigate my way around. In the dark.

I've never really told anyone about my fear of the dark. It's not a phobia – not really. I've just never liked being alone in the dark, even in a place I've known for years. I always think that I'm seeing things that can't possibly be there, and before I know it my imagination catches up with my senses, and that's when I start to panic.

I could feel myself starting to panic then. All my instincts, born of a muggle childhood, were screaming at me to feel around for a light switch to get rid of the asphyxiating darkness _at once_. I was desperately trying to ignore them. _Just get to the staircase…just get to the staircase…_

I tripped and almost fell several times. My breathing started to get faster as the need to get back into the light became more urgent…I started a half run, letting my feet guide the way…and suddenly I was there. On the stairs.

I froze, my heart still beating very hard against my chest. I was here.

As I gazed up the spiral steps, tiny threads of doubt starting worming into my mind. Seriously, now, I asked myself. Was I really going to do this?

I frowned and leaned on the wall, contemplating. Was I really just going to go marching up these stairs and wake up one of the people I hated most in the world, all for a question I couldn't get out of my head?

But I couldn't just go back to bed. One glance at the pitch black common room assured me of that.

I moaned in aggravation, clutching my hair. Why did this sort of thing always have to happen to _me, _for crying out loud? What did I ever do?

I looked up at the stairs one more time. Then I turned and regarded the sinisterly dark common room.

"Oh, for crying out loud," I muttered, then turned and stomped up the stairs as fast as I could, before I had time to change my mind.

0o0

Da – daaa! A brand new chapter for your enjoyment. Take it as a 'sorry' gift for my appalling lack up updating, I know, I _know _it's been a long time. But I have been very, very busy, so do try to forgive me.

Anyway, my GCSE results came out on the 24th of August, as you all know. If you would like to know what grades I got, visit my profile! I was ever so happy with them, and I would like to thank everyone who wished me luck. You guys made all that revision easier to get through!

Must dash. Love to you all, and as always, please review!

Bubbles xxx


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